“i’m Glad Y’all Are Around,” Nolan Tells Adrian In Regards To Him And His Brother Also Staying

Jeremy Allen White for Saint Laurent (SS24)

#Is this not what happened?!

     "relax," nolan chuckled, "no one thinks you're an asshole." her dreamy gaze and pale face had worried him. it was the reason he had approached her in the first place. "i guess you just answered my question, though," he thought out loud, referring to having asked if she was going to be okay since he'd caught a look in her eye that made him think she might fall over (must've been when the waffle whispered). "listen, just have a seat, i'll be right back," he said as he gently guided her into one of the booths. a few moments later, nolan returned with the chocolate-chipped treat. "here." he slid it in front of, only to then stand up straight and look around the cafe in case anyone around hinted at knowing her. there was no one. he peered back her, clearing his throat. "are you okay to drive?"

open starter location/time: sunrise cafe; late evening

she didn't mean to zone out, she really didn't, but after working four ten hour shifts straight, her brain was no longer functioning. the only thing her brain could focus on was the absolutely stunning chocolate chip waffle in front of her.

"I'm.. not trying to be an asshole, i promise, but i am going to need you to repeat what you just said. i swear this waffle just started whispering to me.. i know that's not the case, but the sleep deprivation is getting to me hardcore."

NOLAN BALLAND @ the sunset villa beach party !

there were many things for him to regret in life, but nolan always supposed that came with living. it was impossible for things to be perfect all the time, so mistakes were bound to happen. he could not deny that. could he admit to doing wrong in this instance, though? no, not when he watched her displeasure deepen day by day or when he listened to her complaints of the life she felt locked into. so why the anguish over something he stood by?

seeing her now, getting lost in her eyes all over again, nolan knew what it was he truly regretted. he wished he had made clear what he felt for her back then. shown her that what he had done wasn't just for her, but for both of them. he had been confident it would bring them closer together, not make them strangers to the point where he couldn’t even guess what she would say next.

of course they expected whatever she said to hurt. there was no way to avoid it, but when she spoke, a stinging sensation stabbed him in his chest and almost made him keel over.

a familiar panic began to wrap itself around his neck. he swallowed hard, pushing it down to the pit of his stomach. the acid will eat it away, he thought to himself as a bitterness began to fill his mouth. he refused to believe she didn’t want to ever see him again. if she’d been anyone else, he would’ve let the venom brewing in him to escape and return the pain. with serra, so sweet and so delicate in their eyes however, they couldn’t do it. so they swallowed it down again, the lump in their throat growing.

“i don’t think it’s funny,” he was finally able to get out. i think it’s really fucking sick actually, he almost spits out, but he doesn’t want her to run off and disappear again. he wants his explanation, needs it at this point. so he puts on a mask and pretends he’s fine; he knows how to act after all.

it’s when she stops and faces them that the facade begins to slip. they doubt they’re strong enough to keep it on much longer, so they let her have her way (an easy and natural thing for nolan). “okay. fine. not now,” he surrenders before going onto insist it’s not the end of things. “but we have to talk about this. i’ve missed you.. a lot. i know we can be close again if you only understood, so just… take time to talk to me.”

it’s a performance worthy of an academy award. serra walks away composed and confident, as if the entire situation wasn’t freaking her the fuck out, even as unseen tears stream down her face. it’s surreal?

sure, a part of her always knew that nolan would return to palmview, and perhaps on some level, she had been waiting and hoping for this moment. but, it feels too soon, far too soon. she’s not prepared for it, rendered breathless. 

when serra first saw the news, all she wanted to do was hug him, make sure he was okay. but now, it feels more natural to keep her distance. her confidant, her rock, now a stranger. from a distance, she watches him on the beach, the tide tickling his toes. there’s a calming familiarity that overcomes her, as if she’s watching an old video of their shared time back in los angeles, a faint, wistful smile filling her features.

she takes her time to meet him, her mind racing with a million thoughts of what to say, but none of them feeling quite right. now, only a few feet away, their eyes connect– and she had never envied the ghost crab more, wishing she too, could disappear into the sand. 

i’m really happy to see you, he says. is she happy to see him too? she’s unsure. pondering her words carefully, serra continues walking on the path he started. “i didn’t…” she starts, then falters, her eyes meeting his before looking away. “i didn’t…” again, she hesitates. “i didn’t think i even wanted to see you again.” she finally manages, her words coming out clumsily, in typical serra fashion.

“funny how i've ended up here.” she shrugs and chuckles nervously, the reality of living in his hometown just sinking in. “i can’t quite explain it,” she admits, unclear as to whether she’s talking about her arrival in palmview or her exit from los angeles. “—but, do we really have to do this?” she stops them short, her hand briefly finding their shoulder before she turns to face them fully. “you know exactly why i left, nolan. it's just... hard for me to look at you the same way."

unwilling to admit that they might be transparent, nolan didn't try too hard to hide their new distaste for knox. they knew it wasn't his fault adrian was such a douche and really, the jealousy nolan felt from learning about his and serra's relationship (ongoing or not) was no one's problem but theirs. still, with the two being best friends, they saw him as guilty by association. and it showed in the flat "congratulations," he said to knox when he shared the good news. "i'm sure you worked hard for it." // @thalassophilez

it was true, nolan was aimless. palmview did something to him. it was almost as if he’d reverted back to teenage-hood whenever he got back home. not in every way, but in some sense. maybe it was the lack of work or the wanting to fit in, but feeling unknown to himself. whatever it was, it sent him on a walk, which often led to wandering around town for hours. today, however, he gained some direction when he saw a familiar face, only realizing he was in the market when she spoke to him. “i actually want to know nothing at all,” he replied with a wry grin, weighing whether or not he was speaking truthfully to himself as he took a seat next to her. “by all means, though, tell me what’s in there.” he nodded towards the smoothie, his smile still soft, now with curiosity. he allowed himself the comfort of being in the presence of someone who wasn’t his mother.

Where&When: the green spot // 6pm on Monday Starter for: @bnolan

This week had been hard and it had barely started. All she wanted to do was enjoy her green smoothie and cross items off of her grocery list but as usual, she had been bombarded with people that just wouldn't leave her alone. It was something she'd normally be cool with and readily accept/enthusiastically greet people but today had been a combination of a hard day at work and overwhelming attention.

She decided to sit down on a bench to catch her breath before seeing Nolan walking in her direction. "Please tell me you want to know what's in my smoothie and nothing else." She speaks with a bit of an exasperation in her voice.

without any hesitation, nolan reaches for the shot. they thank adrian, giving him a mischievous look before they down it, this time not even bothering to clink the small glass with other's. the spirit lifts him up, makes him stand up straighter as a small shiver goes down his spine. already he feels it working with the previous one to loosen him up. despite the muscles packed on him, nolan is a bit of a lightweight since he doesn't drink often. though lately, he's been indulging more and more. for a moment, he considers if maybe adrian has used substances as a way to blur out reality in the same way nolan has been since coming home. it almost makes him laugh. what does adrian need to run away from? his life is perfect.

taking a quick look around, nolan doesn't see anyone who catches his eye so he turns his attention back to his company. without rhodes around, nolan isn't really sure how to engage with adrian, so he has to resort to small talk. "so.. how are things? saw you swiping earlier. have you met anyone out here yet that you think will be able to tame the beast?" even as he speaks, nolan can hear how cringey the last of his words are but the vodka has already soothed his nerves enough for him not to care too much.

he's perched on nolan's couch, swiping through tinder like he swipes through insta stories -- barely paying attention. every time 'it's a match!' appears on his screen, he copy pastes and sends the exact same message: you're too fucking cute. going out tonight?

nolan's voice eventually pulls him out of his trance; a slow grin spreads over his features, visibly buzzed from pregaming at the yacht club since 2 pm. "aww, just tell me you missed me." adrian sure did; he enjoys their occasional hangouts, might even give him the drunk, sappy 'i love you, man' speech in the bathrooms of whatever establishment they end up at.

"to boy's night." he smirks, holding up the mini bottle of grey goose (or what's left of it anyway, because nolan sure took his sweet time).

--

they go to adrian's favorite club; he's chummy with the bouncer who lets them straight in, the dirty looks from the rest of the line only fueling his power trip. inside, he orders three shots, downs one by himself before bringing the other two back to nolan, "you've got some catching up to do."

despite being somewhat of public figure, nolan did not do well in crowds. less so since the riot. after spilling most of his first drink, he had made his way back to charlotte and played the gentleman by offering to get them drinks. he held both of them in his hand, though he was not yet ready to get back into the thick of it. spotting another wallflower, nolan scooted closer to her just in time to catch her remark. it made him chuckle. "giving yourself a pep talk?" he questioned, a gentle smile still lingering on their lips. "mind if i have one too?"

for: everyone. where: the sunset villa's beach party event. " this should be fun. " alyssa mumbled to herself and held the glass of her drink in her hands. taking a few quick sips from her drink. her eyes now began to scan around at the party. the music that was playing was so loud that it was blasting through her ears. the blonde was just standing here and waiting for a few more minutes before going around and mingling.