Unwilling To Admit That They Might Be Transparent, Nolan Didn't Try Too Hard To Hide Their New Distaste

knowing that serra was in town, it had become basically impossible for nolan not to seek her out anywhere he went. with what seemed all of palmview here at the beach party, he was willing to bet everything on running into her. that's what made lottie on his arm all the better. maybe it was petty and immature, but he truly believed that if she saw him with someone else, then maybe she would understand how he had felt all those years ago.

all feelings of entitlement washed away with the waves when he caught sight of her. distressed. out of habit, they felt pulled towards her, so they followed her as she slipped away from the crowd as if a string connected the two and they could only be so far apart. he could explain to lottie later. right now, his old friend needed him.

when he finally caught up to serra, nolan spoke with great tenderness. "hey. what's wrong?" he moved closer to her. like the water on the shore, whatever was washed away was also brought back; he felt compelled to bring her in his arms. he knew how to comfort her. how to ease her away from hurt to the point of laughter. but the reality of them being out of each other's lives for so long and having grown into different people had hit him hard these past few days, so he stopped himself from reaching out to her, though he was still close to her. "you can't leave yet. i was just about to bust a move. you really don't wanna' miss that." // @serraszn

#Is this not what happened?!

just as nolan was about to ask about any potential allergies, liv made it clear that she didn't have any. endless possibilities. they lightly tapped their index finger against their lip. he wasn't much of a sweets guy and he didn't exactly know her well enough to know her taste; the combination made it difficult to be confident in his decision. still, he liked the promise of being treated to something, so he wasn't going to back pass the opportunity. "go with..." he dragged out the last syllable as his eyes scanned the selection of pastries, "the lemon poppy muffin, it'll go good with the london fog." though he said it with assurance, noaln wasn't exactly sure if it really would make a good pair. comfortable with making orders, he added, "which also happens to be what i want. iced."

OPEN TO ALL

LOCATION: sunshine bakery

“Okay so here’s the deal,” Alivia prompted, turning from the display case to the person next to her. “If you can help me pick something to get, I’ll buy whatever you want. My treat.” She offered. At this point in her day, she needed a boost that usually came in the form of something sugary and something caffeinated. And sometimes, she liked getting suggestions for what she should get. Hence the attempt at recruiting the other into her plan. “I’ll try anything, so the possibilities are endless at this point.” She laughed.

there were many things for him to regret in life, but nolan always supposed that came with living. it was impossible for things to be perfect all the time, so mistakes were bound to happen. he could not deny that. could he admit to doing wrong in this instance, though? no, not when he watched her displeasure deepen day by day or when he listened to her complaints of the life she felt locked into. so why the anguish over something he stood by?

seeing her now, getting lost in her eyes all over again, nolan knew what it was he truly regretted. he wished he had made clear what he felt for her back then. shown her that what he had done wasn't just for her, but for both of them. he had been confident it would bring them closer together, not make them strangers to the point where he couldn’t even guess what she would say next.

of course they expected whatever she said to hurt. there was no way to avoid it, but when she spoke, a stinging sensation stabbed him in his chest and almost made him keel over.

a familiar panic began to wrap itself around his neck. he swallowed hard, pushing it down to the pit of his stomach. the acid will eat it away, he thought to himself as a bitterness began to fill his mouth. he refused to believe she didn’t want to ever see him again. if she’d been anyone else, he would’ve let the venom brewing in him to escape and return the pain. with serra, so sweet and so delicate in their eyes however, they couldn’t do it. so they swallowed it down again, the lump in their throat growing.

“i don’t think it’s funny,” he was finally able to get out. i think it’s really fucking sick actually, he almost spits out, but he doesn’t want her to run off and disappear again. he wants his explanation, needs it at this point. so he puts on a mask and pretends he’s fine; he knows how to act after all.

it’s when she stops and faces them that the facade begins to slip. they doubt they’re strong enough to keep it on much longer, so they let her have her way (an easy and natural thing for nolan). “okay. fine. not now,” he surrenders before going onto insist it’s not the end of things. “but we have to talk about this. i’ve missed you.. a lot. i know we can be close again if you only understood, so just… take time to talk to me.”

"d'y'know what i mean?" nolan asked, peering at thea as he held up the two different colored polos. “i don’t think it’s the colors. i’m just more of a t-shirt or button-up guy.” why have a hybrid of each one of the two’s worst parts? maybe it was a sensory thing, but nolan hated the thick knitted fabric of them compared to the softness of a dress shirt. // @theaxward

“i’m glad y’all are around,” nolan tells adrian in regards to him and his brother also staying in palmview. if you asked them, nolan wouldn’t be able to say if it was sincere. maybe it was and it wasn’t. i can be complex, he thinks to himself.

on one hand, it was nice to have an old friend nearby. someone to be himself with. someone who was good at looking away from the ugly side of things. nolan didn’t want to think about los angeles, but it was getting hard to suppress the violent flashbacks of his last day there…

on the other hand, they aren’t the biggest fan of adrian. in fact, on a good day and if he wasn’t in sight, nolan would not call adrian a friend. but their mothers are friends, plus adrian’s known to make generous donations to the fundraisers nolan takes part in organizing, so keeping up appearances with the shephards has its importance.

getting the last of his things, nolan is finally ready. “okay, let’s get into some trouble,” he says with a smile, tossing a nip of adrian’s choice of spirit to him, then he twists the cap to his open. nolan holds up the mini alcohol bottle, taking a moment to think of what to toast to. “to boy’s night,” he says once he realizes he won’t be able to come up with anything better. // @adrivns

     "relax," nolan chuckled, "no one thinks you're an asshole." her dreamy gaze and pale face had worried him. it was the reason he had approached her in the first place. "i guess you just answered my question, though," he thought out loud, referring to having asked if she was going to be okay since he'd caught a look in her eye that made him think she might fall over (must've been when the waffle whispered). "listen, just have a seat, i'll be right back," he said as he gently guided her into one of the booths. a few moments later, nolan returned with the chocolate-chipped treat. "here." he slid it in front of, only to then stand up straight and look around the cafe in case anyone around hinted at knowing her. there was no one. he peered back her, clearing his throat. "are you okay to drive?"

open starter location/time: sunrise cafe; late evening

she didn't mean to zone out, she really didn't, but after working four ten hour shifts straight, her brain was no longer functioning. the only thing her brain could focus on was the absolutely stunning chocolate chip waffle in front of her.

"I'm.. not trying to be an asshole, i promise, but i am going to need you to repeat what you just said. i swear this waffle just started whispering to me.. i know that's not the case, but the sleep deprivation is getting to me hardcore."

     "there's no other reason for me to come if you're not here," nolan replied, his tone flat despite the compliment. he didn't exactly like coming to bars on weeknights, but since returning home, there was little keeping him occupied enough not to wander in. he followed him in, taking a seat at the bar and giving his order to the other bartender. "how long have you been working here?" nolan begins once knox appears to have settled in. small talk could help the evening pass along more swiftly, right?

open starter @ the beach ( coral cove )

caloused digits wrap around the metal door of his jeep as he then pushes it shut , curiousity making his eyebrows raise as he spots the other waiting by the bars entrance . " y'know the bars always open , right ? you dont gotta wait for me to show up for work to go inside . "