Bnolan - ON THE VERGE

knowing the crowd would be too much for him to jump straight into, nolan grabbed a whiteclaw from the open bar and wandered along the coast. they stood looking out at the horizon, a few hundred yards away from the bustle of beach-goers. he contemplated chugging the drink in hopes of the alcohol to take a quick enough effect to make him ready to be social. he knew lottie would be wondering where he'd run off to, so he tried but the carbonated drink hurt his throat and his coughed up more than half of what he'd wanted to swallow. shaking off what'd splattered on him, nolan was horrified to see that someone had been witness to the whole thing. "looks like i retired the party animal too early." they tried to joke away the embarrassment. // @richardsonlouis

Jeremy Allen White for Saint Laurent (SS24)

why are moms capable of just leeching vibe arsenic into the atmosphere when they’re pissed

NOLAN BALLAND @ the sunset villa beach party !

     "relax," nolan chuckled, "no one thinks you're an asshole." her dreamy gaze and pale face had worried him. it was the reason he had approached her in the first place. "i guess you just answered my question, though," he thought out loud, referring to having asked if she was going to be okay since he'd caught a look in her eye that made him think she might fall over (must've been when the waffle whispered). "listen, just have a seat, i'll be right back," he said as he gently guided her into one of the booths. a few moments later, nolan returned with the chocolate-chipped treat. "here." he slid it in front of, only to then stand up straight and look around the cafe in case anyone around hinted at knowing her. there was no one. he peered back her, clearing his throat. "are you okay to drive?"

open starter location/time: sunrise cafe; late evening

she didn't mean to zone out, she really didn't, but after working four ten hour shifts straight, her brain was no longer functioning. the only thing her brain could focus on was the absolutely stunning chocolate chip waffle in front of her.

"I'm.. not trying to be an asshole, i promise, but i am going to need you to repeat what you just said. i swear this waffle just started whispering to me.. i know that's not the case, but the sleep deprivation is getting to me hardcore."

maybe it was because nolan was a serial monogamous, maybe it was just the fact that adrian could be so disrespectful; whatever the reason, nolan was not surprised to hear it was nothing serious. so expected in fact, he barely felt sorry for whatever poor girl had adrian confused. or the fact that'd he'd been swiping while there was still a possibility in his mind that the two were still together.

that was until he sees serra on the screen.

instinctively, nolan knocks the phone out of adrian's hand so it clatters on the table. "wha-- how-- what?!" though indirectly, it is the beginning of yet another series of questions serra has brought to him.

then he realizes, it is too late to play it cool. despite keeping adrian at somewhat of a distance, they've known each other long enough for nolan to get away with lying that he didn't know her. not with that reaction. instead of revealing just how well and for how long they've known serra, they decide to make it seem like less than it is. "sorry, man. just.. isn't that that influencer girl? you coulda' showed me another picture," he starts, then decides to quickly question him for more details to distract from his unease, but also to gather more information. "but what the fuck do you mean you don't know if y'all are together or not?" it was difficult to tone down his aggression.

adrian throws back the shot with ease, digits soon tapping impatiently against his thigh, itching for another drink. another cigarette. anything. he chuckles at nolan's question, "oh that? nah, that's-- i'm just seeing what's out there tonight. nothing serious."

as if on cue, his phone vibrates in his pocket. he almost drops it in his haste to pull it out, lips moving silently as he reads the notification on his lock screen: emrata, nbaonespn and serra recently added to their stories. "actually, i uh--" he looks up at nolan again, realizes he's never mentioned serra to him before, and well, they're close enough that he could tell him now, "--i've been seeing this girl for a while. or, used to, i guess, i don't fucking know--" he chuckles again, even though there's nothing funny about it and their last conversation left him feeling like complete shit.

a few, quick swipes and he's holding his phone out to nolan; on the screen, a half-naked selfie of serra, clearly meant for adrian's eyes only. "i mean, she's hot, right?" he asks with a shit-eating grin.

everything happened fast and yet slow at the same time. the moment of eye contact was brief, but it struck a cord that rushed their shared memories to the front of his mind. nolan felt a desperation he thought he’d abandoned some time ago.

the aggression in serra’s large response made nolan release her. it was a reflexive movement, as if he'd placed his palm on a hot stove. despite appearing almost helpless, it felt like serra had turned to flame and now nolan had a burned hand.

he thought back to when he last saw her. she’d been unreadable to him. it had discomforted him then since he had believed himself to know her better than she knew herself. hadn’t he freed her? had she wanted to be free of him too?

recognizing the threat of spiraling down a hole they had gone down many times, nolan shook their head violently to bring them back up. his hand still burned from the contact. “okay. fine.” he said curtly. his lips pursed as he watched her walk away. nolan did his best to believe she would do as she said and meet him at the beach.

the water was warm on his feet as he paced along the shore. they had hoped the lapsing waves would soothe them, become a sort a sensory distraction, but it was no use. there was no escaping the anxiety and dread of being played for a fool yet again as old questions and worries troubled his mind. it wasn’t until he saw her from yards away did the water actually begin to comfort him.

shoes in hand, nolan walked towards her. “i’m really happy to see you,” he told her once they were close enough to that he was sure she’d hear, unwilling to admit he doubted she’d come. “i just didn’t think i’d see you.. here of all places.”

who: serra and nolan (@bnolan) where: coral cove beach, palmview, florida

they say that the human body will respond to fear in one of four ways: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. flight has always been serra’s default, but with nolan’s hand around her wrist, escape seems impossible. she’s like a deer in the headlights, her big, doe-like eyes caught in his piercing blue gaze. realizing her mouth is slightly agape, serra swiftly presses her lips together and swallows, throat tight. “get off me!" her words spit like venom as she yanks her arm away and takes a step back to create distance. after a moment, she takes a breath, "please leave me alone." though her words are softer, tears threaten to spill.

anger, betrayal, and a deep sadness consume her. she misses him terribly but no longer trusts him. nolan turned her into a pariah under the guise of "protecting" her-- how does that make sense? but as she stands there questioning his motives, the ache of missing him only grows when she looks into his eyes. she doesn’t owe him any explanation for ghosting, but she can’t help feeling a pang of sympathy, knowing he might be seeking one. nonetheless, this wasn't really the right place to do it. "we can talk, but not here. i'll meet you on the beach in twenty minutes." she says gently, then walks off to gather her thoughts before seeing him again.

#Is this not what happened?!