LISTEN EVERYBODY !

˖⁺‧₊ kitty? kitty.

author's note: i'm kinda nervous to post stuff but you only live once, right? a big thank you to @yoosungs-cheeks and @jannine00742 (my name twin hehe~) for proof reading! feedback is appreciated !!

“You done in there, Pickle?”. It was one time you were craving pickles at 3 am and couldn't open the jar, one time. And yet here you were, being reminded of the incident every few minutes.

“Pthu! Yep, I’m done. And stop calling me that!”, you spit out the tooth paste, wiping your mouth with your designated towel. It had been a while since you had decided to stay with Isaac. Soon after, his bathroom became your bathroom. His sink, once only occupied with his shaving equipment and toothbrush, soon became more cramped with your skin care and toothbrush holder. His bedroom became your bedroom. His bleak grey bedding now littered comfortable pillows and his nightstand stacked with the library's newest additions.

Leaving the bathroom, you spot your lover nestled into one of the two surprisingly comfortable leather chairs. You wrap your arms around him gently from behind, pecking his cheek. “Whatcha reading?”.

You glance over as he flips the book over so you can read the title. “Lord of the Flies? Bleh”, you grimace before continuing, “Though, I can’t say I’m surprised, Golding is almost as cynical as you”. “Someone’s in the mood to play”, Isaac chuckles, pulling you onto his lap. He kisses your shoulder before turning back to keep reading.

“Mind if I have a sip?”, I ask, nodding to his tea. Isaac hums, but soon pulls it away before you could steal a sip from him. “On second thought, no”. You pout, nudging him gently, “Huh? Why?! Don’t be stingy~ You know I like earl grey”.

He chuckles at your whining. “Because, you just brushed your teeth. I do not mind sharing with you, but I don’t think the taste of toothpaste and tea go together, Pickle”. You huff quietly, but don’t argue back. With a quiet yawn, you lean your head against his, occasionally playing with the sleeve of his free hand or a stray lock.

Your eyes twinkle as you watch him read. It’s difficult not to kiss him with the way his brows furrowed slightly in concentration. Part of you wants to straighten out the crease, poke his cheek, or maybe nibble on his neck, just to see his reaction. Almost as if he’d read your mind, Isaac leans over to give you a soft kiss, his free hand reaching for your lower back, the other still holding the book.

“Someone’s needy”, he smirks, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear, “Are you bored?”. You yawn again, shaking your head, “No, just want to bother you a bit. Pay attention to me~”.

“Tired?”, he cups your cheek, closing the book as he sees through your playful facade. Truth be told, you were exhausted - but going to sleep now would mean going to sleep alone. If you asked Isaac to come with you, he’d drop everything in his hands and do just that, but, knowing just how little free time he gave himself, you wanted to tough it out. “No. Unless you’re read to sleep”, you mumble, nuzzling into him slightly.

“I'm ready for bed anytime you are, Kitten,” Isaac grins, seeing through you instantly.

“…Kitten?”, you blink in surprise. “Huh. I can’t tell if that’s an upgrade or downgrade from ‘Pickle’”.

"Hm… do you prefer something else? It came to me naturally. You’re clingy and yet independent. Needy and playful when you know I’m busy, and while I can count on you for important matters, I can also count on the fact that you’re a brat and a tease. So, Kitten was a natural next step”.

You tilt your head in thought, before shaking it softly, “You’re so… weird sometimes, Isaac”.

Isaac chuckles and lets go of you but only to take you by the hand and lead you to your bedroom. He motions for you to lay down and climbs in behind you, his body wrapped against yours. There’s a comfortable silence.

“Isaac?”, you mumble after a while. Isaac pecks the side of your neck, humming quietly, "Hmm?”.

“…Can we actually get a cat?”. You had asked him a few times - albeit playfully.

"You were serious about that? If getting a pet is a necessity for you…".

You nod slowly, turning to face him. “I think it’d be a nice addition to the family. It’s too early to think about having kids, but getting a fur baby would be nice, no? Besides, you said you always wanted a pet as a kid”.

He hums again, leaning his head on your shoulder while stroking your arm in thought, “You have no idea how tempting the idea of a family with you is… It is too early, though, yes”. He nods, “My mom was good with animals. I always wanted a pet that I could play with, like a dog or maybe a cat, but my grandfather was allergic to them”.

You glance down at him, softly patting his head. “Would you prefer a dog, then? Puppies are cute too”.

He shakes his head, his reply coming in swift and shrap, “No”. “A dog needs to be walked daily. I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of you leaving the house periodically, anything could happen. No”. Your hand pauses, before you sigh quietly. As much as he tried to hide it, his paranoia was still clear as day. Baby steps.

“A cat doesn’t need to go outside”, you mumble, kissing his forehead. His breathing slowed down as he laid against you in silence, “A cat it is…”.

You sit up straight, mouth hanging open, “No way- seriously?!”. Isaac laughs at your sudden enthusiasm, “Calm down, Kitten. We'll go to the shelter in the morning, we'll pick out a nice cat, I'm sure. But for now just focus on your sleep, you won't be able to if you're this excited."

You snuggle back into the pillows, gigging happily, “Ah~ I’m so happy right now! What breed should we get? Oh- and are we getting a boy or a girl? Ah- we should probably buy a bed too right? And proper food? And those cute scratching posts! Are we adopting a kitten or an older cat? Or maybe- mmpf”.

Isaac cuts you short as you babble, silencing you with a gentle kiss, “Slow down, Kitten. You realize it is 3 in the morning, right? Can you at least wait for the sun to come up before you start planning our feline's every move?”.

You rub your neck sheepishly, “Sorry… I’m just excited!”. He can’t help but smile at you, cupping your face between his hands carefully, “I know, Pickle. Let’s sleep first and discuss the details tomorrow, hmm?”.

“Mmh. Good night, Isaac”, you peck his cheek. He returns the favor before closing his eyes.

“Isaac?… You didn’t brush your teeth…”.

© chol1na

<3

xanthus x reader

xanthus comforts you!

ANOTHA ONE! and ofc its xanny again what can i sayyy i love my pookie- this was meant to be more wholesome butttt i chopped off an entire part that just didn't flow with everything

alsooo finals season is starting and ill be busy suffering for the next two weeks sooo i may complete one more fic later this week then disappear for a while

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

“You're in the wind, I'm in the water Nobody's son, nobody's daughter”

You’re not one to sulk, throughout your life you’ve learnt that pointless worrying will never prove to be an advantage and overthinking weighs you down like a heavy burden. Although sometimes you can’t help but think of home especially now when your life is thrown on the line all over again. The home you once knew and loved isn’t your home anymore. The home you abandoned to pursue a better life. Ironically, that peace was short-lived and danger seems to follow you everywhere you go; it seeps into the cracks of your life, it follows you to every crevice of the earth.

Sometimes you wonder about your parent and if they think of you too. It would be funny to explain the course your life has taken to them. It would be nice to introduce Xanthus to them. Would that be possible? Are they even alive still? Nothing is guaranteed, nothing at all. Maybe someday you could track them down. Someday you could see them again and hug them but would they even remember you? Have they already moved on and forgotten about you?

That’s impossible, right?

Dontis’ home has a spectacular view of the city, his balcony was a perfect to observe the city’s rich culture but that wasn’t your reason for gazing down at the lights and colours that illuminated the streets. You wished to clear your mind, avoid your thoughts of home and your parents but the families that hurried excitedly through the streets together did not help you whatsoever. If anything, it made your current predicament worst.

Teardrops fall onto your hand, the wet stream cooling in the nigh time breeze as it rolls down your cheeks leaving a glistening trail in their wake. Shit, you didn’t mean to cry not when Xanthus can feel what you feel.

“Love, are you out there?” his soothing voice calls from behind you.

Crap it’s too late now.

“Yeah, uh I’m here” your hands quickly drag against your cheeks wiping away any sign of tears before you head inside.

He stood by the glass doors, waiting for you. You don’t say a word. You walk straight to him pressing resting your forehead against. His hands immediately wrap around your body and he placed a kiss on the crown of your head.

“What’s the matter my love?” his voice is so gentle, so patient.

It makes you break down all over again. Your lips quiver, and you squeeze your eyes shut as you sob into him. Xanthus is so sooo patient with you. He stays with you silently rubbing small circles on your back and resting his face against your hair.

You don’t know how long you’ve been standing there with him but it was long enough for you to calm down. Hiccups leaving your throat as you pull back from him.

“’m sorry” you mumble

“You don’t have to be love” he cradles your face in his palms.

“I ruined your shirt” you eye the wet splotch on the front of his shirt but Xanthus only lets out a short chuckled.

“That’s the last thing on my mind right now” he kisses your forehead. “Come on, let’s get you comfortable”

He walks you to the plush sofa and drapes a soft blanket over your shoulders before disappearing into the kitchen. Within seconds he’s back by your side with water and he takes a seat next to you.

“Thank you Xan” you take a sip of your water.

“I promised to take care of you didn’t I? Now, do you want to talk about it?” concern is evident in his voice and his eyes.

“I don’t know, lately I’ve been thinking about my parents and I guess it makes me sad. I think during my time away from them I’ve romanticized a relationship that’s far better the one we actually had.” A deep sigh heaves from your chest “Truth be told, I’m not even sure they’d remember me. It’s been so long and I still somehow miss them and the relationship we could have had if I stayed”

“That’s alright love, it’s understandable” he lays on the sofa pulling you close to him. “Sometimes I feel it too.”

“Really?” you perk up like a puppy, only slowly like a rather sick puppy given how miserable you feel.

“Yeah” he looks down at you “It’s been 400 years but sometimes I think of a fond memory and I long for their presence again too.” The sadness doesn’t get lost in his voice and its clear Xanthus understands exactly how you feel.

“It’s mostly memories of my brother and my mother but it’s enough to make me miss them in my life.” He continued.

“I’m sorry” you weren’t sure how to reply, it felt most natural to let your actions say what your words couldn’t. You close your eyes and hugged him tighter.

“Don’t be, it’s not something we can change.” He smiles. “And we may not have families but we have each other don’t we?”

You look up at him to find his piercing eyes already looking for yours.

“We do.”

You smile at him and he pulls your body onto his chest. His lips fit perfectly against yours slowly savouring the feeling and taste. Your hands grip his shirt and his slips under the thick blanket to hold onto your waist. He pulls away slowly, reluctantly.

“And we’ll always have each other”

“Always” you parrot and he places a kiss on your forehead.

For the rest of the night Xanthus stays cuddled up with you in Dontis’ balcony, sharing fond memories, tracing patterns in the stars and eventually you fall asleep in his arms.

There's a glimmer in his eyes then he speaks again. “I have an idea, come here” he gets up, pulling you to follow him.

Life has definitely taken a turn through another dangerous path, but you aren’t complaining. You don’t bother yourself with such a mediocre thing either, because through every hardship, every conflict, you aren’t alone. Xanthus has been here from the start and there’s no doubt in your mind that he’ll be here until the very end. You can feel it when he holds you close, when he kisses you, and especially when he looks you in the eyes and tells you how much he loves you.

The guarantee of a future is unknown but you’d die and do it all over again if it meant Xanthus was by your side.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

ahhhh okay okay so the latest ask (this one: https://www.tumblr.com/zsakuva/739500232427143168/i-was-watching-your-stream-yesterday-and-you?source=share) made me think of something! since listener has kinda tried to embrace isaac’s japanese side (by making gyoza for example), wouldn’t it be so cute if they tried to learn a bit of japanese for him and surprise him with it? or if he helped them study it?? i feel like he’d be really patient and gentle with that kinda thing hehe. maybe he’d tease them about their pronunciation a bit, or encourage them if they were a little shy? gah~ idk i just think he’d be really sweet about it!

man, saku. you never fail to take my obsession for fictional men to a whole new level…

take care of yourself and say hi to kimahri~!!

If Housekeeper decided to learn Japanese and surprise Isaac with it, the amount of love he'd feel would be insurmountable. He would do more than soften his gaze; I think he'd swoon and believe he's dreaming. To him, he'd wonder how he had someone as precious as the Housekeeper for a lover.

Isaac would take great pride in teaching Housekeeper the Japanese language and culture!

Thank you! :D

Isaac and listener having their first ever disagreement/misunderstanding as lovers ever ever???

𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐂𝐫𝐲 ꨄ Isaac

˜”* ❝𝙄'𝙡𝙡 𝙬𝙖𝙞𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙚, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝, 𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙚.❞

⎯⎯ ୨ ୧ ⎯⎯

ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ: ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ɢᴏɴᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛᴏᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ.

⎯୨⎯ " " ⎯୧⎯

Beep.

“Hey, when you get this, can you call me back? I want to make sure you’re okay. Bye, honey.”

Beep.

“It’s been an hour… I made some food for us. I know I normally don’t cook but you’re, wherever you are and I wanted to make something for us. Call me when you get this, love you.”

Beep.

“It’s been about… 4 hours since the last one? I’m getting kind of worried. I mean, I know you, you wouldn’t ignore me or anything so I hope you’re okay. Just make sure to call me when you get this, bye.”

Beep.

“honey, please come home, It’s three in the morning.”

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

You open the door quietly. You knew you were gone for a long time but didn’t want to wake up Isaac.

“Welcome home.”

You jumped at the voice that spoke to you.

“Isaac? What are you doing up right now?”

You put your coat up and walk closer to him.

“Where were you?”

“Isaac, you need to slee–”

“Don’t tell me what to do, Y/N. Where were you?”

You’d never seen him this angry before especially not to you. You knew what the time was, you knew how tired he was.

“Isaac we can talk about this when you get the sleep you need.”

“The sleep I need? You were gone since, what, nine? Do you know how many times I tried calling you?”

“I was busy.”

“And you couldn’t call back? I thought something happened to you, I didn’t know where you were and why.”

“You didn’t need to. I’m sorry I was gone for so long but I’m here now.”

You walked away out of frustration and went into the kitchen.

“No, we’re not doing this. What if you got hurt?”

“But I didn’t! Isaac, I need you to stop trying to babysit me! You’re always trying to fucking watch over me but I’m grown. I don’t need you to watch me all the damn time!”

You could hear him get up to follow you, clearly pissed. 

“Maybe because I care about you?! I don’t want to find out that I couldn’t protect you or some crazy shit like that! I was sitting here for hours, waiting, all because you couldn’t pick up the phone! You’re mad at me? I’m the one that should be mad! You know I’m paranoid, Y/N.”

You grabbed a drink from the fridge and a cup to pour it in. You weren’t ‘mad’ at him, you just didn’t feel like arguing.

There was a new found tension between the two of you and you didn't like it. It felt tight, suffocating.

“Isaac,” You look at him.

He stops his movement to look at you. His eyes were full of worry and anger.

“I understand, you worry about me. I’m sorry I didn’t call you back. I didn’t mean to make you worry, okay? I just don’t want to fight and I just want us to be okay.”

“We are okay. I just– just, tell me next time. You didn’t even let me know before you left.”

You put everything down and hugged him. He was fragile and you forgot that. There was so much built-up emotion in his system and you could tell. He melted into you a bit, he needed to let go.

“I’m sorry, Isaac. I love you, okay?”

He looked at you and smiled, “I love you too, honey. We can have a better conversation about this later, okay?”

You nodded and took him to bed. 

Sure enough, when he woke up, he gave you an entire lecture about not answering your phone but you knew he just wanted you to be safe. Though, given his past, you knew you should’ve said something.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

thank u for requesting but how DARE YOU (ily)

@birdyyyyyy: Alr okay so my idea is … I’ve checked you don’t mind writing nsfw…HEHEHE

so.. Xanthus and the listener being at Dontis place for 2 months now. They didn’t do anything special beside kissing and hugging but it never crossed that line. One evening when Dontis was looking for company, Xanthus uses the opportunity to get close to the listener. They were on the coach talking and Xanthus was needy HE WAS NEEDY so he started getting close and then pulling listener under him and then yk … you don’t have to write it till s3x. Just go as far as you are comfortable. If you’re not comfortable just leave it aside lol

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦 - 𝐱𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐞 (𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖) ✧

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[ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛ] xᴀɴᴛʜᴜꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ʜᴏᴍᴇ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ xᴀɴᴛʜᴜꜱ ᴛᴀᴋᴇꜱ ᴀᴅᴠᴀɴᴛᴀɢᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴀᴛ.

a/n: hi guys omg ive had writers block for SO LONG and haven’t had any ideas so sorry i went on break for so long :(( but i’m back now ! (proceeds to come back with smut LMAOAO). ive based this on xanthus recent audio where dontis leaves to see his partner if thats okay!! you can just skip the first bit if you want as its just me quoting the start of the audio LOL. gender neutral reader :) also sorry if this is so cringe this is my like FIRST EVER smut so i apologise LOL

c/w: NSFW CONTENT AHEAD! not full smut but like pre smut LOL

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"How long are you going to be?"

"Not long, why are you worried about me?" Dontis teases with a smirk.

Xanthus scoffs, "No, you know the city so I'm sure you've mapped out the little hidey holes."

Dontis nods, "Yes I have. I'll let you know when I'm on the way back." He says as he grabs his bag.

You're sitting on the couch watching all of this unfold, Xanthus standing by the doorway as Dontis gathers his things. Fran had left a while ago to explore New Orleans, and Dontis is now leaving for a while, which means it would be just you two in the house.

Xanthus folds his arms.

"Hm. Be careful." Xanthus warns.

"When am I not?" Dontis says with a smile.

"If I listed them all now you'd be late for your appointment, and you seem...eager to leave." Xanthus questions.

Dontis chuckles. "Not to leave you but to see them, I have my own bonds to tend to."

"Hm, have fun then."

"You too~" Dontis says as he opens the door, turning back to you for a moment.

"Look after him okay?" Dontis jokes to you. You laugh gently.

"I will, don't worry." You joke back as Xanthus rolls his eyes sarcastically, smiling a little.

Dontis gives you one last smile before making his way out the door. Xanthus sighs as he makes his way over to you.

"Where has he gone too?" You ask.

"He's gone to see his hunter friend, and I doubt he's coming back soon." Xanthus says as he sits next to you on the couch.

"How come?"

"Because they think it will be the last time they see each other, and honestly I don't blame him for thinking that way." Xanthus sighs as he lets his head rest against the couch. "We're doing something that no one else has been foolish enough to do, well they have but were defeated without a soul to spread it. That means we're either brave or idiotic, or both." Xanthus shrugs.

"Well we'll have to see soon won't we?" You reply.

"Mhm, no matter what we are it'll all come to light soon. And in the mean time.." Xanthus shifts closer to you. "I'd like to tend to my bond, as Dontis puts it." He says as he strokes your face.

"Feeling a bit bold today are we?" You tease with a laugh.

Xanthus chuckles back, kissing your forehead. "Well, it has been a while since we've had some private time, especially with you doing so much research all the while. Ah, speaking of...how are you feeling, love?" Xanthus asks you.

You perk up about your feelings as Xanthus listens intently. After a while the conversation then turns into just talking about whatever, just appreciating each other's presence for a while.

ɴꜱꜰᴡ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛꜱ ʜᴇʀᴇ <3

However, you can't fail to notice how Xanthus was acting a bit...different. The constant shifting around, moving closer to you, the way his eyes lingered on your neck, looking at you like you were some sort of prey, and his tone just felt different. You shook it off, thinking it was just because it was the two of you in the house and he could let his guard down for a while. But when your eyes met the bulge between his legs, you knew exactly what he wanted from you. Your eyes went wide and you cut off what you were saying, starting to stutter.

You two had never done anything so...lewd. It never crossed your mind at all, only exchanging kisses and hugs. The only semi lewd thing you've done is when Xanthus was feeding on you, and his hand trailed a bit too much on your chest, touching places you didn't know were sensitive until then. But that was it, never going any further. So to see him be so needy in front of you now was...well quite arousing if you were being honest. The way his eyes lingered on you with that wanting expression made your body go warm.

You two stared at each other for a couple of seconds, before Xanthus sensed your want, looking at your lips. He moved closer to you and whispered.

"May I?"

You just nodded. He held your face gently and kissed you passionately, the kiss turning more needy as it carried on. Exchanging kisses, he put his hand behind your head and pushed you down gently, landing with a slight whine as he licks your bottom lip, asking for entrance as he strokes your face with one hand as he uses his other to support himself on top of you. You allow him in, his tongue battling with yours lovingly as he admires the noises you make. Sloppy kisses shared back and fourth, his hand trailing down your chest and perking at your nipples, gently trailing his hand over them, making you gasp into his mouth slightly. He smirked at this as he gets a reaction from you. He slowly starts to slip his hand under your shirt, toying with your nipples even more. The sudden contact made you break off the kiss and throw your head back, letting out a slight moan.

"God- Xanthus I- ah~" You cry out, putting your hands around his back. Xanthus takes this opportunity to latch his mouth on to your neck, not biting but making a different type of mark. Because of him feeding from you so often, he already knows all your weak spots on your neck, so he takes advantage of that, still toying with your perky nipples gently. Still crying out in pleasure, he pulls off your neck and holds your face, bringing his mouth to your ear and whispering.

"I'll make you forget for a while."

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hi guys im so sorry ive been gone for so long but ive had MAJOR writers block and autistic burnout for ages and havent had any ideas so im sorry for leaving without warning but i think im getting back in the swing of things now! this post is probably really random but i needed to get SOMETHING out. ill start working back into my routines and getting back into my posting as i went through a phase where i was posting EVERY SECOND for about 2 days LOL so ill try and post more now if i can :)

thank you for reading love u all <3

-Jasper

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Someone draw isaac like this please

Strictly Business

Isaac asks for a relationship that is entirely professional. You oblige, to both your disappointment.

Isaac Rhoades x Reader

Warnings: talk of insomnia

“I just thought—” you began hesitantly, moving the tray of cinnamon swirls closer to Isaac, prompting him to take a second one. The placating motion did nothing to ease the frown on his face. His hard stare remained fixed on you, annoyed and dismissive. You felt your heart sinking and averted your eyes.

Isaac hummed unbothered as if he couldn’t care less about your request to spend time together — as if he did not care in the slightest to entertain your pathetic longing for human company. “I’m busy, you know,” he said by way of dismissal and pushed the plate of freshly baked cinnamon swirls back towards you. 

After a bit of prying, you had found out that his mother used to make them when he felt sad and — with the anniversary of his parent’s death so recent — you wanted to cheer him up and surprise him with his comfort food. Isaac did not appreciate your efforts, evidently.

You tried to take the blunt rejection of both your company and care for him in stride, but you could not suppress the tight clench of your jaw as your heart squeezed painfully in your chest. “If I overstepped the other day in the garden,” you said slowly, raising your gaze to meet Isaac’s and show him the sincerity of your apology, “I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable in any way. I—”

“It’s fine,” he said curtly, rising from his seat at the table and straightening his tie. “Think nothing of it. It was a lapse of judgment on both parts. We can pretend it never happened.”

“But I actually—”

“No,” Isaac interrupted, holding up a hand to silence you, “our relationship is strictly professional and I intend to keep it that way. I’m sorry, but I am in no way interested in anything more. There is nothing between us. Understand?” 

Isaac’s stare burned into you and you swallowed thickly, hiding how much his words hurt. “I understand,” you said in a tone so calm and drained of feeling it took Isaac aback. 

He blinked in surprise, no longer used to your flat tone and apathetic stare. ‘Sir’ hung unsaid in the air between you. Isaac cleared his throat to break the loaded silence stretching across the house again. 

You got up from your seat, brushing down the front of your clothes. “Well, as you said, my services will not be needed on my day off. I will be in the library should you change your mind,” you said tonelessly, leveling Isaac stoically. 

There was a glint of worry in his eyes, a chip in his armor you could only spot because you had spent many hours with him, paying close attention to his expressions and mannerisms. Isaac looked unsure. His mouth was slightly agape, but whatever he wanted to say was buried a moment later, hidden behind the thick wall of nonchalance and indifference he put up. 

The crack in his mask was sealed, and expressionless eyes met your own.

“Happy reading.”

Isaac thought he knew what loneliness felt like — he had lived in solitude for years now — but no amount spent on his own had prepared him for the heart-wrenching sorrow he felt as you continuously brushed him off, retreating into yourself and being the strict definition of utterly professional. 

He felt hollow, watching you set the table with only one plate for him to eat at alone, hearing your monotonous voice ask him if he would prefer rice or pasta, seeing your lips twist in a polite but ingenuous smile as you greeted him in the mornings, handing him his coffee and disappearing to start on your daily chores. 

There had been no sweets, nor snacks you would prepare for him and shily requested he give you feedback on. There were no little bursts of light throughout his day as your paths crossed and you shot him a smile or playful wink. 

There were no intimate moments between you two where you would look at him with an open, vulnerable expression and rest your head against his chest as you told him about your past. There was no tender, featherlight caress of your fingers on his cheeks as he revealed some of his fears and troubles to you. 

You had shut him out, adhering to the boundaries he had impulsively set as his anxieties got the better of him. Now he was left with the consequences of pushing you away.

‘There is nothing between us,’ he had said, but why was his heart breaking every time you looked at him with your cold stare and turned your back a moment later? Why was he lying awake at night, his mind occupied only with thoughts of you as the devouring feeling of loneliness and loss swelled in his chest and choked him? Why was he missing you so terribly that it made tears gather in his eyes when you had your back turned?

It was pathetic, and one night, after you had shot down his concern for the dark circles under your eyes and told him it should be of no matter as long as you performed your duties to his standard, he recognized his sentiment to be a lie. 

There was something between you. There had to be because the sinking feeling as you, clearly hurting, turned away once more tore him to shreds. There was no other explanation for it, but Isaac was afraid of what that realization brought with it.

He was afraid that the admission to his all-encompassing love for you would be the very thing that destroyed him. Everyone he loved was gone, and he felt his hands beginning to shake at the thought that you — now among those he adored — would meet the same fate because he was too slow, too weak, too incompetent to protect you.

Still, there was only so much hollowness he could endure, and the loneliness engulfing him was so acute that it had begun hurting to exist in the house. Your brief company somehow made him feel the loneliest of all.

A quiet sound of protest came from one of the corners of the library as Isaac switched off the light. “Sorry,” he apologized tiredly, turning the light back on to look at you, huddled on the small sofa with a blanket around you and a book in your hands. Judging by the cover, it was Frankenstein. “I thought you had already gone to bed and left the light on by mistake. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

You glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed. It was late. However, something kept you from sleeping for the past few weeks, and no matter how tired you were, it was nearly impossible for you to doze off. At times, when the morning sun was slowly rising over the horizon and the first rays illuminated the dark blue of night, it felt like you were too tired to fall asleep.

“No worries,” you said curtly, resuming your reading, “I will make sure to turn off the light when I go up in a minute. Good night.” 

The lie rolled off your tongue as if it were nothing. Isaac did not move from his place in the doorway. You knew he knew that you couldn’t sleep. It was evident in your appearance, your red eyes with dark bags beneath them that looked more like bruises with every passing day. The soft footsteps he could hear pacing around the house at night when you were too restless to sit down. He would be a lousy private investigator if he had not noticed your insomnia coming back in full force.

“I—” he said into the silence, making you look towards him.

“It is rather late,” you answered, trying to discourage Isaac from starting any conversation. In truth, it hurt having him near you when he was seemingly an infinity away, hidden behind some brick wall he had put up to keep the world out — you included. 

It was his decision, and after the kiss, or as he called it, a ‘lapse of judgment,’ you did not think it right to push his boundaries after he had so clearly told you and shown you with his actions, that he wanted nothing but a professional relationship with you. It made your heart crack, but you were adamant to give him only what he asked for, only as much as he wanted from you. It made the situation somewhat bearable to know it was what he wanted.

Isaac cleared his throat, stepping further into the room. “I know, but I— It’s just that you—” he stuttered, suddenly nervous at confronting you. “You haven’t been—”

“Well, I certainly am tired,” you said, marking the book to set it on the small table beside the couch and rising from your comfortable cocoon to fold the blanket neatly and place it over the back of the couch.

“Wait, I—”

“Good night then, boss.” You brushed past him and kept walking towards the door, but a hand on your wrist stopped you. “Don’t forget to turn off the light,” you said, fighting against the urge to lean into Isaac’s light touch. It wasn’t professional. That was not what he wanted. There was nothing between you.

“Don’t call me that, Pickle,” he said quietly, his thumb tracing small circles against your wrist. “I haven’t been— Our relationship has not been strictly business for a while now. It never was to begin with.”

“I thought that was what you wanted out of me,” you answered, unable to keep your voice from breaking as Isaac raised your hand to his lips, softly kissing the back of your hand. “You said—”

“I was wrong,” he said quickly, his eyes so earnest that you could not help but believe him, “I was scared that I would get too close to you after the kiss and then you would— you would leave me and— I don’t think I can go through that again, losing a person I love.”

At Isaac‘s words, something within you broke.

Tears began welling up in your eyes and you stepped closer to wrap your arms around him in a tight embrace, which he returned immediately. It felt so good to have him close to you again, his fingers running soothingly along your back as you could feel his elevated heartbeat pounding in his chest.

“You love me?” 

Isaac swallowed, squeezing you tighter and pulling you even closer to him as he steeled himself. “I do,” he said shakily, but the truth of his words was evident in the underlying confidence with which he delivered them, “and I’m sorry I made you doubt that. I’m sorry I pushed you away and dismissed our relationship as a mere work association when it has always been more than that. I— I was scared and I didn’t know what to do after you— after what you did for me and—“

You leaned back enough to meet his gaze. “Can I kiss you?” you asked, longing to do it properly this time, wanting to erase the bitter taste of rejection that had accompanied the feeling of Isaac’s lips on yours.

“Please,” he whispered, inclining his head as you moved to meet his lips.

Suffice it to say, with Isaac lying next to you in his soft double bed — him pulling you close and whispering sweet nothings into the darkness of night as your head rested on his chest and his arms were securely wrapped around you — you fell asleep almost immediately.

Isaac smiled, placing a kiss against the top of your head as he listened to your breathing even out.

now that christmas is over,

fuck all three of these characters they make me throw up inside my mouth

Tired Smoking

Following your boss bad habit

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A day off.

It’s been a few weeks after Vic’s dead and Isaac is finally starting to be like himself again. The smell of cigarettes is gone as also empty bottles of whisky staking on the kitchen table.

But you, yourself seem to drift of more from yourself. But lucky you have a day of tomorrow since Isaac wanted prepare the garden for the season change.

It’s 2 am and as you enjoyed your own company since Isaac was not around. You had a great time though watching movies, a nice cup of tea, sweets, reading in your room and following your own hobbies.

Since you planned on staying up all night you decided to grab a few sweets to look up to the sky. It’s strangely something you find to enjoy after you got here… well rather brought here.

On your way to the kitchen and back. Passing the living room. You assumed Isaac was asleep since there are no lights on in the studies nor anywhere else, still it gave you a reason to be extra quiet.

You couldn’t help yourself but smile as you think of him… but he seems so distance. You knew why but still gave it your all… asking him what his favorite fruits are so you could do a cake out of it… what his favorite dish is… favorite tea… and favorite sweets. He appreciated your comfort but it didn’t do much… and you just reminded yourself of what you got yourself into. You snap back to reality standing in the living-room. You sigh as you spot a package of cigarettes on the sofa. He probably forgot them but you had this urge to smoke even though you hated them and never smoked in your life… staying 10m away after he had his cigarette break because the smell was EW !!!

You grab the package and it was already half empty… next to it the lighter and it was blue … like the color of his mothers favorite flower… „blue orchids“ what a surprise. You took one out and told yourself that if it helps Isaac to forget it will help you too.

A small light appears in the dark room, bringing it closer to your mouth as a quiet “psh” sound tickels your ears. A small inhale and coughs leaving your lungs as you cover your mouth to stay quiet… it feels DISGUSTING !!! you did it again but less coughing.

Now you’re on the floor of the living-room smoking as eating the candy’s as you look up to the sky… the stars are beautiful. Thinking about your life, the cases, your work, the moments the two of your shared and ofc.. him. The cigarette slowly loses fire but you inhale it one more time.

As suddenly the lights turn on… the window reflecting a tall figure. oh oh

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OMG HEY I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD DO THIS BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY… ITS MY FIRST TIME WRITING ANYTHING SO PLEASE BE NICE !!! So I wanted to start easy more a listener view since yk I thought it would be interesting