I Got Better. I'm Gonna Post A New Chapter? No. I'm Going To Do More Random Scenarios With A Head-canon

fuck it homebrew boop button. reblog this post to boop the person you reblogged from.

Me trying to beat the messy artist accusations

My really small art corner:

At this point I'm just using my tumblr as a personal diary when I have nothing to post.

Playing Uno during school break with friends (this was in the morning, I just didn't remember to post earlier)

Note: Everyone was comfortable with me posting the photo and I am taking it down, so I'm not in the photo.

ScreenRant

Cursed: What Happened Next To Nimue In The Book

Nimue's story didn't end with Cursed season 1.

Well... It's 2024 and still no news about the book sequel...

Oh Lancelot, loved by the king, loved by the queen

Another Arthuriana idea I had for a while. Guinevere design is much inspired by William de Leftwich Dodge illustration

Thanks for the tag @lancedoncrimsonwings! tagging @dinogod @warlocklawyer666 @the-tav3rn-0wner @moyavince

1 - What's the origin of your blog title?

First my username was "Vaquinha-de-cogumeinhos" which traduces to "Lil-murshrooms-calf" inspired by my obcession with minecraft and murshrooms when i was 11, but then i changed to "beginning-writer" cause i figured to use a more straight away and inglish username in an INGLISH PLATAFORM would make it easier for people to understand what my blog was for and to write when tagged.

2 - OTP(s) + their shipname

Lancewain; Lancelot x Gawain (weeping monk and green knight, and also in the original literature. They fucking gay in a glass closet fucking eachother. Sorry not sorry.)

Bigheart (i don't know if they have a shipname i just call them like that); Lancelot x Galehaut (Arthurian Literature)

StrechedHeart; Lancelot x Galehaut x Gawain (this one is from my own universe with them, but still, why not, right? Again Arthurian literature)

Odypen; Odysseus x Penelope (The odyssey and epic - the musical)

Sharpwolf; Telemachus x Antinous (just the epic musical and do not ask me why i ship them, just yes.)

Scisaac; Scott x Isaac and Sterek; Derek x Stiles. (teen wolf)

Milovier; Milo x Olivier (Ordem paranormal or Paranormal Order, Celbit RPG)

3 - favourite color?

Pink, Yellow and red

4 - Favourite game(s)?

Minecraft, Hollow knight, five night ta freddy's (but just until the 6th one), Mario Bros, Sonic, Midnight club, God of war, and some more i forgot how to write in inglish.

5 - What song is currently stuck on your Head?

Beat It! by Michael Jackson

6 - Weirdest habit/trait?

I can't sit properly in a chair. You'll see me with butterfly feathers, with my knees against my chest, one knee supporting my chin and the other butterfly, sitting like a hen hatching egg, with my butt on the edge of the chair and my legs stretched out or with my torso lying on the table and my butt correctly filling the right space. But you will NEVER see me sitting correctly in a chair even in public.

6 - hobbies

Drawing, dancing, painting, acting, writing, currently crafts, sewing. Anything artistic really, I'm practically a craftswoman at this point.

7 - If you work, what's your profession?

No work

8 - If you could have any job you wish, what would It be? Realistically?

✨Acting✨. Being an actress has been my permanent dream since I was 12. I know the difficulties and how nothing is perfect, but even so, it continues to be my dream job.

9 - something you're good at

Arts. Basically in all my hobbies. And also in history cause i love throwing random facts at people

10 - something you're bad at

Math. And anything related to exact sciences. And for some reason I'm also terrible at finding my way around with directions and streets using their names. Like, don't give me the name of the street, just give me the damn known reference on it!

11 - Something you love

One of my gods ☀️Apollo☀️, and so far the only one. Me, because loving yourself is important and I do it very well. My boyfriend. My dog. Arts and Daniel Sharman because I love all the roles he plays and how random is all I find of him around.

12 - Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff

Literally anything, I talk a LOT and very fast. But especially drawings. Or animals! Literally anything as you can see.

13 - Something you hate.

MATH. And Intolerant and homophobic people who keep talking about me. Please don't talk about my religion or sexuality. I'll cry 🥺

14 - something you ✨collect✨

The seal on soda or beer cans

15 - something you forget😓

All my schoolwork and I only hear about it again the day before I hand it in.

16 - What's your love linguage?

Handmade gifts and physical touch. And words of affirmation every now and then.

17 - Favourite move/show

I can't just decide One, but i'm going with Cursed and Ordem paranormal.

18 - Favourite food

The pepperoni lasagna that my dad makes and the snowy banana pizza.

19 - Favourite animal

Sharks, dogs and horses, and of course reptiles. Don't make me choose a reptile, I can't.

20 - How where you like as a child?

Lively and, oddly enough, i over talked a lot and was studious. But i was also kind of lonely since I was the only girl on the street where I lived.

21 - Favourite subject at school

History and English

22 - Least favourite subject

Mathematics, chemistry, physics and biology.

23 - What's your ✨best✨ character trait?

I am an adaptable and cultured person. Alternative? I know. Nerd? RPG and anime are my area. Intelligent? Learning and teaching is my thing. Artistic? I am too. My culture is so explored by me that I simply fit into everything and speak to everyone. I adapt and gather everyone.

24 - What's your worst character trait?

I am disorganized and stubborn. But I have an ✨organized disorganization✨, I know where everything is and it is perfectly fine that way. And my stubborn head has always been a problem, but I am trying to improve.

25 - If your could change any detail in your life right now, whit would It be?

My mental disorganization. This is a vicious cycle problem, if I don't help my mental health my grades drop, but if I care about my grades my mental health drops. I'm undergoing treatment to try to balance this out, but it's been the biggest challenge of the last two years. I just want to speed up the process and get rid of it once and for all.

26 - If your could travel in time, who would you like to meet?

My grandparents. I only knew my maternal grandfather, I wish I had known my maternal grandmother and my two paternal grandpatents. All three of them died before I was born and everyone always talks about how cool they were. I wish I could have met them.

Get to know your mutuals Game

Oooohh thank you for the tag @holy3cake

No pressure tagging @gwalch-mei @beginning-writer + OPEN TAG FOR ALL to answer these 27 random questions, I'll put a blank version in the comments!

What's the origin of your blog title?

Originally, "OnCrimsonWings" is my Ao3 username, which was a poetic kinda reference to Dante from Devil May Cry because his demon form has red wings. When I made this blog I knew I wanted it to include a reference to Lancelot/The Weeping Monk, so I just added "Lanced" to the Ao3 name.

It works on so many levels- as I also like winged Whumpees as a trope in general, and the name to me brings an image of a winged creature or person pinned by something sharp through the wing. It also works more as a poetic angel metaphor for Lancelot, as he's referred to as a dark/avenging angel in the role he's been molded into by the Church in Cursed, a role which is ultimately his downfall, like a fallen angel with crimson, or bloodied wings...

OTP(s) + Their shipname;

Lancewain; Lancelot (The Weeping Monk) x Gawain (The Green Knight) from Cursed

Melvik; Mel x Viktor from Arcane (also Jayvik; Jayce x Viktor, and Meljayvik; Mel x Jayce x Viktor)

Zaundads/Vanco; Vander x Silco from Arcane

BuckyNat/WinterWidow; Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow) x Bucky Barnes (The Winter Soldier) Marvel

Gwaenyra (Gwayne x Rhaenyra; House of the Dragon)

Colonel Everett Young x Dr. Nicholas Rush; Stargate Universe - I actually never really saw a shipname for these guys or I've forgotten it if I did know one

There's a bunch of others but that will do for now lmao

Favourite colour?

Purple!

Favourite game/s?

The Witcher 3, Skyrim, currently enjoying Monster Hunter, though the thing I have most hours in might actually be Fall Guys...

What song is currently stuck in your head?

In Maidjan by Heilung, I'm excited to see them live again soon!

Weirdest habit/trait?

I sit like a goblin in any and all chairs. (Except for when I'm physically tattooing, or in a formal meeting. Otherwise? If there is a chair I will be perched on it like a bisexual ass Goblin 100% of the time).

Uhhh and I can bend the first knuckle (closest to the fingertips) on my fingers whilst keeping the second/middle knuckles perfectly straight/locked.

Hobbies:

Playing piano, making cosplays, making chainmail, listening to music, playing D&D, keeping snakes and also doing Archery, as of late!

If you work, what's your profession?

Tattooing- for the next two weeks anyway. I also volunteer at my local zoo and do commission pet portraits!

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Realistically?

Tattooing but at a studio with a working toilet, repaired roof and decent non falling apart floors, where I am NOT the sole member of the studio 😂

Otherwise, doing something arty like making things or running my small buisness full time. Or if all goes well with this insane Uni plan I have, then working with snakes in some way shape or form. Not sure how, yet but. I dunno, it might be cool.

Something you're good at:

I'm a really creative person and I come up with a lot of really cool ideas!

Something you're bad at:

Maths, I mean I just struggle with numbers in general. And telling my left from right 😂

Something you love: 

Daniel Sharman. I mean. Look at him man's stunning

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: 

Snakes! And I did that when I took the snakes in to Scouts and taught them about snakes with not much prep time at all 😂

Something you hate:

People trying to control other people or put their views on them. (Eg. Very religious people that try and force you to believe their religion. Or Antis that hate on a fictional trope or ship or theme and think no one is allowed to read or write it. That sort of thing)

Something you collect: 

Books! I have several hundered, at this point, and that's after having to bin about 300 due to severe damp in a previous house.

Something you forget: 

I dunno. I forgot

What's your love language?

Giving gifts, I think, but I also like touching/leaning on people who I love (only when my skin doesn't feel bruised, which is basically always, and honestly most of the time I'm touch averse lmao). I'm not really sure.

Favourite movie/show: 

Movie; Labyrinth, Lost Boys, Avatar I & Avatar II: the way of water, LOTR Trilogy

Show; Arcane, The Witcher and Cursed

Favourite food:

I really like homemade stew and mash, but I can't make it (thanks fatigue) so I haven't actually had it in years. I love roasties (roasted potatoes) with copious amounts of butter on.

Favourite animal:

Snakes! Specifically I love Dumeril's Boas, Madagascan Ground Boas- and have one of each myself- and I have a soft spot for Boelen's Pythons and European Adders!

What were you like as a child? 

Always daydreaming in my own little world, shy, but also I had anger issues at the age of 4... so a bit of a shitbag lmao.

Favourite subject at school?

Art or Science, though I also liked music!

Least favourite subject: 

Maths. I always used to get yelled at for refusing to do homework, and for drawing in my book and putting my headphones in to listen to music. (It was actually helping me focus, but the fact I had ADHD was completely missed so I just got yelled at for it. I still got a B in my GCSEs though so fuck em!)

What's your best character trait?

I'm incredibly organised (because if I wasn't my life would be an absolute shambles as my memory is shit), and I'm very good at problem solving! If character trait more means "personality" then it would probably be that I am a very caring person.

What's your worst character trait?

I can be very stubborn and headstrong paired with the fact I am a control freak and like things organised, then that tends to frustrate both the people around me and myself...

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?

I'd cure my disabilities. Just so I could continue tattooing and take on the studio- or just open my own elsewhere, or I'd go get a career out in the field with snakes and not have to worry about fatigue, collapse, pain or dietary issues wherever I went!

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?

Chester Bennington, 100%. I miss him. It's one of the biggest regrets of my life that I was meant to go and see him live on that final tour and I couldn't afford the tickets thanks to an unexpected bill. He was, and still is my hero.

So i couldn't quite sleep, so i did some Lancewain hadcanons. But noting too much.

Lancelot likes to be the little spoon cause he feels safe and protected, but he also let's Gawain be the little spoon when he has a tiring day.

Also, Lancelot sleeps in the position with his leg hooked up. And slowly curls up into a ball everytime he has a nightmare, which is pretty often, and Gawain hugs him over since the beggining of the sleep, which esses Lancelot's nightmares.

Gawain loves to hug Lancelot from behind, cause, plus teaching him that not everything that comes from behind is a threat, he can smell Lancelot's hair and rest his face on his shoulder (the Gawain's actor is just one centimeter taller than Lancelot's actor in the series so that's easy.)

Lancelot, despite still having his guard up against anything that comes from behind, can smell Gawain from miles away and know when he's coming to hug him from behind and he lets it because he likes being hugged by him. It makes him feel safe because Gawain has strong arms and hugs him tightly. Gawain doesn't know any of this.

Gawain is a almost-bear type body and I won't go into detail about that.

Gringolet and Goliath meet and even with Gringolet's violent tendencies, they get along incredibly well. This was probably the first sign Squirrel read about how he was going to get two fathers by the end of the year.

Squirrel read the signs of their relationship before they did. Like that quote "How long have they been in love?" "Shh, They don't know." "What do you mean they don't know?!"

Lancelot has a tendency to self-harm with his own body - wounds made by nails and teeth - and Gawain has to help him to heal it. Lancelot always feels guilty and looks like a kicked pup, Gawain reassures and gives him love and tight hugs.

Squirrel was terrified when he discovered that Lancelot used knives to self-harm himself and since then Lancelot stopped using knives to do this and started using his own body. Gawain didn't approve and Squirrel started keeping an eye on him but at least he didn't cut himself anymore.

Gawain taught Pym to be a real healer after he heard about what happend in the Red Spear, as he himself was a healer. Lancelot saw the way they were intimate and how he taught everything to her and thought they were dating. When Pym found out she laughed her ass out and explained that they were like siblings and had nothing like that between them, since then it became an inner joke between them.

Every time Lancelot gets too much angry he speaks with a french accent or actually starts speaking french/mother language around the house. Gawain thinks that's hot but doesn't dare say it to him.

The first time that Lancelot's anger doesn't go away, Gawain shamelessly flirts with him, thinking that this will ease him a little, as happened with his former partners, actually Lancelot pins him against the nearest surface or just grabs him by the shoulder and takes him to the room and "takes control". Gawain thinks twice before doing that again now.

Lancelot learned to cook well to survive, so he cooks for Gawain and the others as a form of affection. "Let's make food together. (I'm the only one who cooks, you look cute in the corner. You don't know how to cook. Don't mess with my food.)"

@lancedoncrimsonwings

Maybe i'll do more after i finally get some sleep.

*Throw Lancelot homosexually thinking about Gawain at you and run.*

It’d been a month since NightPearl had adopted Lancelot as it’s mother. He didn't mind at all, in fact he found the little dragon adorable. It would sneak anywhere it could find, and its favorite place was his lap. The only problem was when it brought a dead rabbit in the tent and he had to throw it away, but other than that it was perfect.

On days like today, when he was lying on his back, NightPearl would come and sprawl on his chest, enjoying every fraction of Lancelot's natural warmth that it could get, while Lancelot caressed its long body and just listened to Squirrel’s nonsense or listened to Gawain's voice. He never really paid attention to what Gawain said, it was usually something boring about what the council was thinking about him or about his wounds, instead he paid attention to his voice, which was much more engaging than what was friendly allowed.

Sometimes Pym would make a joke about how Gawain would be jealous of NightPearl for being able to snuggle into Lancelot's chest while the two of them couldn't even sleep in the same bed. The monk always rolled his eyes and said it didn't make sense, even though his stupid heart beat a little faster every time he heard that. And thank God NightPearl didn't understand what the redhead was saying or it would bite Gawain from head to toe. He and Gawain barely saw each other, nor did they speak to each other properly, since talking was not something that Lancelot was taught to do often. It was not even part of his routine.

The world around Lancelot has never been so calm, and so boring. He was used to leaving very early, around six in the morning, half past six if he was feeling particularly lazy, and going to track the fey by tracks and scents. At ten o'clock he would return to camp and make an oral report of everything achieved, go to the fields to train for two hours, then go for lunch, have lunch, and leave again. After lunch he would go to the already tracked tribes, this time with a group of paladins, and would decimate and burn whatever they found. At sixteen hours he would escape from the rest of the paladins and take a secret bath to remove the excess dirt and blood that bothered his senses and skin. At seventeen o'clock he would be back at church and praying something particularly long, if it were Saturday he would pray a rosary, if it were Sunday he would be at mass. After mass, or pray, there is dinner, but if it were Saturday he would be fasting. Ten or nine o'clock at night he should already be in bed, because it's a few hours before Salt's torture sessions start and he would at least get a good rest if he slept earlier.

There is nothing in his routine about talking to anyone, except about reports and prayer, but only because it was part of his job and he should always seek God daily.

But now, with the fey, his entire meticulously memorized routine were thrown into the fifth of hells. Now his routine consisted of: Waking up, being forced by Gawain to eat breakfast followed by a lecture on why it’s important to eat every meal, then listening to Squirrel tell a story, lunch, Polly, actually now Pym, coming to check on his injuries. And now Pym stayed and told him about something that happened while she was with the Raiders or some new gossip at camp, which is strangely interesting. Squirrel arrives again, tells ‘em about his day. Gawain arrives with dinner for everyone, they talk and Lancelot is grateful for not being included, gods know how much he hates interacting while eating. Dinner ends, Pym and Squirrel go somewhere else, Gawain stays and cleans his injuries. They don't say anything, just stand there in the only alone moment they have. Gawain slowly cleans his broken skin with a wet cloth, his body closer than he had ever let any man or woman get close to him, he could hear his breathing behind him, The drops of water running down his back make him shiver, and he could feel Gawain's intense gaze on him the entire time. His careful hands went all over the length of his back before slowly pulling away. Gawain pulls away and tells Lancelot that it is ten o'clock, his usual bedtime. Lancelot turns and covers himself with the sheet that Squirrel stole for him on the first day, but that doesn't stop him from faintly hearing the other man change his clothes on the other side of the tent. The boots being thrown away, the shirt being taken off and discarded, the belt being left aside, the pants coming down his legs, as well as the new pants being put on, but no sound of the shirt being put on, Gawain did not sleep with his shirt on, and finally the sound of him laying down on the mattress and covering himself. He listens to every movement every night. Not that he was a pervert, he just had no option.

Now, NightPearl always comes and snuggles up to him, which makes his heart progressively slow down. God, what kind of demon did he come to live with to leave him like this? He would embarrass himself by the end of the year at this rate. Damn Gawain for having sounds so- NO! He couldn't think that! They are just tentmates, nothing more. Lancelot would curse Venus and Cupid before going to sleep, they are two motherfuckers for doing this to him.

 And on his worst days, Lancelot would have an unwanted dream about those sounds. But the gods know he would rather cut his own tongue out than say that to anyone.

for data: Venus=Aphrodite; Cupid=Eros.

@lancedoncrimsonwings @dinogod

Unfortunately this is a rant because I don't have anyone to turn to when this happens.

My mother is not a crazy woman or often abusive, she's controlling but nothing much futher beyond that, but some times she has crises and it's always with me.

I always keep my bedroom door closed for my own safety, because I don't feel safe enough in my own home to keep it open. This wouldn't be a problem if my mother didn't blow up at me. She often yells and bangs on the door really hard when she's mad at me, and that's a huge problem.

Today she needed my documents to register for something, I listened to her the first few times, but I tried to ignore her so she would go away. She didn't leave. She banged harder on the door and screamed louder, and yelled threats at me. Saying he was going to break down the door and hit me.

I tried to ignore it again, but the screaming and banging were so loud that I cowered in my bed and covered my ears with my hands. I literally shook and cried with fear. I was so scared that I couldn't get out of bed to get the damn documents.

I contacted my friend so that I would have someone with me and know what happened to me if the worst case scenario happened. I really panicked, to the point of wanting to talk to God or the gods, but then I remembered that I didn't worship the gods and that I had angry towards Christian god. Nothing really big, but it's a moral of mine that I shouldn't benefit or contact god or gods only when it suits me. So I felt trapped in my own hole.

At some point I managed to gather enough strength to go to the drawer and get the documents to slip them under the door. It was torture. I was breathing heavily and panting with tears streaming down my face and my body was very weak. I had to crawl all the way to the end to pass the documents. My room is not big, less than ten square meters probably. That's how much fear affected me. Fear of my own mother.

I've stopped shaking and crying, I'm no longer in a state of panic, but my mind is still stuck in a state of alert. Every time I hear footsteps coming from the stairs I freeze, thinking it might be my mother and that I'll be greeted with more screams and threats. My heart is still tight and every movement I hear it leaves me on full alert, especially her voice.

Her voice makes me panic and want to cry again. It doesn't matter if it's directed at me or not.

Do you have any idea what it's like for a person to fear their own mother's voice? The person who should love and protect them, leaves them trembling and cowering, afraid of just her signal. As if the just air she breathed were thorns in your lungs... This is worrying. And what's more worrying is knowing that you don't have anyone in your family or outside to trust to be with you at these times. Because that role should belong to your mother. But she failed to fulfill the minimum of that role.

I wish this was just another whump in disguise, but no, this is a real occurrence of mine.

12/26/2024

I survived the day with four hours of sleep, a bottle of water, two cookies, a piece of cake and a piece of meat. Ps: No lunch or breakfast.

How am I alive these days after New Year's? Only the gods know.