I've been able to get past it for the most part since I've been doing my placement and not getting the chance to dwell or ruminate much. Now that my schedule is slowing down and placement is ending, I have more time in the day to be preyed upon by myself. Fuck yeeeeaaaaaah
When I say there are some days where I dont even get the opportunity to fuck my morning up, that the first thought of the day can be either a trigger to worse thoughts or something my unconscious vomited into the conscious sphere first opportunity it gets, I'm not kidding.
I have not had a consistent, unbroken, healthy sleep schedule since I got COVID on my birthday last year. I'm seeing the sun rise again and all I wanna do is cry and scream and choke myself out
My bf is currently worrying about mystery money transfers out of his account into some random other bank account we are not familiar with. It doesn't affect our finances, more so his personal spending. Still concerning.
Why is it that I'm still suddenly a little kid freaking out that someone around me is upset and I have to fix it because the distress of other people is unsafe? Wack
I can provide him emotional and practical support but beyond that it is not my problem to solve. It is not my responsibility to fix.
(he's not asking or even expecting me to fix this problem, he's organising it all. I'm just built traumatised)
One of the worst things about being codependent is having to remind yourself over and over again the inherent healthy separation between Self and Other
Was talking with a friend about all this and we have concluded that if karmic debt is a thing than all my past lives have wikipedia pages
In the gay sex dungeon doing my crossword with a coffee, occasionally looking up with mild interest
Reading Lolita for the first time and I think I remember you saying it’s a proto-true crime novel. Def see what you’re saying since HH is literally defending himself to the reader/jury … excited to see where Nabokov will take this / subvert it
top 10 novel of all time imo
ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to go missing
First off, spin this wheel.
You just landed on one of 200 fandoms that have been very popular somewhere on Tumblr over the years. Topics were chosen either from appearing on a @fandom end-of-year recap or from my own long (long, long) site memories before that.
also all of these fandoms are definitely things that really exist in the real world and none of them are Tumblr creations
the kind of people who make it an entire part of their personality that they're "kind" are always the people who do the most heinous abusive shit to you and they can never acknowledge it because to do so would go against their self conception of themselves as ontologically good people. they're always people who have like "be kind <3 just trying to make my way through the world as a little sunflower <3" as their bio or whatever and they're always the same people who will do shit like unperson someone over the most casual interpersonal conflicts. also they are almost always remarkably racist liberals.