Was Talking With A Friend About All This And We Have Concluded That If Karmic Debt Is A Thing Than All

You've gotta be fucking kidding me

I've been able to get past it for the most part since I've been doing my placement and not getting the chance to dwell or ruminate much. Now that my schedule is slowing down and placement is ending, I have more time in the day to be preyed upon by myself. Fuck yeeeeaaaaaah

When I say there are some days where I dont even get the opportunity to fuck my morning up, that the first thought of the day can be either a trigger to worse thoughts or something my unconscious vomited into the conscious sphere first opportunity it gets, I'm not kidding.

the kind of people who make it an entire part of their personality that they're "kind" are always the people who do the most heinous abusive shit to you and they can never acknowledge it because to do so would go against their self conception of themselves as ontologically good people. they're always people who have like "be kind <3 just trying to make my way through the world as a little sunflower <3" as their bio or whatever and they're always the same people who will do shit like unperson someone over the most casual interpersonal conflicts. also they are almost always remarkably racist liberals.

i find it funny that conservatives try to paint me calling for the death and destruction of multi-billionaire CEOs as some radical "woke liberal" standpoint. as if that even has anything to do with politics, especially in this era of surface level circus politics. the same way they try to politicize the hurricanes or the wildfires destroying parts of america, as if climate change is somehow a red vs. blue issue. it's no secret i'm from a deeply conservative family in the sticks of florida and i still grew up hearing "i fought the law and the law won". the healthcare system has fucked each and every member of my family in a different way at one point or another, as is the case with pretty much every family in this scorched earth nation. remember when country music, the genre currently associated the heaviest with the most conservative faction of america, used to be staunchly anti-government and about sticking it to the man? remember when the coal miners, grandfathers to the "trump-er hillbillies" of appalachia that everyone loves to write off as ignorant, fought tooth and nail for unionization because the companies that were built off their labor didn't give a shit if they lived or died? since when has "upholding traditional values" gone hand in hand with... defending lawmakers and oil tycoons. my family and i complain about the same issues at the dinner table. the men in charge better hope they can keep their digital smokescreens running as long as they can because the moment the rednecks and the hippies lay down their swords long enough to realize they have the same enemy, all hell is gonna break loose.

I had to

watching yt essays on oyasumi punpun and watching punpun's mindset be described as fundamentalist has clicked something in place deep within me

Best thing about finishing my student placement: can finally go back to work and chill a lil

Worst thing about finishing my student placement: can't use "I'm in jail sorry" as an excuse for missing phone calls

the life I’ve chosen to live