Batsdapenguin101 - Land Of Utter Bullshit

Ludinus: why are you here?

Orym: BECAUSE I DON’T FUCKING LIKE YOU

Lmao Bane got jumped by three gods

They crave violence

I finished them all!

I wish you would write a fic where Percy and Vex need to get warm.

Do with that what you will. (It is effing cold here so it’s on my mind) lol

This welcome has been, so nice and warm

900+ words | Gen | Perc'ahlia | TLOVM s3 and C1 compliant, set in the 1-year timeskip.

I wish you would write a fic where... prompt game

EDIT: Now cleaned up and on AO3!

--

Vex loves Percy. I mean, it’s a simple, straightforward fact. So much of him is reflected in Whitestone that it’s impossible not to love the city too. 

She might just love it a bit less right now, though. Apparently something about turning Whitestone into a necromancer's paradise impacted weather patterns (guess it’s hard to raise undead in frozen ground?) - because Percy remarked, during Winter’s Crest last year, that it was an unusually balmy winter.

This one is not unusually balmy. It’s cold. It’s skin-prickling, hair-frosting, finger-tingling fucking oppressively cold. 

Vex never knew it was even possible to be too cold for snow. But she’s definitely fucking familiar with the concept now!

It sure doesn’t feel like the Dawnfather smiles on her when the dawn was several hours late, and she woke up to several feet of snow, and to have any hope of catching anything she had to leave her very cozy bed and even cozier Percy.

Another thing to hate about this weather? Dressing up. Gone are the days of throwing on boots and bounding off for a hunt. She needs not one but two hosen on her legs, and a sweater and a jacket and a cloak on top, and gloves, and big huge boots that make her feel like the clumsiest thing in the whole fucking Alabaster Sierras if the rest of the outfit didn’t already accomplish that.

And a hat. A knit, tight hat that she has to drag over her ears or the points will freeze. It feels like she’s going deaf when she wears the thing.

After several hours of vigil in a tree - a third of them taken before sunrise when even that couldn’t warm her - Vex finally just gave up and trekked home. Because even for the Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt there was only so long she could fight off shivers to stay still. And feel every breath sharply. And watch her scarf and fur collar and stray strands of her own fucking hair slowly prickle with frost. 

She must have frostbite. Even if her magic doesn’t seem to catch on any damage. She’ll get inside, take off her gloves, and see that her fingers are black and falling off and Pike will have to leave the bakery to put them back on.

Not like she has any use for those stupid fingers; they’re stiff with cold, and she doesn’t have any game to haul back.

Everything sucks even more knowing she - don’t forget, the Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt - didn’t even hunt anything. Not even a rabbit, or a turkey, or a glimpse of that Grey Render. Funny thing: the wildlife has the sense not to be out in this weather, even if she doesn’t.

(The worst part is that Trinket, for the first time in his whole life, has decided to hibernate. Because the Parchwood is the sort of place bears want nothing to do with when the days start to shorten. And it means that Vax is in Zephrah, where it never snows, and Trinket is soundly sleeping in the warmest part of her mansion, and Vex is out here alone.)

(It means there’s less body heat to keep her warm out here. Of course.)

Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt who sucks at hunting in the Parchwood for a third of the year. It’s times like these where she’s really giddy the mansion was completed not long after the first frost; she can avoid the (surely super judgemental) stares of the townsfolk.

She just… has to fight through knee-high snow to get back. Or awkwardly step through the tracks she left in the morning. Or test the thin sheet of ice on the top of the snow, make it a few strides before crashing through. And no matter what she does her socks end up cold and wet!

By the time the lights are in sight she’s exhausted, and sweaty, and pissed, and really itching to kill something. And above all else, freezing. It’s almost enough to dull the ire - almost.

A petty part of her heart hisses that she never, ever should have fallen in love with a clever, thoughtful, nerdy, proud, cynical, and extremely sexy man who happens to live where it gets fuckoff cold for a solid third of the year.

Except as she trudges closer, she can see his silhouette in the window. And the moment that interruption in the light jerk upright because he’s seen her, too.

Except he leaves that warm, cozy home they’ve made to meet her outside with his coat and slippers. And he kisses her burning cheek and steals her hunting gear and rambles about some idle nothing - and notes he’s got hot chocolate on the stove. 

Except once they’re in the mudroom, and her cold skin prickles at how balmy it is in here, he’s taking her hands and warming them in his. And he’s taking off her boots and grimacing in sympathy at the packed snow and agreeing it’s awful out there, she’s entirely correct, and he’ll be sure to have those poor cold feet in his lap as soon as possible. Yes, by the fire, of course, he’s not a madman.

Except he’s so delighted to have her back, so happy to have an excuse to pamper her. And Percy, with an impish delight, cocoons her in thick blankets and tugs her along to the little nest he’s made by the hearth. And Vex, impossibly, falls a little more in love with him every time he leads her through this dance.

Because Percy, as a man of fuckoff-cold Whitestone, has getting warm down to a science, and Vex can almost forget she was ever cold in the first place.

(She has her own thoughts on how two lovers could warm eachother up, of course - but she did fall in love with a clever man.)

"Whitestone Endures..."

HAPPY SATURDAY I CAN'T BELIEVE I'VE DONE THIS!!! And it's not DONE done, not yet. I still need to make the armor, but the clothes are pretty much done and I am THRILLED! I got so excited to finish this because it reminds me of when I first started cosplaying. I bought the accessories, but I am not a seamstress so I thrifted/found the clothes and painted the jacket for this.

When I wanted to cosplay Neon Katt and Nora Valkyrie from RWBY back in 2017/2018, buying the costumes outright wasn't really an option so I had to buy/find regular clothes and alter them. I still don't OFTEN outright buy full costumes and even more rarely do I use EVERY piece of a bought costume, unaltered, but getting together a bunch of unrelated pieces and making them a cohesive costume just feels like so much more of an accomplishment to me! So I'm thrilled I got to do this like this! I found the white jacket at the thrift store for LITERALLY a dollar and painted the collar and then a friend sent me the blue dress because she ended up not using it for level 13 Imogen.

The armor is NOT going to be quite this simple but I have a bit of a plan and we'll see how it works out! I'm also starting on Level 20 Percy for my fiance so HOPEFULLY Lord and Lady de Rolo will be out and about for Anime Frontier! (Why so late in the year? Well, you'll see 👀🤫)

I've got the feeling the party will have a lot more sympathy for the Matron, she's clearly in for it more than just her own life. She's probably the only deity i would have stay on exandria if i could

How each of the conversations with the Betrayers will go:

(editing post cuz i forgot about the Ruiner lmao)

Tharizdun: *incomprehensible eldritch black hole noises*

Asmodeus: lmao no.

Bane: so you're telling me i could do the exact same thing i was doing before but as a mortal? ...oh hey those hobgoblin guys look interesting!

Torog: SO you're telling me i could live full lives without this pain that's been plaguing me for aeons? Hm...i dunno...wait i can also torture people as a mortal?! I'M IN.

Gruumsh: turns out ya don't really need to be a god to throw giant boulders at people

Zehir: NOBODY CARES WHAT ZEHIR THINKS

Tiamat: i can literally live like any of my mortal chromatic children but better so why not?

Lolth: pay child support.

Vecna: LMAO GET FUCKED OLD BASTARD HOW'S ONLY THIRTY YEARS OF GODHOOD FEELS BITCH?

Puppet Bill Update!

Oh boy is he lookin spooky

Here’s a demo of his movement. I might tweak it a little now and then.

He needs his limbs soon so I’ll have to get on that (he keeps looking at his book should I be worried?)

As always feel free to tag along for more updates!

Batoctober day one 🤧🤧. I don't know, I could think of anything other than the bastard Batman Who Laughs.

Honestly? I haven't taken a drawing "seriously" for a year or two.

Credits to @dariapencommissions they is the one who created the event.

So, day one complete !

Emps after all the Primarchs turned out autistic: I honeslty have no idea where they get it from!

Malcador, who lived with him for millennia and watched him work a gold eagle motif into everything he owns, shapeshift himself to be tall so he looks down at people instead of having to make eye contact, and be utterly socially inept: Me neither.