The Batkids Love “Uncle Ollie” Because He’s The Cool Uncle Who Comes Over And Randomly Throws Things

Y’all. You guys. I’m sobbing over this lyric from I can’t help but wonder

“Used to say I’d capture wind and sky for you”

Because like. HE LITERALLY DID! HE CAPTURED A STORM & HARNESSED THE WINDS THEMSELVES TO GET BACK HOME! I AM FUCKING ILL

honestly the more i think about Hal as an often homeless, broke, frequently unemployed, felon who’s constantly five bad days away from a mental breakdown the less funny jokes about him being constantly belittled and bullied by the multi billionaire personally funding the justice league really are.

I want you all to appreciate the effort I put in to refining my Cassandra Cain thoughts into something vaguely coherent because most of the time when I think too long about her it sorta devolves into me blubbering like a baby on the floor and mumbling something like "ooooooooh she just... she just cares so fucking much... so deeply mannn."

when ignoring how fucked up it is, its a wee bit funny to me that steph was the most ethically responsible robin and then the one that bruce treated the worst.

because dick was like 10 when he became robin, what the fuck were you doing making a ten yo go fight crime? plus he was under bruce's care which is like a massive thing of coercion and power dynamics.

jason had like NEGATIVE reason to be robin, he just needed to have a home and therapy probably

tim didnt want to be robin he just thought that batman needed one. and after getting adopted there is once again the issue of being under your virtual boss's care

and Oh God Damian. it was technically dick's fault this time but like kid did not have a choice in the way he was raised and shouldve gotten like happy fun learning to be a kid times not violent child soldier times

all of that compared to steph who

was already a vigilante when meeting bruce

voluntarily chose to be a vigilante

was not under bruce's care or guardianship and had a trusted adult

was almost a legal adult herself

had some fighting experience

like BRO in terms of ethics steph is The Best option and then she was treated like absolute Garbage. wild shit.

Imagine this

CW! Green Arrow with COMIC!Justice League where only Bruce and Oliver know each other’s identities because they are best friends.

Anyways, something happens to Anatoly so Oliver steps in for him.

The JL are freaking out, trying to figure out why billionaire playboy CEO Oliver Queen is now leading one of the biggest Russian mafia groups.

Bruce also has no fucking idea but doesn’t care that much because Joker escaped and it’s actually Jason in the suit. He keeps sending his uncle questioning looks because he’s jealous.

Oliver is having the time of his life but also needs to leave in about an hour so he can track down the asshole who but a hit out on one of his best friends and imply it’s okay if someone kills the guy.

He isn’t going to do it himself but he wouldn’t stop them!

I've had a DC x DP prompt/fic idea and I'd thought I'd share.

Danny, who has been dragged into taken over the role of High King, has been going through some of the paperwork that it entails. Of course, he's still baby ghost so CW and the others actually help with most the stuff, but he had some free time after being chased out of his house and injured (it'd been a few months since then).

Either way, he finds a particular line of complaints. He was never one to engage in it, but many of his subject, of which fall under the demon category, are complaining about a soul they can't collect. Danny personally finds it kind of funny. He sets those ones aside for now though, and continues doing whatever.

A few months later, he's summoned via some magic user, probably Klarion, and is now in front of the JL and a tiny wayward chaos maker. In a more eldritch form, he turns to Klarion, who very clearly did not mean to summon him specifically by the way he's panicking and called Teekel back, and just tells him he's grounded.

Thinking thatbwas that after Klarion left, he went back to his castle to do more work...and maybe play with Cujo. Really, Pariah Dark left so much paperwork, he doesn't wanna do all that!

The JL however is now steadfast on finding whatever the fuck that was. Klarion was scared of it, and it seemed more annoyed at being called than concerned about the heroes behind it. So that could be very very bad news.

Danny, after a while, realizes the JL is trying to find out more about him, which makes his life very difficult, fuck you very much, has a wonderfully stupid idea.

Going back to those papers about the soul that can't be collected, he summons a very tired and now spooked british man. One by the name of John Constantine. He wants a deal. More specifically, whatever deals he'd made, those were now the High Kings, and in return for whatever he got out of the deals, he wanted John to help him. All in all, he just got hired by the High King in return for ignoring the equivalent of taxes.

John was very confused, but hey, boy king of there is very chill out of formal settings. And also maybe he's worried about the fact that like a 16 year old is king-

Either way, there deal goes a little something along the lines of;

Danny: Keep the JL off my back, and all your debts are no longer valid and anyone that disagrees can come fight me.

John: ....okay??????

So while Danny got a "I don't wanna deal with this hero!" guy, John got a "I don't wanna deal with this demon!" guy.

Babs has to leave the clocktower for a Birds of Prey emergency and Cass is the only one around so she has to man the comms because Steph is on a mission. Cass is like yeah sure this will be fine Steph and I work great together nowadays.

But it turns out she's the absolute worst kind of backseat driver. She leads Steph on routes that involve 20 foot wide jumps and boos when Steph says she can't make that leap without a grapple. Steph is fighting five assassins at once and Cass is in her ear like

Cass: He has a bad leg go for the leg. Go for the leg. Why aren't you going for the leg just break out of the hold.

Cass: Wait are you stuck. Why are you stuck just dislocate your wrist and you'll be out of that hold. Batgirl can you hear me just snap your wrist. One two three snap.

Cass: Why are you not snapping. Hitting him isn't working. You're not strong enough to break his hold.

Cass: Maybe I should just come and get you. You're not listening to my words. I'll just rescue you.

Cass: Was that fuck off directed at me or the assassins.

Cass: Good you broke his hold. Now go for the leg. THE LEG. WHY ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY YOU CAN TAKE THEM.

Steph once Barbara gets back: Don't ever leave me again. If I ever hear her on your line again I will rip out my earpiece.

Cass once Barbara quizzes her about the incident: I gave super clear instructions. Maybe she was just sick today idk

Green Arrow walks up to Batman in a meeting one day and punches him in the face.

Batman; what was that for?

Green Arrow; pushing me off the swing in 3d grade when it was STILL MY FUCKING TURN!

Batman; that’s what you’re upset about?

Green Arrow; yeah.

Batman; I literally called your mom a wh*re cause she got eaten by lions in front of you.

Green Arrow; well… the swing thing sticks with me more so fuck you.

Green Arrow dramatically storms out of the room while the JL looks at Bats in shock meanwhile Canary is glaring at Batman and Flash fell over laughing.

Bruce watched in amusement as the new hero, Ghost, made fun of Superman. That was until John Constantine came into the room and stared at the hero with wide eyes. He bowed and everyone was thrown off.

John Constantine was a bastard and everyone knew it, he tricked God Himself and made enemies with demons daily, he never showed anyone respect. So why was he being respectful to this random new hero he never met?

“King Phantom. I’ve been searching for you, it’s an honor.” John said and everyone looked between the confused teenager and mage.

“You must have me confused, my name is Ghost and I’m not a King.” He replied warily.

“Ah, they must have done something.” John said before hitting Ghost with a spell.

Ghost gasped and looked frantically at John.

“How bad is it?” He asked hurriedly and with panic.

“They would have slaughtered everyone tomorrow if you weren’t found today. They don’t care about your rules if the King is missing. I held them off for as long as I could but I couldn’t buy much time. You have been gone for 6 months.” John told him and everyone was on alert immediately. “Go, Danny, before it is too late.”

Ghost, no Danny, nodded before opening a portal. He turned around.

“You will be rewarded and I thank you. I truly love these people and would die against to protect them but my kingdom is first. I ask you to disband the GIW of the United States government, they are who took me and sold me off, they are who hurt my people. The Observants will want to speak to you, I will hold them off.” He left and everyone yelled questions at John.

“SHUT UP!” He snapped, more serious than anytime they had seen him before.

“Constantine. What was that?” Bruce demanded, wearing his most menacing glare and growl.

“No Bats, you don’t get to question me right now. I need everything that you have on him. Mission reports, how you found him, everything. If you excuse me I’m going to shut down a government organization.” John turned around and left in a hurry before anymore questions could be asked.

Two days later the news showed that an unknown man single handed took down a fake government organization that was illegally experimenting on ghosts and torturing them. John came back and read through every single file they had and sighed.

“Congratulations. I prevented the end of the universe.” He said lazily.

“Explain.” Bruce demanded.

Zatanna interrupted before John could reply. Her face was pale. “That was Danny Phantom.” She whispered in disbelief.

John only nodded and she fell onto a chair. She looked up at him with panic, ignoring everyone.

“Tell me. Don’t lie. How close were we?” She asked, completely serious.

“5 hours. If I didn’t find him in 5 hours every person on every planet would be slaughtered. They would not be merciful, they would slowly kill us until he was found, and they would not stop there. It would be 10 times worse than anything you can possibly imagine and no one but him could stop them. You were good to him, cared, no harm should come to any of you. I can’t say the same about CADMUS and the GIW.”

“Why didn’t he go back?” She asked. “You said he cares, why would he risk it?”

“His memories were erased, I gave them back but he didn’t know anything except for the last six months, possibly even less.”

“How did you get them to back off for so long?”

“I blackmailed God once, you know.”

“Yes, but every being is more powerful than him, the weakest is possible 3 times as powerful.”

“They respect Him, even if barely, but they do. So they, in turn, respect me. They know of my reputation and accomplishments, know I can somehow get out of anything, they let me have a chance to find him before they released them onto the universe.”

Zatanna thought about it for a couple seconds before nodding and slumping back into the chair.

A neon green sticky note appeared on John’s lap.

‘Thank you for returning our King. He needs guidance in your realm and you will now be considered his father, uncle to the public. Do not tell the mortals anything else.

-CW’

He looked to Zatanna. “Are you mortal?”

“No, technically not.” She responded and he wordlessly passed her the note. “John, I can’t read this. It’s in ghost speak and I have not died.”

“I am the new father/uncle to Danny Phantom. We can’t tell the mortals anything else.” John said and Zatanna chuckled.

“Does this mean Spooky can’t adopt Danny?” Flash asked and Bruce glared at him.

“Not unless he wants to be Ended.” Zatanna replied with amusement and a smile.

This was going to be interesting.

Amnesia AU

An AU where Danny gains amnesia after getting captured by the GIW. He gets saved by the Justice League just after they discover Superboy, trying to find out if any of them have been cloned. When they save Danny they don’t know that he is a ghost or halfa, not that Danny knows that either, and have him join the Young Justice League. He and Superboy become best friends, Danny often messing with Superman for his clonist bullshit on Superboy’s behalf. They become each other’s pillars in a world that is unfamiliar and against them.

So imagine John Constantine’s surprise to find the missing Ghost King, who’s people he has been trying to keep from declaring war against this dimension to find him, calling Superman “Captain Primary Color Palette” in the Justice League watchtower.

Writings of this AU:

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Incorrect DC quotes part 24: Batfam dynamics

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