Imagine this
CW! Green Arrow with COMIC!Justice League where only Bruce and Oliver know each other’s identities because they are best friends.
Anyways, something happens to Anatoly so Oliver steps in for him.
The JL are freaking out, trying to figure out why billionaire playboy CEO Oliver Queen is now leading one of the biggest Russian mafia groups.
Bruce also has no fucking idea but doesn’t care that much because Joker escaped and it’s actually Jason in the suit. He keeps sending his uncle questioning looks because he’s jealous.
Oliver is having the time of his life but also needs to leave in about an hour so he can track down the asshole who but a hit out on one of his best friends and imply it’s okay if someone kills the guy.
He isn’t going to do it himself but he wouldn’t stop them!
today on "absolutely unhinged things for stover to put on paper and lucas to approve," the depiction of obi-wan's self-aware attachment to anakin here, how ready he'd be to kill yoda for the greater good, and how he'd let yoda kill him too, but anakin is the exception to their entire order and to obi-wan's moral judgment.
all three of them here, arguably the three most important jedi in the galaxy, they all know with wariness that anakin, the chosen one, has failed to grasp the central tenet of their code, and they don't know what to do about it. obi-wan thinks he failed him, failed to teach him; he knows anakin failed to learn, failed to accept it, how he'd would never let a friend go.
obi-wan here offers keen, intimate analysis of anakin's inner workings, shining a light on who darth vader really is in his heart, his loyalty beyond any moral or ethical bounds. obi-wan is painfully aware of how he is complicit in fostering this inappropriate attachment, only encouraging anakin's behavior. we see why he apologized in the kenobi show, how he was already sorry.
tbh this page changed me—my understanding of the characters, and my appreciation of the entire tragedy, like.. look how anakin has compromised obi-wan, and look at how much obi-wan loves him anyway. look at how the heart of this incipient monster is described with tender, ruthless clarity by the one who knows it best... on the next page obi-wan's literally crying about what they've done... i'm astrally projecting into the sun
Bruce, introducing his kids at a family Interview: This is my eldest Dick, my second eldest Cassandra, then my son Jason, my second youngest Tim, and my youngest Damian
Bruce: That's my daughter-in-law Barbara, and my other daughter-in-law, Stephanie
Tim: ??? Steph and I broke up forever ago?? How is she your daughter-in-Law?
Stephanie: I may not be dating any of you anymore but I'm the State of daughter-in-law. Daughter-in-law is not a family title, it's the friends you make along the way
Jason: I'm not high enough for this shit
Golden boy Dick Grayson: Me fucking neither
Jason: what
Dick: what
Bruce: ??? What do you mean she's not my daughter-in-law anymore?? I was counting on her marrying into the family :C
Steph: Sorry B, unfortunately your son would rather kiss superbitch than me
Dick: TIM IS KISSING WHO NOW
Bruce: >:( We'll talk about that later, right now-
Tim: I don't think that's necess-
Bruce: We'll talk about that later. Right now can't any of you date her?? Jaylad, you're sin-
Steph: HELL NO
Jason, already on his second blunt: You're so funny, old man. I'm literally co parenting my best friends kid. I'm literallyyyy be gay do crime. Haha.
Dick: YOURE WHAT WITH WHO NOW
Bruce: CAN ANY OF YOU JUST DATE HER
Cass, slowly raising her hand like in Hunger Games: I volunteer
Bruce: ...
Tim: ...
Dick: ...
Bruce: This is why you're my favorite daughter 🥹
Cass: Father, I'm your only daughter
Tim: Untrue. I did drag one time, that has to count
Steph: Does this mean I have a girlfriend
Damian: This family is a disgrace
Interviewer: ...
Bruh I spent more time on the suitors' dead bodies than on Odysseus and Telemachus. But like, have this picture of "I Can't Help But Wonder", and also this took 16 hours, please appreciate it.
The Batkids play a game called “Guess Who Bruce Is Disappointed In Today” and it is a bloodsport.
It started as a joke. It is no longer a joke.
Every morning, without fail, one of them walks into the kitchen and says:
“Guess who Bruce is disappointed in today?”
And they all take turns guessing based on crime alerts, nightly patrol rotations, and vibes.
It’s become a system.
It went like:
Jason: “I knocked out a senator by accident. My odds are high.”
Tim: “I drank seventeen Red Bulls and fell asleep on top of the Batcomputer.”
Damian: “I released three bats into Gotham General Hospital as enrichment. They were bored.”
Steph: “I called him ‘Brucie’ in front of a senator.”
Cass: Just raises a finger and shrugs.
Then Bruce walks in, dead silent, pours his coffee, looks at no one, and walks away.
Tim: “It’s Jason.”
Jason: “DAMN IT.
Rules:
If you guess wrong, you have to do patrol with Damian and listen to him rant about the superiority of traditional swordsmanship for two hours.
If you guess right, you get to choose the movie on family movie night.
If Bruce is disappointed in himself, everyone gets ice cream. That’s the law.
It got so serious they made a whiteboard. Labeled it: “DISAPPOINTMENT LEADERBOARD.”
Top scores:
Tim (17 correct guesses, possible mind reader)
Cass (14, reads vibes better than Google Translate reads Latin)
Steph (11, mostly via chaos intuition)
Jason (2. constantly thinks it’s him. It often is. But not always.)
Damian (0. refuses to acknowledge he is ever the cause)
One time Dick guessed correctly for the first time in 3 months and everyone clapped.
He cried.
Alt. Version: Guess Who Bruce Is Proud Of Today.
Game cancelled due to lack of data.
Together.
Batgirl (2000) #67 // Batgirl (2000) #27 // Batgirl (2000) #18 // Batman and Robin: Eternal #3 // Truth & Justice #16 // Batman & The Outsiders (2019) #9 // Batgirl (2000) #29 // Batgirl (2000) #60 // Batgirl (2008) #6 // Batgirl (2000) #59 + Batgirl (2024) #3
Interviewer, catching Damian in costume: Robin! Can you explain the process of picking up Robin or passing on the mantle?
Damian, mildly annoyed at Bruce at the moment: It's quite simple. Batmam steals young children from their bed, usually nine or ten or so. Then he takes you to his lair and give you a deal.
Damian: If you can beat him in a game of your choosing, he will train you to be Robin. If you lose, you are eaten. I beat him in a classic fencing game. He's quite good with swords, but he wasn't very good with the sport itself.
Tim, standing next to him: Yeah, I beat him at a memory card game. I like totally cheated, but I'm too old for him to eat now, so ot doesn't matter.
Damian, nodding: Yes. The worst part of the job is disposing of failed Robins bones. He usually sucks them clean and leaves them all over the floor.
Tim: Yeah, its messy. But after you hit, like 15 he stops trying to eat you, so that's cool.
Damian: I have not yet reached 15. I'm still in danger. If you have more questions, ask Nightwing, as he was the first to avoid being eaten.
-
Same interviewer, at a different date: Mr. Nightwing. Is it true Batman tries to eat potential Robins?
Dick, who has no idea what she's taking about: Yeah, it's really scary. His jaw unhinges like a snake.
There's a serious comparison to be made between how Barbara fails as a teacher for Cass and how Cass fails as a teacher for Stephanie. Barbara's brain is biological supercomputer with an eidetic memory which can learn a new language in like five minutes. Cassandra is likewise superhumanly talented at fighting.
In both cases these aren't just learned skills to them. Cassandra's fists and Barbara's mind are core to their identities. They're the things that make them heroes, that give them agency, that make them matter, it's who they are. The reason they have no patience for teaching these skills to others is they're incapable of contextualizing a world without them.
Barbara can't teach Cass because the prospect of a life without language is simply inconceivable to her. Likewise, Cassandra can't teach Stephanie because she has no context at all for what learning to fight must be like for other people without her natural affinity. Their respective talents are so core to their being that people who can't do what comes easily to them must simply not be trying hard enough.
Ironically it's one of the very few ways in which they're actually extremely alike.
I think this happened in 'odysseus'
Telemacus: *fighting against the suitors, holding his ground but he's slipping*
Telemacus: *sees ody in the shadows, bow aimed at him and the suitors*
Telemacus: *stops fighting abruptly and goes slack*
Suitor: haha, got him
Ody: finally I can actually shoot my damn bow without hitting my kid
when I told a friend that I was a devout member of the “English teacher Jason Todd” headcanon, her addition was: “what if he catches one of his students in a gang or something? He begins to deal psychic damage while beating people up”
Jason: YOU DIDNT EVEN KNOW HOW TO INDENT A PARAGRAPH UNTIL A WEEK AGO, JARED. PUT THE GUN AWAY Jared: *runs* Jason: *yelling at his back* YES, GO CRY TO THE MOM WHO WAS WRITING YOUR ESSAYS UNTIL TENTH GRADE
the gangs start avoiding him because they’ve found out that any of their newer, younger recruits will flee at the sight of him. (By god, how did he know about that horrible test score? That awkward boner? That PE incident involving a stinky shoe? How did he have that kid’s MOM’S PHONE NUMBER???)
A typical thug conversation in Gotham…