Ngl I Feel Like Cassie Is Baned From Training Any One Cause It’s Traumatizing.

Okay I’ve been thinking about the Parallax retcon again cause god do I hate it. I’ve done some meta on it but I’m gonna focus on what it did to Hal. Earlier to day I said there wasn’t much build up to Parallax but that’s not exactly true because I wasn’t considering the frame work of Hal’s headspace.

So back after Crisis, Hal Jordan wasn’t doing so hot. His best friend had died. Carol was possessed by the Star Sapphire and committing all sorts of crimes to fuck with Hal. John and Guy weren’t that close with Hal back in the 90s. John and Hal fought over a ton of shit Carol did while possessed.

Hal was pretty isolated at this point. He tries to go to people he thought were his friends and they all wave him off or openly tell him to get over himself. Some of them were down right malicious about it. Hal wasn’t in a good place.

Then Coast City is destroyed. And Hal wants to try to fix it. He tries with the rings and the Guardians tell him no. Hal is so completely isolated at this point no one even notices that he is running to take a swan dive off the cliff of sanity.

Hal goes to Oa. He steals the rings of the other Lanterns and leaves them in Space to die. He kills Sinestro. He kills Kilowog. Then Hal steps into the Power Battery. He kills every single one of the Guardians minus Ganthet here.

And his plan? Reset the universe. Hal wants to put everything back to his it was before Crisis. When Coast City wasn’t rubble. When Barry Allen was alive.

Now the heroes step in. They look at this man who they turned away, who they ignored in his grief, in the aftermath of the destruction of his city, and they call him a villain. Then they act surprised he doesn’t wanna hear what they have to say? That he maybe doesn’t care about their opinions on him because they certainly couldn’t be bothered with him before this.

In the end Ollie shoots him in the chest. And Ollie thinks he killed Hal but he didn’t. Hal and Kyle just ended up on Oa.

And the heroes wipe their hands clean. They were then absolved of any guilt around Hal because he was clearly a bad guy. They couldn’t have stopped him. But that’s not true. Anyone at all offering a hand out might have stopped him.

By the time Hal attacks Kyle in New York he’s desperate. He has no other plan than try Zero Hour again. He wants the Green Lantern ring. He wants to be a Green Lantern. That’s all Hal. Hal is there and he’s been practically screaming for help for years.

And Kyle oh hopelessly naive Kyle is the first one to tell Hal what he’s doing isn’t heroic. Everyone else declared Hal himself a villain.

Kyle was the one who saw the hero in Hal. Kyle went to the Source Wall to ask for Hal’s help in restarting the sun.

And only once Hal had died did the others look at him like a hero again. And with a bittersweet taste nonetheless.

Kyle set up Hal’s funeral. He made the memorial. He wanted everyone to know that Hal was a hero truly and fully.

But they turned their backs to Hal. They decided he wasn’t worth their time. What good are they to decide who’s a sinner and who’s a saint to paraphrase Hal himself.

And then the retcon. That it wasn’t Hal at all. It was Parallax.

That is their wipe away for everything that happened to Hal. It cloaks his depression, his anger, his loneliness in some supernatural fear bug and we can all just move on.

It means when Hal tells Barry about it that Barry waves it off as not Hal. As if nothing Hal was feeling then matters. As if Hal didn’t exist at all. Just Parallax.

This means the other heroes don’t have to feel bad at all, as if they would, for abandoning Hal because his emotions were being influenced. Nothing at all could have been done.

Except then they fucked up again when Kyle was possessed by Parallax. Hal held out a hand and he helped Kyle break free. Which means yes they could have helped Hal. But they chose not to.

The Parallax retcon is a massive cop out so the writers didn’t have to address a characters actual mental state. Because it’s easier to draw a smile I suppose.

But even with the retcon it shows how the others dropped the ball. Hal wasn’t suffering in silence and they “couldn’t have known” he was asking for help. He needed help. And they turned him away.

TL;DR: Hal Jordan needs some better friends

This was inspired by @pulsar-1919 thank you for that reply about The List. I forgot how much of a dick everyone was to Hal. I knew about Bruce in the robe being a jackass but that’s par for the course for Bruce tbh.

Goonion rule #14. If given the chance; always fuck with Batman

The goons rating the bats and birds in Gotham.

Batman: 4/10 beats us up and leaves. He talks to us like he’s better but we don’t go flying around beating people up in a furry suit.

Robin: 5/10 talks like the 1800’s and has a sword.

Red Robin: 6/10 we like that he’s smart. Plus he got sued by the restaurant and broke Two Face out to represent him so that was iconic.

Spoiler: 4/10 terrible jokes.

Red Hood: 6/10 he shoots us but treats his employees well.

Nightwing: 2/10 terrible jokes and sometimes gets really angry.

Signal: 6/10 the only day bat and he’s pretty nice but absolutely terrifying when he does that power thing and it looks like he’s a shadow.

Batwoman: 2/10 is mean.

Batgirl: 5/10 was smart but not a great fighter so it was fun. Don’t know where she went but she’s back so yay kinda.

Black Bat: 7/10 is terrifying and doesn’t talk but is kinda gentle and is an angel when she does talk. Also she holds back a lot, we can see with her other fights. And we don’t see her a ton.

Huntress: 2/10 shoots us with arrows and is rude.

@mbirnsings-71

Dannys at Wayne enterprise because his parents want to submit their inventions and "scientific" discoverys for official review. He's bored out of his mind and meets this beautiful girl his age and strikes up a conversation with her. (Or he meets a girl and starts to rant like his father.)

Danny: im just saying Orphan has to be a vampire!

????(cass): No.

Danny: Are you kidding me? She moves with far to much elegance and grace to be mortal. Credit to the other bats but they move like mortals. She dances around both rogues and vigilantes!

????(cass): *blushing* No vampire.

Danny: ok maybe not a vampire but like a shadow demon or dhamphir or something! She's to much!

????(cass): orphan. Is. good. What about others?

Danny: oh! stabby robin and red hood are top tier obviously!

????(cass): oh?

Danny: well yeah! Stabby robin practices the art of the sword, a forgotten art in modern times. And red hood shoots pedophiles! Who doesn't like that?

????(cass): Batman.

Danny: well that says something about batman doesn't it. Have you seen the first Robin's outfit? Oof!

*in cass's ear*: Red Robin here. Good job on keeping danny distracted orphan. We're in the process of arresting Danny's parents. Can you keep it up?

????(cass): mhmm. Hey. Cute boy. Take me out to lunch?

Danny: Oh! Yeah! My parents will take hours explaining everything anyway, But uhm. What's your name?

????(cass): call me cass. This is a date, Yes?

Danny: *blushing* oh, uhm, yes. I'm Danny by the way.

Cass: Danny very cute.

Red robin: uhm? You don't have to do that orphan. Hello? ...Please don't make me explain this to B. Orphan?

Batman: Follow. Them.

What I think would happen if the batfam gets shipwrecked to an abandoned island.

Alfred; is enjoying his vacation.

Bruce; doesn’t know what to do because he hasn’t gone a single day of his life without someone helping him and can’t cook edible food.

Dick; dies from lack of physical affection.

Jason; can’t figure out how to hunt without guns

Tim; dies without coffee or wifi.

Damian; is worried about the animals and dies from starvation because he refuses to kill.

Duke; is okay ish, like he survives but not easily.

Barbra (not paralyzed cause she wouldn’t survive paralyzed in my opinion); is having a little fun with making traps.

Steph; is having the time of her life without her stupid classes and teachers.

Cass; was literally trained for this and is happy she finally has some alone time even if she misses her family.

Meanwhile Oliver is just watching this all and sighing because how did he survive but some of them didn’t?

Fav ship

Similar to this and my comment on it https://www.tumblr.com/demonic0angel/767278181073960960/hmmmmm-how-bout-some-spicy-dannycass?source=share

Danny and Cass enjoying Ollie's chili, much to the horror of everyone except Batman

(LMAOOOO)

Danny and Cass were enjoying their meal, while their siblings were all dying from the heat of Oliver’s chili. Dick and Duke were trying in vain to drink as much water and milk as they could. Stephanie looked like she was about to pass out. Bruce was also at the table, eating at a slow and measured pace. Oliver was beaming, clad in a pink apron and holding a ladle, as he asked, “Do you want seconds?”

Bruce shook his head, blank faced. Damian scowled through the meal, while Jason grimaced, muttering and glaring at Danny and Cass, “How on earth are you two eating this so fast?!”

Cass shrugged, “Not as bad as Sichuan food.” She turned her head and watched Danny eat for a little longer until he noticed her gaze and smiled at her.

“Are you still hungry?” He asked, licking his lips and Cass stared at him deeply before smiling and then nodding, turning back to her meal.

Damian muttered, “If this isn’t enough to make me throw up, that would’ve done it.”

Bruce sighed. “Do any of you want crackers?”

Jason sneered. “What psychopath eats crackers with chili? Better yet— Ollie! Can you get me a hot dog?! I need something worth living for without Jazz around right now.”

Danny perked up, pausing in his eating to hand Cass a napkin and ask, “Wait, where is she?”

Jason coughed from inhaling a pepper and said hoarsely, “I think she and Tim are eating ice cubes in the kitchen right now.”

Dick stood up and sniffled from the heat. “I think I’m going to join them. The rest of you weirdos can finish the meal.” He dragged away Duke and Stephanie, leaving Danny, Cass, and Bruce eating peacefully in the dining room, with Damian and Jason determined to finish their hellish meal.

Oliver complained, “What! Why is everyone always leaving?!” and then went after them to make them try more of his chili.

Danny hummed, nudging Cass. As she turned, he leaned closer and whispered, “They’re pretty weak to heat, huh?”

She hooked their fingers together with a sweet smile. “Not us though.”

A spoon went flying in Danny’s direction, making him dodge with wide eyes.

“Keep your hands off of my sister or this food is going into your eyes, Fenton!”

Bruh I spent more time on the suitors' dead bodies than on Odysseus and Telemachus. But like, have this picture of "I Can't Help But Wonder", and also this took 16 hours, please appreciate it.

Nightwing checked Orphan's pulse, but no heartbeat could be felt. He frowned; although they didn’t always get along, her dying wasn’t something he wished for.

Nightwing: She's… dead.

Spoiler rushed over, administering chest compressions and shouting for Orphan to wake up. Lady Shiva, who had followed the heroes, saw her daughter lifeless on the ground, not fallen in battle but taken down by a villain she deemed beneath both of them.

Red Hood: We could take her to the pit.

Robin: Yeah, I'll owe Grandfather, but we can’t lose her. Plus, death sucks. You feel your bowels release and—

Red Hood: Do not remind me of that! She’s going to come back swinging from that pit.

Robin: Remember when mother punched grandfather after-

Lady Shiva rushed past the heroes and attacked the villain, shooting him multiple times until he collapsed to the ground.

Lady Shiva: No one hurts my baby girl, you son of a bitch!

She aimed for non-lethal spots, ensuring he would survive before launching into a flurry of punches, elbows, and jabs.

Spoiler (pausing from the chest compressions): Aww, she does love her.

Many hours later.

Orphan (revived): She shot him?

Red Hood: Yep, and he lived. She said it’s what you would’ve wanted, even if it pained her to let the coward live… that’s so sweet.

Red Hood pretended to cry, making Orphan laugh as she playfully slapped him on the arm.

Orphan: I owe her.

Red Hood: She said to buy her lunch when she visits.

Orphan: Hm, I can do that. And sorry for kicking you in the stomach when I woke up.

Red Hood: Don’t apologize to me! I barely felt it. Nightwing getting punched in the eye, though… now that was just funny.

Red Hood hugged Orphan tightly. She groaned, embarrassed, but let the hug last.

Hal Jordan as character is funny to me because the way fandom see and treat him as this poor meow meow character, make other people forget how actually fucking sad his whole life is. Like most people only remember about how he watch his father died and how he thrive to be like him as his tragic backstory. Not a lot mention about how abusive his dad was, how repressed Hal is as a result of that, his shitty relationship with his family, his struggle with his civilian job and balancing his life while being a green lantern. Like it's just funny. You search for his contents and most of them come out as funny stuffs, but then you try to learn more about him and you ask yourself, "Holy shit how tf did this man hold it together???". It's like experiencing a culture shock

and when you think about this in context of how he in all likelihood is the youngest of the original members of the league it gets even sadder like to think he was doomed from the moment he was given the ring despite it initially giving him so much hope that he could make a difference is so depressing and once again i think a very apt metaphor for how military structures prey on people and exploit them until they’re nothing