HEADCANON: Harry Is One Of Those Dorks That Talks Into A Banana Pretending It’s A Phone, Except He

Harry: Here, Albus! I got you a ferret to take with you to Hogwarts!

Albus: I told you I wanted a ca-

Harry: A ferret is so much cooler

*later*

Albus: *is rolling his trolly holding is ferret on platform 9 3/4*

Draco: *locks eyes with Harry from across the platform and sees the ferret*

Draco: ...you son of a bitch

this is what I mean when I ask for dick pics

hey sorry for not texting u back im depressed

how to save yourself lots of sadness and anxiety

step 1:

the biggest con in history!

Me: *clicks kudos on Ao3*

Ao3: You've already left kudos here :)

Me:

Me:

Me: I've read this?? When did I??

A Surprise Pride and Prejudice Engagement

(Note: This isn’t me)

No one:

Absolutely no one:

Dick Grayson:

Source

Pansy & Hermione, at a bar

Hermione: Yoga helps you look and feel better naked.

Pansy: So does tequila. *downs 5 shots in a row*

Hermione: *stares at Pansy*

Pansy: See, you already can’t keep your eyes off me.