" This May Sound Crazy To You But...If She Were A Cliff, I Won't Even Hesitate To Take The Leap."

— Arundhati Roy, The God of Small Things

15 more seconds before midnight

I'm sitting here, staring at my phone

Thinking how to hit your phone up

Should I text you or hit the caller icon?

It's been a year since we last talked

Today, it's like my mind keeps drifting back into the memories you engraved in my heart a year ago

The Good morning texts

The later night conversations

How often we quarrel over what "we" really are

The time you told me

" I love you but I can't keep your heart."

It shattered me.

You were scared just as I was

But I never gave up on us

Sent you sonnets everyday

Sang you lullabies at night

Showed you my scars

For you, I turned myself inside out.

Still, my everything wasn't enough.

You came with the smile of October then left me alone with the gloomy November.

You left.

You left without a goodbye.

I tried to run after you in the dark

I called your name several times

On my knees, I fell to the ground

You're already gone

You're already gone.

15 more seconds before midnight

With tears in my eyes,

I put my phone down

And whispered into the void

" Happy birthday, I'm letting you go now."

-H.Asteid ,10-22

" What made you so afraid of people getting too close?"

-H.Asteid

It was death that made autumn beautiful.

- H.Asteid

" You still have a lifetime to be who you really wanna be."

-H.Asteid

" She's like a closed book hiding on the farthest part of a shelf, tightly hugging herself , Afraid that someone might ruin her pages again."

- H.Asteid, Ruined Pages

" I was more attracted to him than he was to me.

And it really scared me.

-H.Asteid

" And my biggest mistake was loving you more than I could ever love myself."

-H.Asteid

"Go and wander my love

See the world and reach your dreams

Because if we're really meant to be,

God will ALWAYS gravitate you back to me."

-H.Asteid