Working In A University Is Wild Because In The Same Shift I Can Go From Grading Student Papers To Literally

this is entrapment

my three wives. and yes, they smoke weed

So are you going to tell us about the giant hyperpredatory sperm whales or do I have to go google some nightmares myself?

we’re all familiar with the Sperm Whale of our modern seas, largest of the Toothed Whales! it’s also completely specialized for eating squid and squid ONLY, a comfort to anyone who’s ever managed to get just a bit too close to those enormous razor jaws.

but this was very much not always the case! the earlier members of the Sperm Whale lineage were much less… discerning.

early Sperm Whales all resembled our friendly modern swimming school bus to some degree, but the main difference was in the jaws- early Sperm Whales like Acrophyseter and Zygophyseter all had wide, powerful jaws with ENORMOUS teeth suitable for snacking on fish, dolphins, aquatic sloths, and pretty much anything else they could fit down their enormous gullets, kind of like a modern Orca.

and from 12 to 7 million years ago, these things RULED the seas. Megalodon who?

but the greatest of these was Livyatan Melvillei, which was the size of our modern Sperm Whale. 

reaching up to 60 feet long and weighing well over 60 tons, it this thing was a Sea Monster in every sense of the word. 

it is so BONKERS huge that they named it after the Hebrew name for the Biblical Leviathan (and also Herman Melville, who would have gotten a real kick out of it). I cannot overstate how unsafe it would be to share an ocean with this thing. Moby Dick would have been an entirely different book if it was still around. 

so what does a 60-feet hyperpredatory whale eat?

*Groucho Marx voice* WHY, ANYTHING IT WANTS. 

(but mostly other whales.)

Livyatan spent most of its time cruising around looking for delicious smaller whales to shove into that nightmare maw up there, a lifestyle choice we call macroraptorial. though in a pinch, anything else would also do. 

(basically, if you were a mid-sized baleen whale in the paleozoic seas you were just SHIT out of luck, between Megalodon and this thing.)

Livyatan may have died out as little as 5 million years ago, meaning it might even have been around to make the early ancestors of Orcas regret their life choices! (Livyatan is the only animal that could possibly make an Orca regret anything, but God, at what cost)

but die out they did, and that’s probably a good thing for us. why don’t we all just take a moment to really appreciate our modern hyperspecialized Sperm Whales, especially the part where they don’t eat us!

Okay so I found the most incredible horse statue while doing research for my job and guys. Are you ready for this. Are you sure you're fucking ready for this thing

Man I really had my keys stolen and found out who the UA traitor is in one day

bob the builder but every episode focuses on some aspect of OSHA regulations

Academic writing advice inspired by Umberto Eco’s ‘How to Write a Thesis’:

Planning

Determine primary sources/bibliography.

Determine secondary sources/bibliography. 

Find title.

Brainstorm a table of contents with as much detail as possible (with chapters, sections and even paragraphs and sub-paragraphs - see How to Write a Thesis’ own table of contents as an example at the end of this document) (if the first drafted table of contents is good enough, it will not be necessary to start the writing from the beginning).

Do a first draft of the introduction.

Note-taking and research

Use Google Scholar to make sure you do not miss important sources.

Keep the table of contents in mind when researching and take notes of which sources could go where.

While note-taking, differentiate which parts could be used as quotations from the ones that are simply important for the argument.

Eco underlines the importance of what he calls reading sheets, which can be understood as your notes on your readings. According to him, these should contain:

information about the author if he is not a well-known figure;

a brief (or long) summary;

they should mostly consist of quotations (accompanied by all the corresponding page numbers)

any commentaries you might want to add;

an indication of which part (or parts) of your table of contents the information mentioned belongs to.

Keep reading sheets on primary sources (which should be the longest) separate from those on secondary sources (which should only be 1-2 pages long).

In the end, re-read the notes and color-code all the different parts according to where they would fit in your table of contents.

Writing and editing

A good place to start would be by redrafting the introduction.

Define every key/technical term used/mentioned unless indisputably obvious.

General writing tips:

keep sentences short;

do not be afraid to repeat the subject twice (ex: Roberta went to the shop (…) Roberta bought carrots and tomatoes);

avoid excessive details;

avoid subordinate clauses (orações subordinadas);

avoid vague language;

avoid unnecessary adjectives;

avoid the passive voice.

While drafting, write everything that comes to mind. Leave the editing for the end.

Use your tutor as a Guinea pig. Make them read your first chapters (and, progressively, all the rest) well before delivery is due. 

Ask for as much feedback as possible. Ask colleagues, friends and/or family to read your work. They will provide you with more diversified feedback, as well as allowing you to know if your writing is clear to anyone.

Stop playing ‘solitary genius’.

Don’t insist on starting with the first chapter. Start with what you know best and feel more comfortable writing about, then fill in the gaps.

Leave time for editing and try to take at least a one or two days long break in between writing and editing. 

Do not forget to fill in the gaps. When you revisit your writing, go through it with all these writing tips in mind as well as a conscience of what your most common mistakes are.

Use Hemingway in the final editing phase.

Quotations and footnotes

Since there are two kinds of sources (primary and secondary), there are also two kinds of quotations: either we quote a text which we will interpret, or we quote a text which supports your interpretation.

Some quotation rules to know:

“Quote the object of your interpretive analysis with reasonable abundance.”

 “Quote the critical literature only when its authority corroborates or confirms your statements. (…)  when quoting or citing critical [aka secondary] literature, be sure that it says something new, or that it confirms authoritatively what you have said.”

“If you don’t want readers to presume that you share the opinion of the quoted author, you must include your own critical remarks before or after the passage.”

“Make sure that the author and the source of your quote are clearly identifiable.”

“When a quote does not exceed two or three lines, you can insert it into the body of the text enclosed in quotation marks. (…) When the quote is longer, it is better to set it off as a block quotation. In this case the quotation marks are not necessary, because it is clear that all set-off passages are quotes, and we must commit to a different system for our observations. (Any secondary developments [like the quote’s reference] should appear in a note.) (…) This method is quite convenient because it immediately reveals the quoted texts; it allows the reader to skip them if he is skimming, to linger if he is more interested in the quoted texts than in our commentary, and finally, to find them immediately when need be.”

Some footnote rules to know:

“Use notes to add additional supporting bibliographical references on a topic you discuss in the text. For example, ‘on this topic see also so-and-so.’”

“Use notes to introduce a supporting quote that would have interrupted the text. If you make a statement in the text and then continue directly to the next statement for fluidity, a superscript note reference after the first statement can refer the reader to a note in which a well-known authority backs up your assertion.”

“Use notes to expand on statements you have made in the text. Use notes to free your text from observations that, however important, are peripheral to your argument or do nothing more than repeat from a different point of view what you have essentially already said.”

“Use notes to correct statements in the text. You may be sure of your statements, but you should also be conscious that someone may disagree, or you may believe that, from a certain point of view, it would be possible to object to your statement. Inserting a partially restrictive note will then prove not only your academic honesty but also your critical spirit.”

“Use notes to provide a translation of a quote, or to provide the quote in the original language.”