Yeah I'm A False Prophet But You Believed Me So Whose Fault Is It Really That We're In This Mess

"you should be at the club" I can't go to the club I'll be in there saying shit like "perchance" and "thrice"

i once made a text post that got 33 notes maybe you should think before you talk to me that way

love a character that's like. i survived (<- not a brag) (<- this is a curse that weighs on me every waking hour)

”okay but are you normal about-“ no. I’m an insane pervert.

women are really hot. did you guys know this

personally i’m a fan of when a story is like. the love was there. unfortunately. this all could have actually gone a lot easier for everyone if the love hadn’t been there but here we are

“who hurt you” me dude I’m fucking dumb

My pronouns are fuck/that and I identify as a problem.

well, you see, the thing is: (instead of finishing my sentence i curl up comfortably in bed and go to sleep

Guy just walked in with a shirt that said “I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them” and frankly I’m obsessed