Every Once In A While I Remember That This Photo Happened And My Day Gets A Little Bit Better.

We never really talked about it but The Ugly Ducking that grew up to be a beautiful swan was still probably pretty fugly from a duck’s perspective

[First image description: a hand holding several trading cards with pictures of middle-aged men on them. This image is a hyperlink to an article in the Tokyo Weekender, titled Middle-Aged Man Trading Cards Go Viral in Rural Japan Town. /End first image description.]

[Second image description: three trading cards with images of middle-aged men on them. The writing is in Japanese, which I can't read, but two of the men are pictured with a light bulb and a bus respectively, so I think they are an electrician and a bus driver. /End second image description.]

[Third image description: text reading, We wanted to strengthen the connection between the children and the older generations in the community. There are so many amazing people here. I thought it was such a shame that no one knew about them," she said in an interview with Fuji News Network (FNN). "Since the card game went viral, so many kids are starting to look up to these men as heroic figures." The plan worked. Kids have started attending local events and volunteering for community activities -- just for a chance to meet the ojisan from their cards. Participation in town events has reportedly doubled since the game launched. /End third image description.]

Tokyo Weekender

Middle-Aged Man Trading Cards Go Viral in Rural Japan Town

A trading card game consisting of real-life ojisan (middle-aged men) are going viral with kids in the city of Kawara in Fukuoka Prefecture.

Wow. The patience, kindness and calm communication skills. Outstanding.

From raindovemodel

Helmut Moik: Dalmatian Pelican in the Danube Delta, Romania, 2003

[Image description: text reading, #this is literally it. this has psychological support. #time as we perceive it "slows down" during new and/or challenging experiences #because our brains are encoding more details about the experience. more data = larger file size = a "longer" memory #hence time "slowing down" during highly stressful events. in fight/flight/freeze we take in A LOT of detail that we otherwise wouldn't # and one of the reasons childhood and adolescence feel so long in retrospect is because we were having novel experiences all the time! #the older we get the less "new" everything is #UNLESS we make an effort to continue learning and growing and trying new things whenever we can. #it's not only good for you but your life will literally feel longer. time will literally feel slower. #anyway i just think it's neat. :^) #psych #tags /End image description.]

literally though if you feel like your life is slipping through your fingers and every day goes too fast… try doing hard things, not just taking the easy route, like reading and making art and exercising and cooking a meal from scratch and journaling, doing these things without distraction, without being absorbed on a screen… the time will stretch and you’ll be reminded that life is long and beautiful if you make it so.

happy "everyone forgets that icarus also flew" monday. i want to throw up !

One thing that's great about Deadloch is how real everyone looks. Most of the female characters don't seem to wear make-up (sure, the actors probably do because it's TV, but it doesn't look like it) and they're allowed to make weird, real facial expressions instead of looking "perfect", and I think that's what makes them look great.

[Image description: tumblr post tags from @mettaworldpiece reading: #misogynoir #transmisogynoir #passing #antiblackness #ppl who say things like this do not consider antiblackness #ALL black ppl are degendered and hypergendered at the same time that is how Black men can be fetishized for their sexual organs but still #be denied manhood and called boys #for Black women womanhood is held as conditional #as in it is placed on them whether they identify w it or not can be stripped away w no consideration for the person affected #even the concept of passing comes from 'white-passing' or from raciallized Black ppl who could move thru white society w/o feeling #the violent conditions of antiblackness #for me there isnt a person who doesnt know im trans as soon as I open my mouth #that does not mean I move with safety when not speaking tho as misogynoir conditions people to take their toll of every Black woman #they come into contact w #for example the suburban constructions who got mad when I walked past their catcalls did not know I was trans #but that didnt stop them from acting like they were going to swerve and run me over when I tried to walk past to work /End image description.]

u look like a giant buff woman idk what u mean "dont pass" lol.

So I wanted to respond to this one, not to evaluate my features as “passing/not passing” but to talk a bit on racialization and transness as a larger Black trans woman. I am going to be speaking on the experience of cis women in addition to trans women.

Yes, I’m 6’2” and 260lbs. There are plenty of cis women my height/weight or larger/taller! It is not inherently a trait of solely trans women to be large. But this also means that I don’t always pass, because a lot of cis women who look like me don’t pass all the time either no matter what they do.

In this outfit running errands, I got hit on a bunch, gendered appropriately a bunch, and honestly felt the most femme I have in a while. Meanwhile, I still had a man start screaming at me on a metro train because he could see up my dress while I was sitting and “I DONT WANT TO SEE THIS MAN’S UNDERWEAR!”

Often, assumption of masculinity for largeness, for height, is something that gets inflicted on tall cis women as well, moreso if they’re an athlete or otherwise buff or “unfeminine”. Many end up with a complex about it that affects their comfort presenting anything less than high femme even as cis women by adulthood, because it’s implied they have to “make up” for their height/frame by being more feminine.

So despite this not being something limited solely to trans women, it does get significantly amplified on trans women when we have other features or traits that may affect it, such as voice, visible stubble, etc.

On top of that, Black women are often racialized as “more masculine” bc of systemic societal antiblackness. While it can happen to anyone that visibly reads as a Black woman, it gets notably worse the darker your skin is and the larger you are. I’m very lightskinned, so while I still experience it, it’s also not nearly as bad as it would be for someone much darker than me with my build.

So for larger Black trans women, we get a double whammy of “passing” tribulations, as we get the misogynistic assumption of “the larger you are, the more masculine you are” and the misogynoiric assumption that as a Black woman, we are inherently more masculine.

Both of these factors are completely out of our control as larger Black trans women. They aren’t something that can be changed by anything we do to try and “pass” because they are baseline societal bigotries currently - fuck, Megan Thee Stallion is quite literally one of the most beautiful cis women on earth while also being larger and she’s still CONSTANTLY accused of being a man/masculine online even in some of her most “feminine” presentations.

So when I say that I “often don’t pass” I’m not commenting on my features, what I think “outs me as AMAB”, etc. im commenting on the baseline societal transmisogynoir that states that someone who looks like me, transfemme or not, often does not pass.

Many people will still gender me appropriately from the jump, hit on me, catcall me, otherwise treat me like a woman - but just as often I will be categorically excluded from even possibly passing for people who have engraved these social bigotries to heart, and recognizing that doesn’t affect whether I’m “valid”, whether I’m attractive (bc I’m a fucking Goddess and stunning), etc. but affects my SAFETY and the likely of experiencing transmisogynistic or transmisogynoiristic harm or violence.

Passing is not about whether you are attractive or not, it’s about safety.