so theres a kinda specific but also not that specific trope i really like and find comforting and its the everyone minus the main character meets the in-need-of-hug+help mc and lifts them up and takes care of them.
and i was over analyzing myself as one does in the wee hours of the morning and was like... oh... huh
im so terrified of loving someone more than they love me that i dont see me being able to let myself make new relationships especially as an adult, let alone rely on others for anything important.
ive been so hyper independent since as long as i can remember that the concept of *not* being as entirely and completely self-sufficient as possible at all times falls under the same "nice to dream about but not real" umbrella as a world without homophobia or transphobia.
like in all honesty how the fuck do people just... trust that other people wont screw them over? accidentally or on purpose? what if they leave? what if they get new priorities? what if they cheat? what if they die and then you're floundering AND mourning?