I tried numerous ways to get your attention..
but to no avail..
I waited and waited my eyes searching for yours..
but to no avail..
I made a fool of myself for you..
All for you..
Yet..
Why am I the one on the hurting side...
Why am I the only one on the losing side...
Why should it end this way...
Everytime... everytime..
My favourite places now have your scent..
My melody now forgotten... I hear only your name..
Can you help me out of this mess.. can you save me from my ruined palace.?
Can you take my hand and lie that it'll be okay..?
Can you give me your fake promises once again..?
Because this heart is fragile now.. it can't bear the same loss once again..
So darling stay.. stay
Stay till I go to sleep again
Stay stay stay till I find the courage to cry again.
Please stay.
I've ran from you for the longest time, rerouting, changing every course of action, planning, doing and undoing myself a million times in hopes I'd never have to see you again. But after 4 years, there you were, resting amidst the peaceful scenery, shadowing over me, taller than ever, my worst fear came alive again, right before my very own eyes, as we drove past you that night. They don't understand the fear I hold within myself everytime we meet, it has only ended in destruction. Your aisles and walkways were lit dimly as the evening sun set in, all the colours eventually blending into one, yet with all the breathtaking beauty, no one will ever know your darkest corners the way I do. I dwelled in them for the longest time, letting myself suffer without knowing your intentions. I was ruined. A thousand reasons and excuses but I'll always know it was me, it was my mistakes and wrongdoings that led me down the black hole. Amongst my walls and shelves filled with pride and beauty, you and I put together, will always be my greatest disappointment, simply heartbreaking. Wounds and scars I thought were healed, now bleeds through the night, getting rattled by your memories. Morphine, codeine, prescript me something I should intoxicate myself with to forget you, because no matter what I do, all these pain and endless thoughts are fighting the last of me. With every avenue shut, and nowhere else to run, I hope and pray, may I never seek refuge in you again...
© Raina Rose.