Cop: You ran a red light.
Floyd: So did you, hypocrite.
Cop: I was following you.
Floyd: That was dumb, I'm a terrible driver.
Cop: Get out.
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Jade: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.
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Azul: So, according to my university, it is, quote, “my responsibility if there is an internet outage to contact the faculty and the department.”
Azul: Now, if you’re a critical thinker like me, you might be wondering one thing.
Azul: HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO EMAIL THE DEPARTMENT?!?!?!
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Jade: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time.
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Jade: Sweet dog you got there.
Divus: Yes, this is our new drug sniffing dog.
Jade: Still training huh?
Divus: What do you mean?
Jade:
Jade: Never mind.
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Jade/Floyd: I'd make fun of your height but there isn't enough to make fun of.
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Azul: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.
Jade/Floyd: Awwww-
Azul: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."
Jade/Floyd: Oh.
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Azul: I’d like to live through a week that’s not a whole new verse of “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”
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Azul: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.
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Floyd: Hello friends!
Jade/Azul:
Floyd: You might be wondering why I’m taped to the ceiling
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