There is this place, in my head, that never fails to come to my aid. It is there when I need it most, and it has never not been there for me. I could joke that I trust this mental vision of a place that does not exist more than I trust some people in my life.
The vision takes place in the sunset. Or perhaps it is the sunrise. It mostly depends on my current mood at the time. The sky is orange and purple, blending together like paint on a canvas. The sun is gentle - a source of light, and only barely a source of heat so that I am comfortable. Sometimes there are clouds; soft ones, fluffy ones that feel you up with warmth as you imagine snuggling with one of them in your bed.
I am always sitting under a large tree. My back is pressed against the trunk, snuggled in its curves and twists in a way that suits me best. There is a picnic blanket beneath me - a red and white checkered pattern that’s gentle on the eyes. A flask of hot chocolate stands pressed against my thigh, a welcome source of warmth and sweetness. There are no books with me - nothing you would take with you for entertainment.
I don’t really need them.
A few steps away from my picnic blanket, the flower field starts. Sometimes they are sunflowers - bright and cheery, reaching up tall towards the sun. Sometimes they are simply flowers - colourful, vibrant, healthy, magical. The field follows the decline of the hill, and up the next one until there is nothing but bumps of flowers as far as the eye can see.
There is no sign of human life, here. There is no one except for me. I can lean my head against the trunk of the tree and close my eyes - I can breathe in a deep breath and know that I am safe, in this place.
If I were to tilt my head back far enough and peer through the leaves of the trees, I can see the stars above my head. Glorious against a backdrop of purple and dark blue - of black, at times, at some spots. They twinkle down at me as they retreat away from the sun and sometimes I wave them goodbye - or hello.
I don’t know if such a place exists in reality. I only know that it exists in my reality - and my reality is, at times, all I really need.