batkids reactions to TikTok ban
Alfred: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the life of somebody who has been like another member of our family. Somebody who lifted our spirits in times of need and provided advice in times of crisis. Our very own TikTok.
Steph, in a black veil: *weeping*
Tim: *hugs her*
Duke, wistfully: I can still hear its AI voice.
Barbara: Shh, it's okay.
Bruce: May I say a few words?
Alfred: Of course.
Bruce: I didn't know TikTok well, and that is a regret I will carry for the rest of my days. But the way my family interacted with it, it's like it became a Robin on its own. I may not have much to say, but I will always remember the one-of-a-kind way it told Reddit stories on top of Subway Surfers.
Jason, angry: It should've been me, damn it!
Bruce: On behalf of all Americans, I would like to send my condolences to the Europeans, whose feeds will be dry without us. I would also like to send our regards—and data—to China, who has been supporting us through this difficult time. In lieu of flowers, please sign up for RedNote.
Cass, nodding: Anything but Meta.
Dick: That's right. We'll figure it out together.
Kate: *bursts in*
Kate: We have a situation.
Dick: What's up?
Kate: TikTok's back.
Steph: *screams*
Tim: Don't mind her. It's always a shock to the widows. What happened, Kate?
Kate: Lazarus Pit? Flashpoint? Who knows. The point is, TikTok is back.
Dick: That's fantastic!
Kate: I wouldn't celebrate so fast. It's back, but it's different.
Bruce: What do you mean?
Kate: We have to proceed with caution. TikTok is in its Red Hood era and the League of Assassins just scooped it up.
Bruce: You heard her. To the Batcave!