It really is hard to fight the feeling of being left behind. For whatever reason, really. Poverty, lack of family, trauma, mental illness and lack of medication, or just plain not being ready yet. And it's so easy to feel like a bad person when you're bitter about it.
I'm texting my friend who still lives with his dad and has never had a job. He just told me he filled in for his brother as a film tech for one day and got offered a job in LA making triple what I make working both my jobs combined.
I'm texting my friend currently on the other side of the world because they were able to afford college, and the school they go to offered to pay for a trip to a country they always wanted to visit.
I'm texting my friend who's about to move to Japan just for the hell of it so he can learn the language and culture. His grandparents are paying for it.
I'm watching two of my friends take off in the music production industry with equipment in their bedrooms.
And it's hard to cheer for them, watching them do things I still dream of doing one day, once my bills stop taking such a huge chunk of my income and I've healed enough from things I've been through. But I do. I want them to succeed. I'm proud to know my friends, who definitely deserve all these good things, are doing well and are being offered the opportunity to be happy and well off.
Please remember that despite this, it's normal to feel bitter. It's normal to feel jealous, sad, and angry even. It doesn't make you a bad person. It doesn't make you a bad friend. What matters is that you keep trying anyway, keep encouraging your peers, and you remember that you're only ever going to get where you want to be at your own pace.
I can only hope that when - when - I do achieve my goals, that the time I took will provide me with ideas and experience that will be completely unique to me, and make my craft better for it.
I know it'll happen for you, too.