Stop The Way I Just Rambled For No Reason Ddfhjdf - Blog Posts
YOU'RE BIG. LARGER THAN LIFE. she’s heard that before. in a voice that sounded like rafaels, but wasn't his. close—painfully so— but not quite as deep. the familiarity is bittersweet, endearment and affliction flickering through her almost as quickly as the lights around them. kennedy is glad his back is to hers then, grateful for the bodies he has to navigate through, taking advantage of those extra seconds gained to compose herself before they reach their destination. “used to?” an eyebrow quirks at that, lips parted in a silent scoff. “don’t give up on me yet! i still have time.” that's what they would like to tell themselves anyways. that one’s life isn’t over if they don’t achieve all their goals by age thirty. that her return to redcreek didn’t mean she failed. it was only temporary.
now settled by the bar, kennedy is suddenly aware of how much they have had to drink. the room was still swaying even though they no longer were. they blink, slowly, the buzz from the liquor washing over them like a blanket, warm and heavy. maybe that’s why it’s easy to make promises for next time. to get caught up in the excitement of reconnecting with him. as if she hadn’t spent the last years carefully curating a distance between them. “yeah? are you saying i can just show up one day and ask for that dance? i know where you work, velazquez.” she flashes him a pleased grin as he slides the drink her way, quick to raise the glass to her lips. “it suits you, by the way. the tattoo shop. you always were the creative one.”
isn’t that right, joaquin?
the thought arises, a follow-up that feels as natural as breathing, but gets lodged in her throat when she turns to share a look with… NO ONE. picture frames of tender moments, but no house to hold them anymore. is that what grief is? as rafael leans into her initial touch, her hand flattens against his skin, the pads of her fingers pressing weakly, as if to check if he’s really here. she only catches the tail end of his question, gaze flickering to meet his once more. “no.” she breathes out, a subtle rasp in her voice, that knot tightening over her chords. dark hues scan his face, committing every feature to memory. as if he too was going to disappear the moment she let go. “you look beautiful.” once again taking his lead, dropping by her guard to reveal an unexpected moment of sincerity in the least ideal setting. only this time, she doesn’t have the time to think twice before another slip— “i really missed you, you know that?”
at that, rafael laughs - a small shake of his head all that's needed for a few stray stands to fall over his eyes. eyelashes blinking through them to watch her, "i'd love to see what you'd do with that power, kennedy - you're, big. larger than life." it's something joaquin would say; the memories barely skim the surface of his thoughts - he strikes a rainboot through them, sinks them further. "used to think you'd - conquer the whole world." it's genuine, too genuine for the club - for the crowd around them, for the buzz at the back of his head, warming where spine meets skull. "yeah," he agrees, easily; a passing laugh, "but it's still true, either way."
his forearms meet the edge of the bar, still close to kennedy - still allowing space between them. it's the most they've spoken since - since then. for once; rafael doesn't want to think about it. "you know where to find me, ken - door's always welcome for a good - waltz." beer left on the counter, rafael's turned towards them, sliding the tequila sunrise her way. he's always one to lean into touch, subconscious as their finger hooks onto him. another laugh escapes him, so easy. "you're the first one to get it, i think - yeah, the tall guy. dunno... felt easy, at the time. now i'm feeling a bit like a - misplaced film bro. do the wings make me look pretentious, ken? you can - be honest, with me. can handle the truth."
