Elrond: Hostage or not, sometimes it's nice being held.
Gil-galad: Are you okay?
Ciel: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than f**k. Sebastian: No, you need soap in your mouth. Ciel: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN STANDING THERE?!
*Bardroy thinking about doing something absurdly dangerous and telling Sebastian about it*
Bardroy: I think Houdini did something like this once! Why, if I recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time!
Sebastian, deadpan: Well that's encouraging.
Vi: You’re giving me a sticker?
Caitlyn: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”
Vi: I’m not a preschooler.
Caitlyn: Fine, I’ll take it back-
Vi: I earned this, back off!
Enid: Okay, help me please!
Wednesday: Got two words for you.
Enid: I bet they won’t be helpful.
Wednesday: Your problem.
Enid: I was right.
Enid: Must be hard not being able to laugh.
Wednesday: I do have a sense of humor you know.
Enid: I’ve never heard you laugh before.
Wednesday: I’ve never heard you say anything funny.
Caitlyn: That’s not fair, any idiot would know that.
Vi: I knew that!
Caitlyn: See!
Eleanor: I’m going to take you out.
Drea: Great, it’s a date!
Eleanor: I meant that as a threat.
Drea: See you at five!
Nancy: Are you sure this is the right direction?
Steve: Certainly, I’m as sure as I am honest
Robin: In that case, we’re definitely lost.
Nancy: Can you please be serious for five minutes?
Robin: My record is four, but I think I can do it.
Robin: What do you call a fish with no eye?
Nancy, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons.
Robin: …
Robin: Fsh.
Nancy: Three words. Say them and I’m yours.
Robin: Three words
Nancy:…
Robin: Just a heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and it will become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you’ll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this.
Nancy: What did you do?
Robin: IT WAS A MISTAKE!
Robin: How many kids do you have?
Steve: Biologically, emotionally, or physically?
Elinor: You kill people for money?!
Apollo: I can explain!
Elinor: And all this time I’ve been doing it for free like a chump!
Juliette: What’s up guys. I’m back.
Calliope: What the- you can’t be here. I literally saw you die.
Juliette: Death is a social construct.
Kara: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped in that position, doomed to starve to death?
Lena: How am I supposed to know?
Alex: You say that, as if we don’t us you as a source of knowledge of the occult.
Lena:*sighs*
Lena: You wouldn’t be trapped.
Sevika: Remeber when you didn’t try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?
Silco: Stop romanticizing the past.
Caitlyn: Go to hell!
Jinx, tearing up: I wish I could.
Jinx: I just ended a four year relationship.
Ekko: Oh, I’m sorry. Are you okay?
Jinx: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship
*Vi and Caitlyn fight from across the room*
Jinx: People are always asking me if I am more of a morning person or a night person.
Jinx: And I’m just like, buddy! I’m barely even a person
Kara: On the count of three, what’s your favorite cake? One, two, three-
Kara and Nia, in unison: Chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting and chocolate chunks.
Alex: Our turn Lena: One, two, three- vanilla!
Lena, deadpan: I’ve never had cake. What is cake?
Vi: Bitches be like “I’m baby”, but have childhood trauma and neglect. Like what the fuck do you know about being baby. You were forced to grow up from an early age. Anyways I’m bitches.
Jayce: *kicks the door down looking panicked*
Viktor: What did you do?
Jayce: Nobody died.
Viktor: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
Kara: You love me, right, Lena
Lena: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.
Sevika: Hey, it’s your turn to wash the dishes.
Powder/Jinx: I’LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD.
Sevika: ‘Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, and use soap this time?
Lena: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail.
Kara: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have used my one phone call to prank call the police.
Jayce: I turned out perfectly fine.
Viktor: Jayce, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast.
Jayce: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN.
Jayce: I’m 10 times funnier and sexier than you.
Viktor: 10 times 0 is still 0 though.
Jayce: Jokes on you I can’t do math.
Jayce: I actually have a black belt.
Viktor: In what, karate?
Jayce: No, from Gucci.