So Realizing That In When Im In Silence - Blog Posts

I've been trying to stay off of social media so I can focus on other things. So last night I logged out and stayed off. But afterward I just sat in my seat thinking about having a better future. Then I got really sad like, this is my life, why is it so horrible. Why aren’t I fixing it. I always get these feeling out of the blue, but usually its like once a year. But lately it’s been every couple of months.

Then I realized that doom scrolling literally distracts me from my sadness lmao. Cause I am not usually like this, usually I’m on twitter looking for something to make me laugh or yt. 

But when I logged off, I sat in silence wondering what to do next. My options were to either go to bed or continue sitting there. 

I convinced myself to read Dungeon Meshi. I’m on book 11. It was a hard read honestly. Maybe it was because of the state of my emotion but I was not having a fun time reading it, and I like reading conflict.

But I got to this page in the book where Marcille is expressing how she didn’t have any good memories in the dungeon and if only she had given up, she wouldn’t have to suffer through the bad experiences. But in the next page she says there’s no way I could just give up. 

And wow….I felt that lol. I feel like I feel it almost everyday.

I don’t want to get into details about it because I am emotionally drained right now.

I just wanted to remember these pages, and express some love for Dungeon Meshi. Lmao I never thought I would come to love it so much. A series I would have never picked up by myself probably because I am super picky lol. I want to get all the books so I can reread it and relish all the amazing line work and compositions.

This part felt so real. I can feel the love and care Marcille has for her comrades. That shes drops all her resolve and standards to protect her friends and they do the same for her. Seeing the Dungeon Meshi crew take care of each other makes me so jealous sometimes but it’s also so sweet. I can feel the love, it oozes.