Self Worth - Blog Posts
Do not be so open-minded that your brains fall out. - Gilbert K. Chesterton
Buy This, Buy That, "Less than a coffee now!" It seems like every time we're on social media, we're bombarded with products, fashion trends, advertisements, and new "aesthetics" that, conveniently for drop shippers and fast fashion empires, require us to buy a whole new wardrobe and interior design scheme. So, here are my top 10 tips for breaking the cycle.
Figure out who you are. Rather than the you the advertising algorithms tell you that you are.
Go through your current closet, jewelry box, vanity, and decor. Keep what makes you happy, and toss, sell, or donate what doesn't anymore. Yes, this includes those impulse dopamine-seeking purchases and the "little treats."
Make a list of things you realistically do in your day-to-day life that may need closet supplementation from what a standard "capsule" wardrobe would offer you. Church clothes? Sport-specific clothing? Officewear? Do you do a lot of formal events that require attire for certain dress codes? Do you do date night and girl's night outfits? For example: I need dependable workwear for after-hours farm calls so I keep about 5 items in my wardrobe that fit that function. I also keep a bit more workout clothing than some would since I work out 6 days a week.
In the same vein as number 3, are there places where you can increase cross-over between categories in your wardrobe? For example, choosing well-fitted tees that can be worn as under-scrubs and as casual tops around town?
Figure out if there are colors and shades that you look best in/feel the most confident in. There isn't a need to do the one-size-fits-all color analysis that TikTok and Instagram are constantly trying to sell you on reels based on the seasons. Figure out which colors you are complimented the most in, that you feel the best in, and that inspire the most positivity for you. Narrow it down to 4 or 5 colors for both colors and neutrals (blacks, grays, whites, nudes). I did 2-3 colors per season, plus my standard neutrals.
Figure out your style. Personally, I tend to have a fashion that draws inspiration from American traditional, southern prep, English country attire, and the fashions of foxhunting. Think Orvis, LL Bean, Cordings, Dubarry, Talbots, Tory Burch, Ted Baker, and Lily Pulitzer. In decor, I tend to be drawn toward colonial era antiques, leather upholstery, campaign furniture, heavy fabric drapes, ox tongue wood finishes over cherry, oil paintings, black marble, gray field stone, and polished brass. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but I found it by perusing fashions, furniture, decor, even TV and movies for things I adored.
Quality over Quantity: This is a big one. Rather than buying a new outfit every time I wanted to do something, or buying each cute accessory I saw and wanted to buy on impulse, I started getting really picky about the materials and workmanship in the things I purchased. Cheap may look good for a brief time, but it fades quickly. The things I buy now need to fit well, be of good material, be tailorable, have finished seams and edges, and be of substantial enough material that I trust that it will last me 2-10 years depending on the item, with some items being things I intend to only buy once in the cases of jewelry and scarves.
Cool off: This product looks like it would solve XYZ problem for me! Will it? Put it on a wish list and save it for later. If you still think it's going to revolutionize your life a month later, work it into the budget.
Quit buying from TikTok Shop, the majority of the stuff on there is drop-shipped junk made to capitalize on a quick trend, which is also part of why there's always pressure added to the pitch "before it sells out" "For less than the price of a coffee" "While the sale is on" if a product can be sold for $9 when it's usually $100, the deal is too good to be true, and the product won't last. Same goes for Shien and Forever 21 if I'm honest.
Focus on 1-2 items per season, an accessory, a cute top or a fun dress. Reducing my consumption to replacement levels plus 1 or 2 items has drastically cut my spending on fashion and decor. I also check second-hand stores first.
I went ahead and included some inspiration boards for you, one with pretty typical accessories for me, one to help better visualize my fashion sense, and then 2 palettes, my colors and my neutrals. I hope you all liked this, I'll also be doing a breakdown of my jewelry, vanity, and closet here soon.
Love,
upgrade your life by taking note of the objects you use most and slowly replace them with the most beautiful and high-quality versions of those things you can find.
૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა 11/02/24
express gratitude always ♡
today i've had this song on repeat for the entire day i cannot lie, it's brought me so much peace i love it so much. i've also been thinking about how much love and light is around me and how much importance is around me i cannot physically put into words how it makes me feel as of recent.
i was also thinking, is it possible to grieve the present? or is there another word for what im feeling, it's like i am hyper aware all that is happening in front of me and how much energy and molecules of matter exist in front of me and how i have the pleasure to be awake and breathing so much so that it makes me want to cry for hours on end.. the fact that my soul and body got a chance to co-exist in one reality? .. it seems almost dystopian even though its just life. i dont want anyone to dull this spark of gratitude that ive been feeling. its so euphoric, like genuine self love i suppose? i feel it in me in waves. i'm guessing its good energy.
i drank a lot of tea today, started a new lego piece and watched one of my fave kdramas. how i wish i could live a simple life like this after the school holiday period.
wait why would i wish when i can just believe
give yourself permission to be who you are, fear does not exist in a space where gratitude is always present. i always look at the life outside of my head and will forever remain grateful for it all being here, even if its negatively tied to my past. in the same respect i also choose to be who i've always wanted to be even if others look at it negatively ♡
If it feels hard to compliment you own body, to say positive statements, then please appreciate your body for what it can do for you, and it can be something as simples as “it keeps me alive”. It’s hard to immediately stop saying negative things about ourselves, and it might feel strange saying very positive things to it. Try saying neutral things first, than maybe slowly you can find new positive things that don’t feel too outlandish because it feels “fake”. It’s something that takes time for us to assimilate and for us to finally become a little more comfortable with our bodies. They’re doing the best they can with the circumstances, they are trying to survive. And if that’s the only thing you can appreciate, that’s a start. Changing the way we speak to ourselves might be a slow thing to get used to, but it is worth for you to have some peace of mind, even if it feels odd to say it. The repetition will help too, and you’ll find it less and less strange with time. Please be patient with yourself.
I guess what I hate the most about myself is the fact that I will probably never be as competent or desirable or pretty or quite literally anything compared to everyone around me.
If it feels hard to compliment you own body, to say positive statements, then please appreciate your body for what it can do for you, and it can be something as simples as “it keeps me alive”. It’s hard to immediately stop saying negative things about ourselves, and it might feel strange saying very positive things to it. Try saying neutral things first, than maybe slowly you can find new positive things that don’t feel too outlandish because it feels “fake”. It’s something that takes time for us to assimilate and for us to finally become a little more comfortable with our bodies. They’re doing the best they can with the circumstances, they are trying to survive. And if that’s the only thing you can appreciate, that’s a start. Changing the way we speak to ourselves might be a slow thing to get used to, but it is worth for you to have some peace of mind, even if it feels odd to say it. The repetition will help too, and you’ll find it less and less strange with time. Please be patient with yourself.
I think the goal is not to be perfect and try to change everything of us (or others too, as we project on them our "dark" sides) but to accept ourselves despite our imperfections and "flaws". No matter how much we try, we'll always end up doing or saying something that can be considered wrong or bad, even unconsciously. And that's completely okay. We interface with different people, and we cannot please everyone or we'll just go crazy. But we need to please ourselves and give us a break. Be kind with ourselves as we're just trying. Appreciate who we are, light and dark. We'll always make mistakes, we'll always make a wrong choice... Sure we can try to change what we really do not appreciate, the coping mechanisms that are hindering and making us suffer (the ones we're not even aware of), but we need to remember there's no recipe to be perfect as there's no real perfection. We can always try to be better but we cannot reach that perfection we aim to as it doesn't exist. We cannot be that to feel accepted and included, to feel seen and valued, to feel less alone: people change their mind as the wind anyway. But we can see all of who we are and welcome our darkest side and try to feel more content and... not make us feel alone by abandoning and neglecting a side of us that still exists and needs our love, even if we accuse it to not let us be accepted by others. Maybe if we accepted it, accepted our whole self, and knew us... maybe we'd feel less alone, more apt to see our light within without having to compare to others and more open to others too.
hey just so you know the amount of work you get done in a day does not determine your worth just sayin
The Two Mottos Of Life Are:
Beauty with brains.
Books with looks.
Reminder!
Your worth is NOT defined by:
Grades
Appearance
Weight
Height
Nationality
Gender
Race
Religion
Work
Degree
Illness
Disability (mental/physical)
Income
Your worth is not defined by anything. You are definitely worth it. You are enough. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Reminder
People who tell you to respect their boundaries and they don't respect yours are toxic.
People who constantly remind you about their favours are toxic
People who take up for someone but won't take up for you even if the situation is same are toxic
People who want respect but don't give respect are toxic
People who are nice can be toxic
People who expect you to cross oceans for them but they won't cross a puddle for you are toxic
People from your own family can be toxic
People from your friend group can be toxic
People who frustrate you purposely to irritate you are toxic
People who stress you out just for fun are toxic
People who blame you for expressing emotions are toxic
People who misuse your kindness are toxic.
People who call you "dramatic" and dismiss your emotions are toxic
People who take more than they give are toxic
People who don't want to adjust with you but expect you to are toxic
People who violate your peace of mind continuously are toxic
People who make you apologize for something that isn't your fault are toxic
People who make you seem like the bad guy are toxic.
People who never apologize for their faults are toxic
People who never acknowledge that they're wrong are toxic
People can be toxic. People can be toxic even if they're your family, friends, collogues, classmates, spouses. Remember. That.
It is better to be aware than to be ignorant. Don't let anyone treat you badly. You deserve all the respect you get.