Rae's Thoughts - Blog Posts
i consistently try to view my life as an outside observer so I don't have to think too hard, but today consciousness hit me like a train. covid was almost 5 years ago and through all the messed up crazy shit i am still here.
i wasn't supposed to make it to 13 after that horrible summer but i am here
i didn't want to make it to 14 after a life-changing situationship but I am here
i didn't know if i had the strength to make it to 15 but i am still here.
and now, finally i think I'm going to make it. sooner than later i will be 16 years old and one step closer to the rest of my life. just a thought
in 195 I NEED denji and asa to have a long conversation about the horrors they've witnessed since aging's world. if asa doesn't blow a hole through him ofc,, he's literally cursed to never live a normal life so I hope the girl that's legitimately perfect for him doesn't try to mess that up.
idk how i get over real life stuff tbh. im still not over the ending of assassination classroom and I've watched it 4 times
i don't care how nice they are you will NEVER catch me saying "but they didn't do anything to me".
my best friend is trans and his mom is a trump supporter. I've met this woman several times and she was nothing less than nice every time. once she even gave me a ride to color guard camp when she didn't have to. that doesn't mean i like her.
even if she wasn't a trump supporter, many of her beliefs go against what I stand for as a marginalized individual. she is racist, homo & transphobic, and more. she's also a terrible parent and i do not respect her. because though she's been kind, she fundamentally does not respect me or her own child and that's what matters.
yall do NOT start a romance webtoon in the middle of the night😠i was so invested i couldn't even sleep
the American public school system sucks hot ass. but thank God I'm English smart and got put in an honors class last year. every year since 7th grade i get a list of summer reading books i need to read and it's organized by class (English 1, 2, 3, 4 honors, AP eng lit and lang).
last year I was in English 2 and with each passing day of 2025 I am glad i own this book and didn't just listen to an audiobook or something.
this and 1984, Fahrenheit 451 etc are incredibly important to have PHYSICAL copies of because at this point we never know if or when they will be taken away. read. pick up a book and read, not spotify or audible, not a Kindle. you have to read. the government does not want us to be educated.
"gen z is so lazy" no Donna we just don't want to waste away in a 9 to 5 living paycheck to paycheck. it's 2025 and orange Hitler is back in office can we be fucking serious my god.
i do miss being in guard bc for the most part it was fun, and I met a lot of interesting people and went to places I've never been. but i hate that within my team there's such a stigma with not going into winterguard. color guard is fun and all but it is fucking EXHAUSTING. spending 4 weeks of my summer at school practicing in the hot sun. the injuries and pain, both physical and mental. the band director, who very often had no regard for the guard girls and boys having to go halfway across the field to reset for the 7th fucking time in a row. it was great to see the outcome at the end of the season (we won state) and it truly is amazing to be a part of but I just hate the shame for not wanting to do it all year. i want to have a life and take this winter season to rest before I'm back at it in April.
first day of camp
first show
first regional
second regional
last practice
day before state
this is going to be the longest 4 years ever. i'm a sophomore in high school (10th grade) and i'm probably not gonna be able to go to college since they stopped federal aid. I hope the people who voted for him are happy
ik i should be doing things elsewhere but like. by the time that abomination of a man gets out of office I'll be 19 and A LOT of the stuff he's doing affects people in my age range. i can't just sit and pretend nothing is going on like he isn't actively working to ruin my life, my future, and my friends and family's future.
we are so fucking cooked.