You say you're a virgin, so what's your definition of virginity?
(For your convenience, I have gotten into the habit of bolding the sentences that summarize my opinions, so you don’t have to read it all if you don’t want to.) So my friend was telling me this super awkward story today and the punchline was basically “and then he went to Australia!” -The intended joke being that Australia is…the land down under. So let’s go with this: My definition of virginity is someone who has never been to Australia! Or, by extension, I guess, someone who has never let someone else go to their Australia?? HahaOkay metaphor over. We all know the typical definition of sex that most people carry around in their heads: what might also be called “intercourse” - you know, penis in vagina, pretty straightforward. But then there’s “other stuff”. Anal sex, oral sex, and then stuff like fingering, and a handjob (What do you even call that? “Manual sex?”). I’ve heard people say “I’ve never had sex but I’ve done pretty much everything else.” Oh, story time! So I have these jeans that are made by the brand name Lucky. And when you unzip them, it says, RIGHT INSIDE THE ZIPPER, “Lucky you” which I think is hilarious! So I was telling my friend about them once and he goes “maybe I’ll be the first to see it” and I was like “uh, sure, if you wanna put a ring on my finger…….” and he was like “you can still have fun without a ring.” No. No you can’t. Not that kind of fun, anyway. I dunno, that’s just me. When someone says they’re “technically” a virgin, I don’t think they’re *actually* a virgin. You see, sexual health professionals consider all the “other stuff” real sex too, not just intercourse. Actually, I’ve read articles that say that masturbating is real sex too. I personally think that’s taking it a bit far. Sure, from a biological standpoint, when looking at arousal and orgasm and stuff like that - if that’s how you define sex - then yeah, masturbating is sex. But I define sex by the intimacy shared with another human being. And having someone’s hands or mouth down there is pretty much just as intimate as having a guy’s penis down there. You just can’t get pregnant. If it helps you understand it my definition a little better, I have rules for physical boundaries in dating:1) Don’t touch me anywhere that would be covered by a bikini. 2) No clothes are coming off.Pretty simple, but effective in preventing me from getting anywhere near sex. Like, even if someone breaks rule 1, when we come to our senses and stop it, there’s really not much harm done. But once you break rule 2, you’re a pretty slippery slope. I guess I just don’t really like living on the edge. I like to stay faaaaarr away from that line. I probably just wrote waaayy more than necessary. I’m sorry I’m so wordy! Haha yeah soooo….basically anything involving the below-the-belt area is sex, and anyone who has had sex is not a virgin, ergo anyone who has participated in below-the-belt activities is not a virgin. Again, a reminder, that’s *MY* definition of virginity. I would not be arrogant enough to tell anyone else what to do or what not to do. Peace and love! -KatherineP.S. The link to my blog is on facebook and the other day my mom mentioned something to me about something I had posted here. So, hi mom… :P (actually, mama Milly is pretty blunt, and wouldn’t even bat an eyelid reading this post.)
Do you think there are any situations in which abortions are an acceptable option?
So someone asked a veerrryy similar question to this one, so I sort of answered it already, but I’ll talk a leeetle bit more. To be brief: For me, personally, um…no. Haha I know that’s super blunt and you might wonder how I can answer so definitively. I can answer confidently, unequivocally “no” because my personal view of the subject is that abortion is murder, and I don’t murder. Ergo, I would not be able to kill the child inside of me (hypothetically). People think different things and make different decisions based on what they think. Someone might read this and say “Katherine, you’re WRONG.” Okay, well, if you think something other than what I think, obviously you’re gonna make different decisions than me, right? :P SO, because of that, I am literally incapable of telling any other person on the planet what is acceptable for them. I know what is acceptable for me, based on my opinions and beliefs, but I don’t know everyone else’s opinions and beliefs. And I know that there are soooo many complicated, complex situations that could possibly arise out there in this big messed up world. But I do know, that for me, abortion is never an option. I personally believe that in an situation, God is able to help me out if I don’t know what to do (Because if you believe that God exists, you have to believe that He is big enough to handle your problems, and to do the impossible). So…yeah. There you go, my very black and white beliefs, haha :PPeace and love! -Katherine
What is your opinion on abortion? Especially in cases where consummation was due to rape?
Basically, “a person’s a person, no matter how small.” - Horton Hears A Who, Dr. Seuss.
If you’re super curious, you can read this blog post by someone I admire greatly, pastor and theologian John Piper. I think that through some miracle, as soon as the sperm unites with the egg, no matter how you break it down to the molecular level, that’s a new person. I don’t think that it’s part of the mother’s body, because each new cell being formed contains a full complement of DNA that is made up of DNA that comes from two separate people and not just from the mother. The DNA in each of those cells codes for a hair colour, an eye colour, a height and a gender. It’s the unique DNA of a person who is an entity unto themselves. And as a Christian, I don’t believe that any human has the right to decide when any other human should die. To me, that child inside of me (hypothetically) is a human. God makes each and every single one of us special and beautiful and He loves us individually. There are verses in the bible that tell us that He knows us before we’re born, that His eyes saw our unformed bodies (Psalm 139:16). Like I said before, if God said it, that’s a good enough reason for me. In the ‘traditional’ (for lack of a better word) case, the sex was consensual but unprotected, resulting in an unwanted pregnancy. Let’s use suspension of disbelief and operate in a theoretical world for a minute here. In such a case, some might say that it’s the woman’s “choice” to have an abortion. You know what I think is a choice? Having sex. Even past that, you know what else is a choice? Using a condom. In today’s western society, there is NO EXCUSE for an unwanted pregnancy. We have the technology and we have the education. If you don’t want to get pregnant, you don’t have to. Any kid can waltz into planned parenthood and get birth control without their parents even knowing. HOW!? I ask you, do people still manage to get pregnant “accidentally”? So for me, once you’re pregnant, you’ve already made your choice, and now you have to face the consequences. Okay, now we have to face the situation where sex was not a choice, and conception was due to rape. Obviously, I have never been in this situation and hopefully never will, but you never know. That’s why I’ve already decided that abortion is never an option for me. I don’t care what you say, I honestly can’t even consider the thought of killing the baby inside of me (hypothetically). It’s not even just an intellectual, religious standpoint. Whether this adds to the validity or not, it’s also a highly emotional standpoint. I CANNOT think of killing that child. Cause here’s the thing. It’s not the child’s fault. And if we’re still operating on the assumption that that’s a real PERSON, we can’t kill him or her for someone else’s crime. Also, just so you know, many women who have been raped, gotten pregnant and had an abortion, said that the abortion was more invasive and traumatic than the rape. AND many women who have been raped, gotten pregnant and had the baby, said that having the baby was cathartic in a way, and helped them see something positive that came from such a negative experience, and thereby helped with the healing process. I’ve heard girls say that they would never have an abortion unless they were raped. And I’m like “hold up now,” cause is that like it’s murder most of the time, unless you were raped, then it’s not murder? Like, whut? See to me, abortion is either always wrong, or not. And to me, it’s always wrong. To reiterate, this is my opinion. And I’m working with abstract ideas and concepts here. That’s how I think best. I’m just trying to give you an idea of my worldview as it pertains to a philosophical issue. As I’ve said before, and will say again, no decision you have ever made, whether it be different from my decisions or not, will change my opinion of you.
Jesus said that the most important commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength (okay, cool, makes sense) BUUUTTT….the SECOND most important commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 22:37-39; Mark 12:29-31) And there are entire chapters of the bible devoted entirely to the importance of loving people (1 Corinthians 13) So! Here are the facts:
Fact Number 1: Jesus loves you. Like, He really, REALLY loves you. Deeply, passionately, intimately, overwhelmingly. He loves you enough to die for you. He loves you so much that He DESPERATELY wants to have a personal relationship with you - to talk to you, to hear your thoughts and to walk with you through this life. Fact Number 2: I love you. I think that every single person in the world deserves to be loved and deserves to be respected simply due to the fact that you are a person and God made you and loves you. Okay, so now we’ve established that Jesus loves you and I love you, for no other reason than the fact that you’re alive, and no matter what. That cannot be altered, edited, ignored, abated, cancelled out, destroyed or denied.
^That’s like my mantra of life, you guys. And nothing changes it. If you are reading this, and you are someone who has had an abortion, obviously I’m not in your shoes, I don’t have your life, and I don’t know your situation. And I will NEVER EVER judge you. I’m just talking about my choices, which are a completely personal thing. Peace and love! -KatherineP.S. I’m answering all these questions on the assumption that they come from good-natured curiosity, and that you genuinely want to know what I think. I don’t want to spark debates, and I definitely don’t want to participate in them. I’m not into arguing about my faith. P.P.S If I ever offend you or hurt you by something I write, please let me know. I know that I sometimes speak (or write) without thinking. I’m trying to be honest, but gracious, and I might accidentally say something dumb sometime. If I do, let me know and I will definitely apologize and do my best to repair any damage. I’m gonna put my email address in the blog description so you can contact me privately if you want.
What's your opinion on pregnancy outside of marriage?
(To skip all the words, scroll to the bottom where it says “in conclusion”)Let’s start this one straight up. Jesus said to save sex for marriage. That alone is a good enough reason for me, because I think that God prooobably knows what He’s talking about. But that’s just me. However, here are some reasons why I, in my 19-year-old, human, finite wisdom (so much sarcasm) agree with Him:1) Humans are made to be monogamous. It’s true! We’re always looking for ‘that special someone’. If you don’t know Jesus, a meaningful romantic relationship is sometimes the most…spiritual and transcendent experience in your life. And if you do, it’s probably the second-most spiritual and transcendent experience. We have an inherent tendency to be co-dependent, to define ourselves by someone else. Not saying it’s healthy, just saying it’s true. 2) Ergo, there is a lot of psychological and physiological crap that goes along with sex. For example, sex releases oxytocin, known as the “cuddle hormone” which stimulates feelings of well-being and affection for your partner. It strengthens bonds between sexual partners and between mother and breast-feeding child. Besides that, sex is such a high level of intimacy and vulnerability (you are literally surrendering EVERYTHING to the other person) that it has a huuge effect on our psyche. One of my friends had sex with a guy when she was like 15 or 16 and she could not get over the guy for years and years, even though he was an idiot. Up to TWO THIRDS of prostitutes suffer from post traumatic stress disorder! Because we weren’t meant to live like that. I am a firm believer that a girl who has many sexual partners with no meaningful relationships is showing the symptoms of very low self-esteem and a deep and abiding lack of self-respect. 3) And so, I think that such a level of intimacy, that will have such a big effect on your psyche, should only be achieved with someone to whom you have pledge the rest of your life. Because with such a person, you know you trust them. You trust them enough to let them see the real you, all of you, all your strengths and weaknesses. You are already completely vulnerable with them because they see all your flaws and love you anyway, therefore you are free to be physically vulnerable with them as well. And the psychological effects of sex will only strengthen your relationship, which is great! Okay so now we’ve gotten that out of the way. And that’s really the root “issue” here. Not pregnancy per se, but extramarital sex. You only said pregnancy outside of marriage, which is of course NOT synonymous with teen pregnancy, but I’d like to indulge in a little tangent, if you’ll allow me (haha you have no choice :P) and discourse on that subject briefly. Here are a couple more, rather pragmatic reasons why I think teen pregnancy is a bad idea: 1) When you have a baby, you have to care for a whole other entire person! That is a HUUUUGE responsibility, and I’m not saying you’re not ready for it (although I know I’m definitely not), but I am saying that pretty much EVERY SINGLE OTHER THING in your life becomes secondary to this baby. School, work, friends, hobbies, EVERYTHING falls lower on the priority list than this baby. That could really throw a wrench in your future plans. 2) It IS nice for a child to have the stability of two parents whom a) the child actually knows and b) are constant in the child’s life. That would be the ideal case in a perfect world. This world’s far from perfect. I know that’s not always possible. But if it is, I’d suggest that you do that for you child. Try to give them two parents who will always be there for them. Don’t let them wonder who their mommy or daddy is. Don’t let them watch a string of boyfriends or girlfriends go through your life and never stay long enough to form anything more than a superficial relationship with your child. You know that’s gonna haunt them their whole life.Okay moving on! Obvs, I don’t know your life. I don’t know what you’ve been through. I have had a suuuper safe, sheltered life. I’m 19 and still a virgin, and I wear a purity ring which symbolizes my decision to save sex for marriage. Of course, my opinion’s gonna be biased. Furthermore, like I said in my last answer to a question about homosexuality, Jesus loves you! In fact, imma just block quote that whole part of the answer.
Jesus said that the most important commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength (okay, cool, makes sense) BUUUTTT….the SECOND most important commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 22:37-39; Mark 12:29-31) And there are entire chapters of the bible devoted entirely to the importance of loving people (1 Corinthians 13) So! Here are the facts: Fact Number 1: Jesus loves you. Like, He really, REALLY loves you. Deeply, passionately, intimately, overwhelmingly. He loves you enough to die for you. He loves you so much that He DESPERATELY wants to have a personal relationship with you - to talk to you, to hear your thoughts and to walk with you through this life. Fact Number 2: I love you. I think that every single person in the world deserves to be loved and deserves to be respected simply due to the fact that you are a person and God made you and loves you. Okay, so now we’ve established that Jesus loves you and I love you, for no other reason than the fact that you’re alive, and no matter what. That cannot be altered, edited, ignored, abated, cancelled out, destroyed or denied.
So if someone has had sex, or did get pregnant outside of marriage, IN NO WAY does that make them a bad person, or make them unholy, or make God mad at them, or make God (or me) love them any less. You are still a beautiful person, worthy of love! Just because I personally have made different choices in my life than you does not mean that I disapprove of you or am judging you or think any less or you, or even any differently of you! In fact, if one of my close friends had a baby, I would actually probably be SO happy to be their auntie Katherine. In conclusion, I think sex outside of marriage is a bad idea. But Jesus loves you and I love you even if you have had sex outside of marriage. Peace and love!-KatherineP.S. Just to establish this, I don’t like abortion (since it’s kind of a propos). So now that’s out there. P.P.S. I am loving these questions! Keep them coming!
What's your opinion on homosexuality?
(If you don’t wanna read all those words, just skip to the bottom where it says “Moral of the story”)Jesus said that the most important commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength (okay, cool, makes sense) BUUUTTT….the SECOND most important commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 22:37-39; Mark 12:29-31) And there are entire chapters of the bible devoted entirely to the importance of loving people (1 Corinthians 13) So! Here are the facts: Fact Number 1: Jesus loves you. Like, He really, REALLY loves you. Deeply, passionately, intimately, overwhelmingly. He loves you enough to die for you. He loves you so much that He DESPERATELY wants to have a personal relationship with you - to talk to you, to hear your thoughts and to walk with you through this life. Fact Number 2: I love you. I think that every single person in the world deserves to be loved and deserves to be respected simply due to the fact that you are a person and God made you and loves you. Okay, so now we’ve established that Jesus loves you and I love you, for no other reason than the fact that you’re alive, and no matter what. That cannot be altered, edited, ignored, abated, cancelled out, destroyed or denied. Moving on…I cannot confidently give you an opinion on Nature vs Nurture. If science has yet to confirm the varying influences of these conflicting forces, I will not presume to attempt to do so. I have a basic knowledge of the bible (as in, I’ve read it and journaled about it lol) and limited knowledge of the research behind the genetic role in homosexuality. Therefore, I am not qualified to give you my opinion in that area. Interestingly, I recently read a novel for my English course called Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson, which is both her debut novel and an autobiographical novel (while not actually being an autobiography). It’s about a girl who grows up in a Pentecostal household (which happens to be my denomination) in northern England in the 60s and turns out to be a lesbian. Which, I’m sure you can guess, causes all sorts of conflict in her family and in her church community. The religious characters in the novel condemned her, saying that it was a malicious act of will on her part. They said stuff like “You made an immoral proposition that cannot be countenanced.” and “Never trust a sinner.” Those quotes made me pretty angry because they demonstrate a fundamental misunderstanding of the nature of God and sin. About halfway through the novel, in the margin of the page, I penciled the words “Byes don’t know the bible.” (I’m from Newfoundland. We say byes.) Because EVERYONE’S A SINNER! And the very nature or sin has nothing to do with willpower. You can’t magically wish yourself holy. You know? The people in the book seem to think that if one wants to be a ‘good’ person, to be perfect and righteous, you just have to choose to do so. Which is crap! People are not good. We are physically incapable of being good, by nature of the fact that we are born in to sin and we suffer from what is called “the human condition” (which just means being mortal and making mistakes). I’m not sure how that relates to homosexuality, but I hope that gives you some insight into my view of humanity and perfection in general. Finally, like I said in my last answer, I think that EVERYBODY NEEDS JESUS! As aforementioned, Jesus loves you and desperately wants a relationship with you. And I personally believe that you would benefit greatly from a relationship with Him. Everybody. Heterosexual, Homosexual, Transsexual, Bisexual, Asexual! EVERYBODY, no matter who you are, what you look like, where you come from, what you’ve done, where you’ve been, what you’ve been through. He loves you RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW! And He wants to have a relationship with you exactly how you are right here right now. To wrap this up, if Jesus thinks there’s something in your life you need to change…whether it be pride, laziness, gossip, lust, whatever….He’ll tell you. And I will try to focus on what He’s trying to tell ME! And I’ll keep trying to work on my issues and not presume to discern what He wants to tell you. Moral of the story: My job is to love, not judge.
Peace and love!-Katherine