Poly Skz X Reader - Blog Posts

chapter 10.0 ☆ all in

wc: 5,115

cw: swearing, needles, little bit of blood, crying, science talk

a/n: *throws my genetics special interest at you and runs away* (this is not the end)

I promise this is not as angsty as the warnings make out to be haha

I was going to get this out earlier but I got my period and got sick at the same time so I've been completely wiped out... rip

"we know."

of course. of course. well, that solved one problem... sort of. not really. but it definitely made it a whole lot easier.

yn glanced down at their knee, exposed but framed by some hot pink kt tape with a barbie hot wheels pattern, before looking back up at the trio, nodding tersely. "... yeah." they muttered, leaning against the doorframe, gently scratching bingus's fluffy butt.

their soul mark wasn't completely there yet, but it was more readable than it had been in the last 11 years. it was strangely satisfying, watching it come back together. yn had spent some time examining it after their encounter with minho and seungmin a week ago, seeing how the pieces had fit back into place. it didn't hurt, it felt... odd. a light but annoyingly noticeable sensation under their skin. itchy, the kind of itchy that you couldn't get at.

"who's at the door?" minji called out from back in the apartment.

yn looked back over their shoulder at their friends, grimacing a little as bingus dug his claws into their shoulder to prevent falling off, and definitely made it known that he wasn't happy with their movement.

it really was good timing... just, not so great at the same time if the trio hadn't wanted to be seen by anyone else. yn sighed quietly, pinching their brow. "just... come in, I guess..." they said wearily.

this late in the evening was not the time for thinking very deeply. they could already feel a headache forming. maybe that was just from the stress-induced jaw clenching that had started up again today. thinking about how to break it to your best friend that you'd been hiding a major secret from him for almost a decade was... definitely not the easiest.

the vibe was awkward. not really the relaxed lego building session it once was – although, how relaxed it was in the current situation was debatable. chika, ever the unflappable, took it in her stride like a champ.

"oh my god, hii," she said, smiling and waving at hyunjin. "it's good to see you again."

hyunjin looked a little surprised for a second, but returned the action with a small grin. the three newcomers stood close together just inside the entryway, like something would bite if they moved any further in. that something would probably be bingus, so maybe it was smart.

seungmin was somewhat calm, hands in pockets as he looked discreetly around the apartment – and suddenly, yn was very aware of the pile of laundry taking up a good amount of the couch, the dishes next to the sink, and the ripped curtains, courtesy of one of bingus's catnip induced zoomies sessions, doing their best to cover the full length window.

hyunjin wasn't so composed. at first glance, he might have seemed it, but the way he was shifting on his feet and fiddling with his flat cap told a different story.

and minho? he was staring straight at yn, assessing them in a way that made them feel like he could see their soul. they hadn't bothered to put much effort in this evening, just a random sonic shirt and some sleep shorts. now yn was wishing that they'd has some premonitory sense and at least worn some proper clothes. it was unsettling, to say the least, his sharp eyes piercing them right to the core. 

"the timing is... truly impeccable," minji said, an amused but mildly baffled expression on her face. she shot a smirk in yn's direction, raising her eyebrows as if to say 'go on' and sat back in her chair, crossing her muscley arms. she was enjoying this immensely. 

"so you figured it out, then?" yn asked quietly, leaning back against their kitchen counter.

"i think the fact that my skin wouldn't stop itching where you touched me for two hours after you left sold it for me," minho said, matter-of-factly. 

"ah. well. that'll do it." yn still didn't completely believe that their soul mark could just change like that at the touch of a soulmate, but the evidence was right in front of their eyes, as much as they were reluctant to believe it. however, they supposed, soul marks in and of themselves were a crazy phenomenon, so was this really anything to be so surprised about? weird miracles of the natural world.

"who are...?" minho trailed off, glancing at yn's friends.

"oh, um. minji and chika," yn replied, pointing at both of them in turn. "my friends. hyunjin's already met chika at a versace event."

"so you're the friend he was talking about," he murmured. "i was right."

"what?"

"nothing."

it seemed minji just couldn't hold it in anymore, and began snickering to herself, the hand in front of her mouth doing absolutely nothing to hide it. not that she was trying to – she was absolutely loving this. chika was less obvious about it, but the expression on her face and the way she was twirling her fork in her hands had a certain air about it.

yn elected to ignore the both of them, rolling their eyes. "why did you bring hyunjin?"

"testing the theory."

well, yn had to respect that. it definitely gave him points in their book. they were all for the scientific method.

"that's fair..." yn leaned back into the edge of the counter as bingus hopped off their shoulders and onto the top. he sat next to them emanating a distinctly superior energy, giving the three men intruding on his property an appraising look. despite his demeanour, yn knew that he viewed every stranger as a new friend, and it would only be a matter of time before he began fawning over them, purring and rubbing all over them like they were covered in catnip. bingus was a weirdly social cat. 

"so, uh..." yn held their hand out to hyunjin. "you wanna test it..?" it wasn't like they didn't already know, but just to cement it, properly. it was really more for everyone else.

hyunjin's gaze immediately dropped to the floor with a bashful expression. for someone who exuded so much confidence on stage, he sure was shy off it. he took a few steps closer, until he was in arms reach, extending his hand out.

the tension in the air was so thick you could almost feel it hanging there. even bingus didn't make a sound, just watching, in opposition to his usual chatty self.

their fingers were just about to touch, but-

"wait."

minji's arm shot out, grabbing hyunjin's wrist at lightening speed. yn made eye contact with her, and they knew they were both thinking the same thing.

"what's going on?" hyunjin asked, a confused furrow forming in his brow.

yn groaned. "dr jang would kill me if I didn't..." they muttered, before darting off further into their apartment in a speed walk.

when they came back, yn was juggling a few things in their hands.

"why the fuck do you have microfuges in your apartment?" minji asked, in what was probably a suitable amount of bemusement. even for the most avid of researchers, it wasn't exactly common to have lab equipment hanging out around your home.

"cuz." yn shrugged, setting down the little rack and placing the microfuges into the slots. "my dad got them for me before I started uni. and a micropipette. real shockingly, I've never used them before."

"what would you even use them for...?" minji blinked in a stupefied manner, before shaking her head. "speaking of... has your dad come around yet?"

yn grimaced. "you'd think, after five years. we talked about it last time I visited... wasted about two hours because apparently the literal fact that sex and gender aren't the same is 'dogma' or something. i've sent him several links to the studies proving it, but... he hasn't responded." pulling the cap off a marker, they numbered the tops of the microfuges, chewing their bottom lip. 

"oof." there wasn't really much else to say. yn had a perfectly fine relationship with their parents other than that... usually. most of the time, yn could forget about the way their parents refused to accept them, but every so often the topic resurfaced and ate at them a little more.

yn pulled out a needle from where they'd stuck it through their shirt, gesturing at minji. "can you- thanks." they mumbled, catching the lighter chucked at them with ease.

"... what are you doing?" minho asked.

"dr jang in my department... she researches soul marks and stuff. i'm pretty sure she'd skin me alive if i didn't get a record of this." it took yn... more than a few tries to get the lighter working. they were never that good at things like that, but eventually they managed to get it working and ran the flame under the needle to sterilize it. "and, like... i get this is a whole thing, but i'm also scared of her, and considering she's never even heard of someone's soul mark remaking itself, i don't think she'd be a massive fan of me if i didn't get some evidence."

"you say that like she doesn't love you," minji said. "you're one hundred percent her favourite colleague."

"to be fair... there isn't much choice," yn said, clearing their throat pointedly. a lot of their fellow professors were a bit... snobby was a way to put it. most of them were older men, who seemed to think they were god's gift to humanity, and demanded respect just because of their age and gender while giving none of their own. sure, they had more experience, but that didn't necessarily mean they were right.

yn was just about to use the needle to draw some blood, when bingus chose that exact moment to make his presence known, throwing his head back with a yowl. "ugh. pest." yn set the needle down, plodding over to the cupboard that housed their multitude of pills and supplements. but first, treats. bingus demanded to be fed at the same time every day, so it was easy to use him as an alarm – give him a treat every day at the same time you took your meds, and you were never allowed to miss them.

"there you go, squish," yn murmured affectionately after shaking out a couple of treats for their cat, stroking down his back. bingus accepted them greedily, wolfing them down while purring loudly.

swapping the treat bag for their pill container, yn sat back down at the table, using their soda to swallow the tablets.

seungmin took that moment to speak up for the first time that night. "that's... a lot."

yn huffed. it was true, they took a lot of medication, but it was for a reason. "if my body was a temple, that temple would be old and crumbling."

"... is that why you have greys already?"

it wasn't like they weren't expecting it. yn's grey streaks still hadn't been re-dyed yet because life had gotten in the way so the roots were showing, and they had a number of grey hairs dotted around their scalp. they'd also seen enough stray kids content to know the amount of old person jokes seungmin made. but this quickly? damn. "um. well. maybe. i think it's just stress and genetics. i promise i'm not that ancient."

seungmin raised an eyebrow, pursing his lips subtly, and cocking his hip to lean against the counter. it was annoyingly attractive.

in a moment of weakness, yn poked their tongue out at him petulantly, before promptly choking on their magnesium supplement. that one always had it out for them, anyway.

by the time it finally went down yn had tears in their eyes and an awful, powdery taste in their mouth.

"having fun there?" chika asked, giggling quietly in a way that yn couldn't even be mad at.

"actually shut the fuck up."

yn winced as they stuck the needle into the tip of their middle finger, before squeezing a few drops of blood into the first microfuge. there were probably better ways to do it, but yn didn't know how or have the equipment for it. a little rudimentary, but anything to save themselves from the wrath of their colleague. 

"you're very calm about this," hyunjin mumbled, looking warily at the needle.

"i've had about 50 blood tests, i'm used to it," yn responded. "should i get saliva samples...? mm.. no, i don't have the patience for that. alright." stretching their arms above their head, yn couldn't help but let out a little groan as their back popped and shoulder clunked concerningly – and notice how hyunjin's eyes darted down to their exposed midriff. they extended their hand to him for a second time. "let's do this."

hyunjin's hand was warm. soft. big. static shocks were swapped between both of their palms as hyunjin tightened his grip. gentle, but firm.

yn felt... odd. the other times, it was in passing. this time it was a thing. they could feel it happening, feel the slight tingle running over their knee, feel how close he was. they squirmed gently in their chair, their eyes darting from their intertwined hands, to their knee, to anywhere else.

out of the corner of their eye, yn could see chika trying to sneakily film the interaction. she wasn't very good at hiding it. maybe it was a good thing. to get more evidence for dr jang.

looking down at their knee again, yn watched their soul mark change for the first time. they almost couldn't believe it, but... there it was. right there. sure, their eyesight was pretty trash but it was pretty hard to deny it like when it was like that.

"woah... that's..." hyunjin looked how yn felt: completely stupefied. it was one thing seeing their mark after the change, but seeing it happen? wild.

"... yeah," yn breathed out. there was no denying it now. the secret was well and truly out. and honestly? it was kind of a relief. yn hadn't realized just how much it had been weighing on them until now. maybe seven years of repression wasn't good for you. who knew? "what... happens now?"

"i think you should come back with us. meet everyone else... we've been waiting to meet you."

"oh i should, should i?" yn asked, letting go of hyunjin's hand and reaching for the needle again. "i... i'm not sure... i have work tomorrow... and bingus... i can't leave him alone..."

"oh, come off it," minji groaned, her exasperation evident. "pack an overnight bag. chika and i can stay here and watch your baby. you've put it off for too long, i'll force you out myself if i have to."

"i-..." yn sighed. an overnight bag? how long would they be staying there? a while, realistically. when it happened, it was going to be a long, uncomfortable conversation, about uncomfortable things – about why they had felt the need to hide for so long from the people that were meant to love them most.

yn glanced over at their friends, at chika's encouraging smile, and minji's insistent expression. if they really wanted to do this, like they said they did, then they had to face the music. "... fine."

everything was in order. kind of. yn had their overnight bag, although there was bound to be at least one thing they forgot, like always. it was inevitable. but it was really happening.

"okay, you can sleep in my bed if you want just-... no freaky stuff." yn gave both girls a pointed look.

"hey! we're not that bad," chika protested.

"i still have stains on my couch." that shut them up. "you know the drill with bingus – he will bite your toes under the covers, if you don't get up to give him food in the morning he will make it your problem, and you know the coffee machine- yeah, you can work it, fine... stay safe. lock the door. everything else."

"it'll be fine," minji reassured them, patting yn on the shoulder. "you don't need to worry about us. go get your guys."

"mm," yn hummed. "but if i find any more weird stains on my furniture, you're buying me new ones. freaks."

"yeah, but we're your favourite freaks," chika said with a wink.

"whatever helps you sleep at night." yn turned to minho (who was currently getting his fingers gnawed on by a very happy bingus), hyunjin and seungmin, trying to work out in their head who would fit best in their extra set of motorbike leathers. technically, they fit chan the best, but those with astute observational abilities could tell that he wasn't here right now. and since two of them were probably too tall, that left minho to go on the bike with them.

they chucked the set at him, which he caught deftly before minho's brain caught up with his hands. he examined them for a moment, holding them up to himself in mild confusion.

"to preface, i'm simply not going in a car, but I also don't fully trust myself to get to a new address alone because i am... directionally challenged."

"do i really need to wear these?" minho asked skeptically.

"do you want a nurse to be picking gravel out of you?" yn asked brightly. "you can be slightly warm and uncomfortable, or unsafe. pick your poison."

sensibly, minho chose to wear the leathers.

"... you good?" yn asked minho as they sat on their bike in the parking garage, inputting the address for the dorms into their phone before zipping into one of their pockets.

minho was... antsy, clipping and unclipping the buckle of the strap on yn's spare helmet. he'd been much more confident about going on the bike with them earlier, in the apartment. currently, he was eyeing it like it would bite him. yn got it to an extent, the first time they'd realised they actually had to ride one, it was pretty daunting. it wasn't like he actually had to do anything, though. just hold on and help in case yn got lost. but right now, he was the one looking lost.

yn stood up off the bike, taking the helmet gently out of minho's hands and fitting it over his head and doing up the strap for him. "comfortable?"

he nodded, searching them with his big, pretty eyes. it wasn't intense, per say, but yn's breath hitched when they caught his gaze, flicking the visor down over his eyes to avoid becoming even more flustered. yn knew that being his soulmate would come with... increased susceptibility to him, but they'd only met minho twice. goddamn.

swinging their leg over the bike, yn sat back down and pulled their own helmet over their head – of course it was matching with the rest of their gear, with cat ears and sanrio decals, because of course.

"uh... you know you have to sit behind me to ride..." minho slid on behind them, and yn could feel the awkwardness radiating from him in waves. "and, um.. hold on to my waist..."

ever so carefully, minho rested his hands around yn's middle. they almost laughed at how light his touch was, knowing it wouldn't remain that way for too long. 

"how are you going to know where to go?" minho asked, his voice slightly muffled.

"my helmet has a bluetooth thing that i can hear directions though. hold on tight," yn warned.

luckily, he heeded their warning as soon as the bike started up, his grip maybe a tad too snug. at least he wouldn't be falling off.

the drive was pretty short, which was a bit of a relief when minho was squeezing yn like a stress ball. he seemed glad to be back on solid ground by the time it was over. seemed... dramatic, but the way he tripped and fell taking off the leathers, and the embarrassed look on his face made yn promise themselves to not tell anyone. for now.

when yn finally walked into the dorm with minho, everything went quiet. not just quiet – dead silent.

yn's heart was pounding against their ribs as everyone turned to look at them from their various positions sprawled out over the couch and the floor. hyunjin and seungmin had arrived there before minho and yn. it was incredibly daunting, having all their eyes on them all at once, and they couldn't help but to fidget anxiously with the hem of their shirt, softly tapping the toe of their shoe against the floor as they leaned against their cane.

"um. hi," yn forced out, their voice hoarse. 

a small gasp came from across the room, deafeningly loud in the quiet space. "are you our..?" felix's voice trailed off, his big brown eyes wide and hopeful.

yn had to swallow down the frog in their throat before they could respond. "i... yes. i am."

yn blinked and felix was in front of them, almost vibrating with excitement. his eyes roamed over their face, drinking in the sight.

they hadn't really known what to expect when it finally happened, but it wasn't... this. a part of yn had always wondered if the first thing people saw about them was the cane, or the tape holding their joints together. to be completely fair, they did make it kind of obvious, with bright colours and patterns, eyes were naturally drawn to that kind of thing – but so was the rest of yn's attire, usually, and their hair. but it seemed like felix's eyes were glued to just... them.

felix reached out hesitantly, his hands hovering in front of yn, but not touching. his throat bobbed as he pulled back slightly, a small, apologetic smile gracing his features.

yn couldn't help but shyly return the smile, before they found themselves being ushered further into the forms and sat onto the end of the couch, everyone else keeping a respectful distance. although, despite the distance, it didn't stop most of them from staring shamelessly.

in lieu of any actual conversation, yn reached into their bag, the keychains attached jingling and clacking against each other, and pulled out their little box of microfuges. they set it on the coffee table along with the needle and lighter.

"sorry about your laptop," changbin muttered sheepishly from beside them. 

yn snorted, unable to hold it back. even now, he was still apologetic about the incident. technically, it had been kind of a big thing – laptops were expensive, and a pretty necessary part of their life... but, then again, he'd rectified it almost as quickly as he'd caused the problem. "it's fine. really."

"you've met before?" jisung piped up, his voice muffled through a mouthful of ramen.

"yeah. he, uh... spilled three drinks over my old laptop. and me."

"did you manage to get the stain out of your trousers?" changbin asked, fidgeting with his chopsticks.

"it took a few goes with the stain remover, but... they're fine now. which is good, because they're my favourite, and if it hadn't come out i might have gone through chan to be reimbursed," yn joked, before they saw his flustered blush get darker. "i'm kidding. i could have replaced them myself. i stain my clothes all the time, it's not a big deal."

"... how many of us have met you before?" jisung asked, furrowing his brows.

"well, we met them through... the cat thing," seungmin said, looking at minho.

"it was the video call for me," hyunjin mumbled, looking vaguely embarrassed.

"i've known chan for, like... fifteen years," yn added after some quick mental maths. time really flew by.

"how old are you?" jeongin asked.

"i just turned twenty nine."

"damn." jeongin cleared his throat, looking away and scratching the back of his neck. "sorry."

"so..." jisung shoved a lettuce leaf into his mouth before continuing, his cheeks puffing up with food. "it's just me, felix and ayen who haven't met you yet?"

yn hummed contemplatively, tilting their head to the side. "i've been in contact with jeongin before. at the dentist. not a proper meeting, though."

"really?" it took a few seconds, but realisation dawned soon enough. "oh. with the hair. right," jeongin said, gesturing at his fringe, more to himself than anyone else.

"and, i'm fairly confidant on this..." yn pulled out their phone, snapping a quick picture of their hand before messaging it to what they were almost certain was jisung's number-

-and it was, his phone vibrating half a second later. jisung's eyes bulged out of his head for a few moments as he glanced between his screen and yn's hand repeatedly. 

"how do you have jisung's number?" felix asked.

"oh, i... thought i was texting someone else. she changed her number." yn trained their eyes on the little racks on microfuges, absentmindedly drumming their fingers against their thighs. "and then he said his name was jisung, and he was twenty four and fate had been giving me a kick up the ass so... i kind of thought it would end up like that."

"ah." he nodded slowly. "... what are those for?"

"science stuff," seungmin answered for yn.

"well... yeah, i guess. i'm collecting dna samples for my colleague." yn turned to felix with what was probably a slightly constipated expression and took a breath before asking the question. "can i, um. touch you?"

felix's face went pink. there was a lot of that going around recently. his face didn't move a muscle, he just sat there for a few seconds with a politely mystified expression while his face went several shades darker. 

yn ran through their words in their head. "not- not like that. for the... science stuff. and also it's making my soul mark fix itself? somehow? i'm not sure how that's happening, but it is, and..."

another few excruciating seconds ticked by, before felix's face split into an endearing grin, his eyes sparkling. "you want to hold my hand?"

"i mean, if you're comfortable with that," yn mumbled, taken aback by his enthusiasm.

felix proffered his hand, and yn took it gently, trying not to stare at his arms like a creep. they were nice arms. from a purely anatomical perspective, of course. he had nice veins. they bet nurses liked him.

getting the dna evidence while working around felix's hand holding was fiddly, but he wasn't letting go any time soon. and yn didn't want to ask him to let go, either. not that they would admit it. they had forgotten how much they enjoyed doing this kind of thing. of course, they did it with chika and minji sometimes; yn and their friends were touchy people. but this was different. more... intimate.

yn's first physical interaction with jisung was much more short-lived, and accidental at that. he reached over to grab his drink, yn went to put the microfuge back in its slot – skin brushed skin, and the two of them locked eyes. jisung blinked, and pulled away as a static shock passed between their fingers. he let out a melodramatic cry, his head falling back into hyunjin's lap, who moved a hand to pat his head with a nonchalance that showed that this wasn't an infrequent occurrence.

"so... you said all of this is a genetic thing?" minho spoke up.

"oh, yeah. they're still not sure what causes it, but... it's different for each group of soulmates, and polygenic if you have more than one soulmate, which is what makes it hard so to study-"

"-polygenic?" jeongin asked.

"caused by multiple genes. but, you know, people are people and have attributed meaning to what they couldn't figure out and given it superstitions and so on. there's... more going on behind it, like something about it makes you produce more oxytocin and stuff around your soulmates. the term is kind of a misnomer."

"wow... you really know how to suck the magic out of it..." seungmin said.

"dude. besides the fact that the marks have our initials, which... like i'm not sure how to feel about that, but either way you look at it, it's kind of insane – do you not see the magic in the way somehow, everything fit so perfectly together to create life? in the way we evolved to have genes that randomly mutated to have random people connected so deeply? just because it's not what you thought it was doesn't make it not special." yn paused their ramble once they realised they were being stared at.

"you have no appreciation for science." they said, fixing seungmin with a blank stare. "science is magic. it doesn't stop being magic because you can explain it." so soulmates weren't technically this big supernatural be-all end-all of love. big whoop. but with the way it made people feel around their soulmates? it might as well be.

"well... that's-" minho was cut off by the sound of the front door to the dorms opening.

everyone turned to see chan walking in through the door, dragging a suitcase with the strap of his other bag hanging off one shoulder. against all odds, he managed to not notice the congregation in the lounge, trudging off into his own room.

it was a few minutes before he re-emerged in a fresh set of clothes, looking just about ready to fall asleep while his stomach growled comically loudly.

when chan finally noticed yn, he stopped in his tracks, standing completely still, like time had suddenly frozen him in place.

and it felt like it had for yn, too. all their denial, all that time spent wallowing in their own pathetic feelings of inadequacy, had let up to this moment.

yn forgot how to breathe when chan finally looked down at the soul mark on their knee, finally looking as it once did back when they were seventeen. readable. obvious as to who their soulmates were.

"yn..." chan said in a rough whisper.

yn stood up shaking, clenching their trembling hands into fists. "chan, i..."

they didn't know how to finish the sentence, but it didn't matter, because they were engulfed in chan's arms a few moments – something that had always been a catalyst for the release of strong emotions, and it was still true now, tears pricking at yn's eyes.

"are you mad at me?" yn asked quietly, tentatively returning the hug as they wrapped their arms around his waist.

"of course i'm annoyed," chan responded.

yn sniffled, squeezing their eyes shut as hot tears began to roll down their cheeks. "i'm sorry," they whispered, voice wobbling. "do you hate me now?"

"hate you? i could never hate you, noona," chan murmured, pressing his face into yn's shoulder and inhaling deeply. "i'm glad it's you."

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a/n: for those of you wondering what a microfuge + micropipette is (ik the pic quality is shit but wtv)

and yes my dad did actually buy me a micropipette. still not sure why. still haven't used it.

taglist (35/50): @sunfk88 @estella-novella @boo-ven9eance @0sunshinecryptid0 @idiotmaterial @tearsofgenshin @tirena1 @cowboylikemalika @d3kstar @heyheyitsmk @bangchansgirlsblog @geni-627 @4ng3l-ch1ld @vitaniangel-blog @beppybeesnuggets @yxna-bliss @imeverycliche @brbwritingfanfic @mavischerry @hanniemylovelyquokka @143hyunes @haexinqx @wynn-43 @rtyuy1346 @aalexyuuuhm @deuces-sunglasses @maxinehufflepuffprincess @staybabblingbaby @chimmyn0chu @maddy24207 @bookishcaptain @alisonyus @marvelsmarauder @mads-borderlands @juuh-07

chapter 9.0 ☆ imposter syndrome

ss: 18

wc: 829

cw: food mentions, mentions of physical fighting

a/n: I lost two years of my life trying to edit that photo if it looks bad don't tell me (also the initials l . y are l/n y/n if you're confused)

"okay, okay, hear me out," minji paused, chewing a heroically sized mouthful of pizza, holding her finger up as if to hold her place in the conversation.

it went on for just long enough to be awkward, and yn took a sip of their soda – as if they weren't already stewing in a pool of their own embarrassment at this whole situation. and it was embarrassing, to say the least. how long would it have taken them to get to this point if not for some... some bitch trying to steal their soulmates? honestly, yn thought they would have the opposite reaction to this sort of thing. the other yn – she was pretty, able-bodied from what they could tell, and she seemed remarkably put together. a far cry from their own life. she seemed to be everything yn wanted for their soulmates.

well, except for the fact that she was almost undoubtedly a sasaeng. stray kids' management had gone to great lengths not to show their soul marks, but there had been a few slip-ups over the years, and despite their best efforts, it had come out that the group were soulmates – and that there was one more person included. that came with a lot of failed attempts of stalkers trying their best to convince they boys that they were their soulmate. up until now, it had always been fairly mediocre attempts, and/or easy to see through. it was different this time, almost indistinguishable from yn's own (before the accident).

but apart from that, theoretically, she was perfect for them. and yn... wasn't. but that didn't stop the pit of frustration burning deep in their stomach – frustration at themselves, mostly, at the world, and everything else. although, that last one was the more general ire for living made worse by this whole debacle.

sometimes, privately, yn wondered if it really was just a big coincidence, if they really were their last soulmate. it just felt like they... didn't fit. and, just occasionally, they wished it was that way – although, not really. they didn't know the others, and didn't really know how to feel about them just yet, but the idea of chan being with someone else made yn's chest clench painfully.

"what if," minji started again, "what if you showed up at the company building with like, one of those massive rose bouquets and blasting a sad song on your boombox?"

"well, first of all," yn said, "where are the funds for this rose bouquet? with the price of everything these days, i'm not sure i even have enough for twelve. secondly, a boombox? how old do you think i am? contrary to apparently popular belief, i do not have a boombox. and, you know, i think security wouldn't let me within 50 metres of the building."

"darn."

the quiet clicking of lego pieces broke the silence between the poignant lack of ideas in the brainstorming session. it was difficult, coming up with a way to explain to your best friend that you'd been hiding the fact that you were his last soulmate that made you look least like a buffoon. it was unavoidable, looking like an idiot, but surely there had to be a way too minimize the damage, right?

it wasn't going very well so far.

yn sighed heavily to themselves. any angle you looked at it, it was bad. the problem being self aware was exactly that – being self aware. the second-hand embarrassment at their own actions had suddenly hit them like a freight train early that morning during classes. it had not been a pleasant day, with every free moment spent shrivelling into their own skin in a very visceral reaction. god, it was just... ugh.

the doorbell rung out through their apartment, breaking the spell that had fallen over the three of them. bingus trotted in, complaining loudly at the intrusion. his fur was all scruffed up, indicative of his 47th nap of the day that he'd just been rudely awoken from.

chika furrowed her brows, glancing in the direction of the door. "you got a package coming or something?"

"uhh... not to my knowledge..." bingus jumped up onto yn's lap, circling a few times before climbing up onto their shoulders like a parrot. chika reached over to brush his fur back into place, eliciting a deep, crackly purr as he pushed his face against her hand. "i'll go see who it is..."

yn stood up tentatively, gently supporting bingus's ass so he didn't fall off during the process, before walking over to the door, grabbing the keys off the hook next to it and unlocking it.

"hey," minho said conversationally, like he hadn't just shown up at yn's door unceremoniously.

"hi," yn mumbled, forcing the word out. they couldn't decide where to look, the doorframe taken up by not only minho, but seungmin and hyunjin as well, the other two appearing at least a little more awkward about the situation.

"we know."

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a/n: if you're wondering I do find joy in torturing people with cliff hangers

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chapter 8.0 ☆ bingus's big day out

ss: 11

wc: 1,800

cw: lost cat, bingus being a terror to society, (1) sex joke

yn knew immediately something was wrong when they didn't wake up suffocated by fur. it was a daily ritual at this point. bingus was their alarm, always waking them up at seven o'clock in the morning on the dot for his breakfast. he was a very fussy feline. 

the apartment felt quiet as yn went about their morning routine... too quiet. no random crashing sounds, no muffled meows from their cupboards, nothing. they hadn't realised how much they were used to all the background noise from bingus's escapades until it wasn't there. it was almost eerie.

it was when yn put his food bowl down and he didn't come that they really got suspicious. even sleeping, he had a sixth sense for food, always appearing the moment they even considered opening the fridge. usually bingus would be all up in their business while they made food – for him or for themselves. always trying to eat things off the counter, or scraps off the floor, which resulted in yn having to drag him away from things that weren't good for him many a time.

even shaking the treat bag in a couple of rooms didn't yield their black void of fur coming running.

and then they saw it – their front door, slightly ajar. yn's heart dropped, panic flooding their system. 

they turned their apartment upside down. clearing out every cabinet, ruining their very carefully organised storage closet, and completely trashing their room. still no cat. still no bingus.

yn was buzzing as they practically bolted down the hall after haphazardly pulling their leathers on, mashing the button for the elevator impatiently. the ride down felt three times as long as it usually was. even though it was less than a minute, it was almost an eternity before they could get to the parking garage under the building.

in a similar fashion, yn managed to hit every red light on the way to the park. which did absolutely nothing to aid the anxiety in their chest – who was it that had their cat? was it actually their cat? would they hold him hostage for the reward?

okay, that one was probably not going to happen, since whoever it was was so adamantly against receiving the money. but, someone out there would be that crazy over melon. someone somewhere.

it took far too long to find somewhere to park their bike, and yn stumbled, almost crashing into a bush after tripping over their own feet. luckily, no one else had witnessed that particular L, except a small magpie staring at them in a judgy way.

it was hard going at a pace above a walk, hobbling on a rolled ankle, but they managed it. not very well, granted, but after nearly two days of not being absolutely smothered by their obnoxiously overbearing cat, yn was missing him in a way that gripped their heart tight and squeezed to almost bursting. heart hammering above the sounds of their footsteps. 

and when yn finally saw bingus again, bundled up in the arms of someone that couldn't tear their eyes away from their cat to look at. and it definitely was him – the black kitty's croaky meow hitting their ears, accompanied by a deep feeling of relief sweeping over them.

it was all okay now. bingus was there, 50 meters away. he wasn't lost, he was coming home. everything was going to be fine.

yn jogged over to him, pulling out his little harness and leash they used to take him on walks, but first, and more importantly, kissing his little head and scratching behind his ears and checking him from any obvious mishaps while he yelled at them. "hi baby, yes, i know, i know. i missed you too."

"can you- yeah, thanks." the person holding bingus maneuvered him in their hold so yn could clip the harness around him.

only, bingus didn't seem to like that, protesting loudly and wriggling his way out of their arms and dropping to the ground. now, that wasn't necessarily an issue – yn kneeled down (amidst many muttered complaints and creaky joints) to do it from there... only for the cat to trot a few steps away and sit down, licking his paw in a decidedly superior way.

"don't do this right now," yn muttered, sighing and shuffling forward on their knees to repeat the action.

bingus did not like that either.

"you have got to be kidding me... i saved you from the streets and this is how you repay me?"

"he's a rescue?" the person who'd brought bingus back to yn finally spoke up, and, to their unsurprised, but growing horror, the voice was eerily similar to that of lee minho.

yn didn't look at him, they didn't want to face the facts right now until they absolutely had to. they just sat down on their knees, already beginning to feel them going numb, because good circulation was just one of the other things their body couldn't produce. "i guess. i found him in an alleyway when i was on my way to work a year ago."

"ah." there was silence, punctuated by a quiet sneeze. "so.. should we go after him?"

"probably." yn let out a quiet groan as they pushed themselves back up to standing, wincing at the pinch in their hip. "can you...?"

"yeah, we'll help."

we? looking over, yn saw seungmin standing slightly behind minho, his eyes slightly red-rimmed – they guessed it was the cat allergy.

"thanks."

bingus was not an easy cat to catch. he seemed to be in a particularly playful mood, staying in one place long enough for the three of them to think they had the upper hand. but no. he was fast, and surprisingly cunning for such a dumb cat. even while eating grass. yn, truthfully, wasn't able to help much – more used to being able to wait it out while bingus had his zoomies.

but that was in an enclosed space, where they could supervise. this was a public park, where he could get into all sorts of trouble. mostly, they just watched minho and seungmin run after bingus like headless chickens – an, admittedly, hilarious sight. with all their ailments, running... was not really something they did. only in short bursts, and with a recovery time that far exceeded the actual run time. the cost-benefit analysis was not checking out. but they were... at least trying? because bingus was not just going to get himself lost a second time. yn could deal with the consequences later.

even if they wanted to, it wasn't like they could do it anyway. after only a few minutes, they were panting and wheezing like a dog, a metallic tang creeping into their mouth. yn's legs were screaming at them, begging them not to move any further. and at this point, it was either listen, or stay in bed for the next week or so, which wasn't exactly ideal. they were surprised they'd even managed to run this long in the first place.

yn sat down heavily on the grass, and it took a good ten minutes or so to get their breath back, and for their heart to stop thumping against their ribs. bingus had still managed to evade capture. minho and seungmin were... trying their best. he was a difficult cat, yn couldn't blame them.

it took... a while – but eventually, minho managed to pin bingus down, and yn booked it across the park to wrangle him into the harness.

now, the black cat was loudly complaining to anyone who would listen that he had been kidnapped, and was being held hostage by these awful people, and they were torturing him by not letting him roam free in the wild. from the cat who had to have his dinner at 7 pm on the dot, who had to eat it with his owner or he wouldn't touch it, and had a bedtime. he was a spoiled brat, he just liked to cosplay as a rebel.

"sorry about that..." yn mumbled sheepishly. bingus's leash was tied around their waist so he couldn't get far. hopefully he would give up trying to test its limits soon.

minho shrugged next to them on the park bench. "do you have the melon?"

yn chuckled quietly, reaching into the cat backpack beside them to pull out the fruit, handing it over to him. minho spent a few minutes checking it over, before nodding to himself, satisfied.

bingus decided to give up on his second escape attempt, flopping dramatically into yn's lap. he started purring like a motor as soon as their hand hovered over his dark fur. he acted so independent until he came into contact with anyone willing to pet him.

"he's very... friendly," seungmin commented, accompanied by a quiet sniffle. "i couldn't get him off me earlier."

"ah... yeah. sorry about that." minho reached over to let bingus sniff his fingers. "just to warn you, he-... yeah." yn finished defeatedly as the cat started gently chewing on minho's fingers. it wasn't painful, by any means – yn had experienced it enough. but it was still weird. although maybe that was just cats.

"is he like this all the time?"

"yeah. he's a bit of a freak." bingus's tail flicked as if in response to yn's words, and he chirped indignantly, standing up and climbing up onto their chest, his fishy breath hitting them face-on. "... hello?"

"yes, thank you, i love you too, baby-" bingus gently licked at their nose, his sandpapery tongue scraping over their skin. yn turned their head to get the cat treats out of their cat backpack to coax him in there, when he chose to start licking... somewhere else.

"ew! you beast!" yn exclaimed, pulling bingus off them by the scruff of his neck. "in my ear? what's wrong with you?"

"he's just showing his love," seungmin murmured in amusement.

"which, as i am very well aware, he is able to do in other ways than licking inside my ear canal like a weirdo."

"you have no respect for his weirdo spirit," minho said.

"no, I don't." as soon as yn opened the treat bag, bingus snapped to attention. they chuckled, waving it in the air and watching his eyes follow. thankfully, the usual method of placing a few treats in the bag worked like a charm and finally, bingus's overnight camping trip had been packed up.

yn stood up, pulling the backpack carefully over their shoulders as to not agitate the cat inside too much. "uhm... thanks for.. getting him back to me."

"you're welcome."

smiling awkwardly, yn turned on their heel and began walking back to their bike. already, they were over-analysing everything they said and did during that hour. it was going to be a long night.

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chapter 7.0 ☆ the lock and key theory

ss: 7

wc: 1,692

cw: swearing, food mentions, jokes about disability (from a disabled writer)

a/n: seeing my work while I'm innocently scrolling through the skz x reader tag is WILD y'all

yn's office hours were... interesting. during their first year as a part-time professor, it had initially been pretty boring. no one really came to their office. the students preferred to go to their more serious professor, as it were – and dr jang was definitely more serious and more experienced. she had more of a reputation. which was fine, yn was perfectly happy to lesson plan and do the more computer heavy side of their research in that time. they enjoyed working alone. no distractions.

the second year? not so quiet.

it had started small. justin being the main instigator. he was always one of the more outgoing ones. he came in once or twice a week, bothering them with questions about the material. things he probably could have figured out on his own, but it was kind of nice. 

now, yn had justin, and oftentimes a few of his friends, hanging out with them during office hours. doing homework, asking about assignments and essays and sometimes just yapping. and, strangely... yn liked it. sure, sometimes they had to use urban dictionary to decipher the young people language, and deal with the occasional millennial/old person joke, but it was pretty fun.

today was one of the more yappy days, clearly. justin did have his laptop out, precariously placed on his legs, but he was completely ignoring it except to make sure it didn't drop to the floor. instead, he was rambling on about how painstaking sewing beaded fabric was, and stitching and so on. don't get them wrong, yn was absolutely listening, but they were also having something close to a religious experience with today's cheesecake that dr jang had brought up from the cafeteria for them.

"–and i've already managed to break two needles on that stupid stuff, even though I spent ages unpicking the beads by hand, like, at this point, is it even worth it?"

"mmh," yn hummed sympathetically, taking another bite of cheesecake, chewing slowly. shifting on their desk chair, they crossed their right leg over their left to get more comfortable. "well, considering how much you've been talking about this for the last couple of months, I don't think you should give up now just because you're frustrated over some fabric."

justin huffed. "yeah, but it's annoying, and-" he stopped, and yn looked up at him from their lesson plan after a few moments of silence.

"what?"

"nothing, it's just..." he squinted at their knee. "has that tattoo on your knee changed? did you get a cover-up or something?"

"it's not a tattoo, it's my soul mark," yn said, before looking down at their knee in confusion. they were less averse to showing it now that it was pretty much unreadable. or... it was.

"what the fuck..." yn muttered to themselves. it wasn't completely as it was before all the knee surgeries, but it was definitely... closer than it used to be. and even through their sheer tights, they could read a few initials – b.c., s.c., and y.j.. well. shit.

"do soul marks... usually change?" justin murmured.

yn's area of expertise was not soul marks in any capacity, but it couldn't be a coincidence that the only three of their soulmates that they'd seen – and touched – were the ones who's initials they could read now. one? sure. two? weird, but okay. but three? yeah, something was definitely going on. yn hadn't heard of soul marks changing after interactions with soulmates, but then again, they also didn't know anyone else who'd had their marks fucked up, especially to the extent of their one. "uhm... not that I know of..."

"that's... weird."

"... yup."

"does it feel any different?"

"i would have noticed earlier if it did," yn replied.

"do you know why it's doing that?" justin asked curiously, leaning further over yn's desk to look closer at it.

"i... have an idea," yn said to their chagrin.

"cryptic."

"you're my student, you don't need to know about my love life," yn said. "i'm sure you have much more pressing matters to worry about. like... studying..."

"boo. that's boring," justin said, heaving a sigh and draping himself over the back of his chair.

"i feel i should remind you that you have a test next week," yn said flatly. "and while studying may be boring, it does help your results." yn left out that they had not been the most avid studier during their university years. do as i say and not as i do, right? justin didn't have to know.

not that he listened, continuing his impassioned rant about beaded fabric and other things, while yn silently had a mini crisis over the new development in the soulmate department.

"hi," yn mumbled, frowning down at the pan in front of them. they were... attempting to cook dinner, their phone set up against the back wall of their kitchen counter. but it was one of those days when they had to drag a chair into the room so they didn't have to stand up, so it wasn't a particularly nutritious meal. still better than not eating, though.

"hey." the audio from minji's end was... crackly. the connection in the gym she went to was shitty, to say the least. and she'd chosen to accept the video call while on the treadmill, which was a choice, for sure.

chika giggled quietly, and the half-drunk margherita that she held told yn she was at least a little tipsy. her location was unclear, but it was clear she'd found some room away from the main party where she wouldn't be disturbed for a while. "guess who I'm with," she hummed out in a sing-song voice, before turning the camera to bring her companion into frame.

yn, at this point, wasn't surprised at who it was. it was, in their mind, only logical – chika was at a versace event, so was hyunjin, and fate seemed to have it out for them recently, so why wouldn't it be him?

"we're hiding," chika whispered. "it's very loud. and there are too many people. i am quite overstimulated."

"hello," hyunjin said shyly, giving a small wave to the camera.

yn, for all the repressing of their feelings, still couldn't deny how cute he was. it was just one of those things. they suspected it had a little to do with the fact that he was their soulmate... but it was also just one of those things.

"so, what was the stuff in the group chat about your soul mark changing?" chika asked, a shit-eating grin spreading across her face, as if one of my soulmates wasn't unfortunately right beside her.

"shut the fuck- oh, my god, get your furry ass off my counter!" yn complained, getting up off their chair to grab bingus, who was making his daily escapade into the kitchen cabinets. honestly, they wouldn't really have a problem if it was the ones at ground level, but trying to haul the cat's fluffy body out of the top shelf of the higher cupboards every day was just... it took far too much effort. they sighed, walking back into frame, holding bingus like the little baby he was, slumping back down into their chair, breathing a little heavy. "he's such a pest."

"just grabbing your cat has you breathing like that? damn..." minji said with a slight laugh, the background noises of her running slowing down as she lowered the speed of the treadmill.

"yeah, well, health is wealth and I am dirt poor, if you catch my drift," yn said, scratching bingus behind the ears and kissing his little forehead.

hyunjin gasped from the other side of the camera, his eyes going wide. "you have a cat?"

yn chuckled, picking up their phone to hold the camera closer to their kitty. "he's called bingus. i woke up to him sitting on my face this morning."

hyunjin muttered something that the microphone didn't manage to pick up, but evidently chika found it absolutely hilarious in her drunken state. "he's so cute..."

bingus meowed gently at the camera, blinking his wide eyes innocently like he wasn't just trying to use yn's ramen stash as a cat bed, instead of literally any other surface in their apartment. he was a strange one. although, maybe that was just cats in general.

"that he may be, but he also made five escape attempts in the past hour and was sulking until about ten minutes ago because I wouldn't let him risk his life in seoul traffic," yn replied in exasperation.

minji sighed sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "you clearly don't love him then."

"yes, i hate my cat and want him to live an unfulfilling life. he reminds me of that often. maybe i shouldn't have trained him to come with me on my bike. i've given you a taste for danger, hm?" yn smiled down at bingus, kissing his cheek.

"you have a bike?" hyunjin asked.

"yeah," yn confirmed. it was pink, and had hello kitty detailing – what more could you want?

"they're objectively less safe, you know that, right?" minji said. it was a conversation they'd had many times, but it always ended the same.

"i never said it made sense," yn protested. "but, unfortunately, i don't have the luxury of being able to walk everywhere, i'm scared of cars, and me and public transport don't mix well because it's usually too busy to sit down, so... this is my solution."

"i think we should go back," chika said, finishing the conversation abruptly. "i think donatella has some attachment issues," she whispered, not that it was any quieter.

yn chuckled. "alright. see you in a few days."

minji's pout was practically radiating through the screen as she said her goodbyes, to no surprise. it wasn't just donatella versace who had attachment issues.

and so, yn was left alone with their thoughts again while they ate their noodles – and simultaneously tried to stop bingus eating them as well. hyunjin was... nice to talk with. not that they expected otherwise, but... a part of them wished he wasn't. it would have made it easier to reconcile staying away for so long.

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chapter 6.0 ☆ have you been flossing?

ss: 16

wc: 301

cw: swearing, mentions of car accidents, mentions of the french, yn is bad at feelings, teeth stuff???

a/n: 56 followers?? I never thought this many people would like my shit lol thank you guys 🥲🫶

updates are probably going to slow down a bit because I'm going back to college next week (I am writing this instead of doing my homework, how did you know?)

also the amount of research I did on dental implants for this one chapter just for the most random plot point... idk anymore

it had been... well, annoying, to say the least, the time after yn's old crowns had been removed. it hadn't been strictly necessary to go around wearing a mask everywhere they went, but it was just... weird, right? walking around with holes in their smile. luckily, it had only taken few days for the new crowns to be made – silver, this time, as recommended – and they did look pretty cool. a little cold in their mouth, though. yn supposed they would get used to it.

however, the last person yn expected to see as they were walking out of the dentist's office was... dear lord... yang jeongin. luckily, it wasn't a long interaction, or even an interaction at all, for that matter, they both just brushed past each other in the doorway. but it was enough to set yn's palms tingling, something that lasted until they made it back to their apartment.

hopefully jeongin hadn't noticed. even if he had, there was only a slim chance that he'd be able to track them down, anyway.

although there was a part of yn that wanted him to try. not that they would acknowledge it, of course, but after that interaction with changbin the other day, it was hard not to wonder what it would be like if they were to finally give in to the whole soulmate thing. maybe it would be... nice. 

but the combination of pride and shame that had welled up inside them over time stopped yn from making any move themselves. they had gotten used to being alone, and that sticky feeling of sadness that clung to them whenever they saw concert clips, or skz code, or their lives. they were better off without each other, yn told themselves.

but they weren't sure how true that was anymore.

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chapter 5.0 ☆ jeogiyo noona hokshi namjachingu isseoyo

ss: 20

cw: swearing, nude + nipple mentions (no pictures, nothing graphic), descriptions of pain, reader called 'mama' once

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chapter 4.0 ☆ death of achilles

ss: 9

wc: 1,143 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

cw: mentions of food, swearing, apple slander (deserved)

these types of days were some of yn's favourite days. the slow days, when they were finishing up a paper, when they could just sit at a cafe with their noise cancelling headphones and do the final editing. the days when they could rationalise buying a few too many sweet treats because didn't they deserve a reward?

it was a little less enjoyable this time, as yn had woken up at stupid o'clock in the morning and had been unable to get back to sleep, so they were at the cafe far earlier than usual, but... it was still better than having to supervise second year students fucking around in the lab.

they had learned their lesson, and yn didn't order any caffeinated drinks, otherwise their shaky hands would have been no use with their temperamental laptop. it was, admittedly, on its last legs, but after eight years it was like their child and yn was unwilling to part with it until it was really, truly, unfixable. but that day was not today.

yn fiddled with their pochacco usb absentmindedly as they read through their paper, fixing spelling errors from the words that were evidently too scientific for autocorrect to handle, no matter how many times they put it into their personal dictionary. at this point, they'd just accepted it, and were resigned to going through the entire thing. it wasn't like it was terrible, anyway, but after seeing it almost every day for the last six months it was getting a little old.

luckily, in the midst of the slow, calm morning, fate had decided to make the day more exciting. because apparently, a calm morning was not in the cards.

it all happened so fast – someone bumped into someone else, a muffled curse, and the next second, three drinks had their contents emptied onto yn's laptop.

thankfully, yn had the presence of mind to pull the usb containing their paper out of their laptop, wiping it on their sleeve, hopefully before any damage could be done. after almost deleting their entire thesis during their bachelors degree… they weren't taking any chances. so while it would suck losing the editing, they had backups, so it wouldn't be the end of the world. but their laptop?

oh, it was not having a good time.

the screen flickered a few times, before shutting down, unprompted. and yn had a feeling that this time, it wasn't powering up again, especially with all the liquid currently seeping into the hardware through the gaps in the keyboard, and dripping off the table onto the floor as well as into yn's lap.

but, of course, that wasn't the end of it, because when yn looked up at the masked face of the person who spilled all that coffee over their laptop? seo changbin.

seo fucking changbin. of all the people in south korea, it had to be one of the eight people yn was trying so hard to avoid.

they just sat there in shock for a few seconds, staring down at their soaked laptop, before he started apologizing.

"i am so sorry-" changbin started before yn cut him off.

"it's fine," they said quickly. it wasn't fine, not really, but those words came out of their mouth on reflex.

finally, yn stood up, cringing at the feeling of their damp trousers clinging to their skin, knowing it would probably stain, and also knowing that it definitely looked like they pissed themselves now.

"oh, let me," changbin said, pulling off his jacket and tying it around their waist, covering up the worst of the spill.

both of them seemed to kick back into gear at that point, grabbing handfuls of napkins to try and mop up the liquid, to marginal degree of success. in the end they were ushered out of the cafe, leaving them standing awkwardly on the pavement outside, while yn tried to not make eye contact with the billboard showing a close up of changbin's face. it was like the universe was taunting them.

"sorry," changbin apologised again. "i could pay for the repairs, if you want…"

"you don't have to," yn replied, turning their gaze down at their shoes, and shifting their weight over to their new cane – which didn't start creaking immediately, a definite improvement from the last one. "it's pretty old. i'm not sure it can be revived another time."

"i'll buy you a new one, then."

"no, you don't have to do that," yn protested, but they got the idea that it would need a lot more to convince him not to.

"why is your laptop called achilles?" changbin asked, bemusement evident on his face.

yn shrugged. "when i was setting it up, you could name it... for, like, bluetooth or something. one of my old friends named it."

"right..." he replied, clearly not understanding.

yn laughed quietly to themselves, the conversation going quiet again as the pair walked into the electronics store. at least they had an idea of what they wanted – yn had become quite aware over the last few months that their laptop was... close to death, and had been preemptively window shopping for a new one, so they just made a beeline for the one they'd been looking at.

"not going to milk this for something more expensive? like a macbook?"

yn shot changbin a withering look. "macbooks suck. they lose battery in, like, 20 minutes, then they overheat when you charge them. the layout is awful and completely different from almost every other laptop for literally no reason and they're so expensive for what? to be unusable without a software update that makes everything worse? spare me."

changbin muffled his laugh behind his hand. "all my friends are weird about iphones, too. they're so much worse, i don't get it."

"right? i just want a good device, and apple is worse than everything else, as well as being way more expensive. the hype is completely undeserved."

"so... this one, then?" he asked, pointing at the model they were standing in front of.

yn nodded. it wasn't the best, or most expensive, but it had all the things they needed, and it weighed less than seven bricks, as minji had so aptly put it.

it didn't take long for the new laptop to be purchased, and changbin handed it over with a new litany of apologies. yn accepted it with an embarrassed smile, unable to stop the hitch in their breath as their hands brushed his.

"i, um... thank you," yn muttered out, averting their gaze. they felt the tips of their ears heat up, in a way that had nothing to do with the weather, accompanied by a sinking feeling in their gut. somehow they knew that it was going to become a lot harder to hide from their soulmates from now on.

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a/n: is this a weird plot point? maybe. but I have free will and I can write what I want

taglist (18/50): @sunfk88 @estella-novella @boo-ven9eance @0sunshinecryptid0 @idiotmaterial @tearsofgenshin @tirena1 @cowboylikemalika @d3kstar @heyheyitsmk @bangchansgirlsblog @geni-627 @4ng3l-ch1ld @vitaniangel-blog @beppybeesnuggets @yxna-bliss @imeverycliche @brbwritingfanfic

chapter 3.0 ☆ changed numbers

ss: 12

cw: mentions of underwear pic (no image), yn being stupid, suggestive mentions of boobs

a/n: yes I did accidentally post the unfinished version earlier because my finger slipped which is turning out to be a common theme here

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a/n: any guesses? 🤭

taglist (14/50): @sunfk88 @estella-novella @boo-ven9eance @0sunshinecryptid0 @idiotmaterial @tearsofgenshin @tirena1 @cowboylikemalika @d3kstar @heyheyitsmk @bangchansgirlsblog @geni-627 @4ng3l-ch1ld @vitaniangel-blog

chapter 2.0 ☆ a disturbance in the force

ss: 12

cw: angst, (internalised) ableism, reader feeling insecure, food pictures, (1) suggestive message

a/n: to all my fellow disabled friends out there struggling with self worth – you're enough, and I love you ♡

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taglist (12/50): @sunfk88 @estella-novella @boo-ven9eance @0sunshinecryptid0 @idiotmaterial @tearsofgenshin @tirena1 @cowboylikemalika @d3kstar @heyheyitsmk @bangchansgirlsblog @geni-627

chapter 1.0 ☆ these fucking kids

ss: 18

cw: swearing, mentions of (bottom) surgery, mentions of food, slight suggestiveness (nothing graphic)

a/n: finally into actual chapters lol. click for quality

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taglist (11/50): @sunfk88 @estella-novella @boo-ven9eance @0sunshinecryptid0 @idiotmaterial @tearsofgenshin @tirena1 @cowboylikemalika @d3kstar @heyheyitsmk @bangchansgirlsblog

chapter 0.75 ☆ my destiny

ss: 18

cw: mentions of covid, mentions of vomiting, coming out (accidental), friendship + family issues, doctors being assholes, medical angst, mentions of food, dividers between time jumps

a/n: yes there's another backstory chapter lol. 0.5 was getting too long to fit it all. click for quality

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a/n: are all the trials and tribulations from experience?... no comment

taglist (10/50): @sunfk88 @estella-novella @boo-ven9eance @0sunshinecryptid0 @idiotmaterial @tearsofgenshin @tirena1 @cowboylikemalika @d3kstar @heyheyitsmk

chapter 0.5 ☆ first light

ss: 19

cw: a whole bunch of time skips (divider between time jumps), mentions of injuries, mentions of food

a/n: catch up chapter which is turning out to be longer than expected

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a/n: I am a strong believer that bang chan is a '😂' warrior

taglist (5/50): @sunfk88 @estella-novella @boo-ven9eance @0sunshinecryptid0 @idiotmaterial

chapter 0.0 ☆ end of beginning

ss: 11

wc: 471

cw: mentions of + jokes about car accidents, mentions of comas, medical inaccuracies probably, angst, graphic description of pain? idk i'm just writing what a flare-up feels like to me

the main thing yn felt was pain. pain in her knee, pain in her jaw, and pain everywhere else. the meds barely took the edge off.

thankfully, her parents had managed to get her a private room, so yn didn't have to listen to other people, but in a way it made this whole thing worse. maybe it would have been a little better if she didn't feel so alone in her grievances.

she just wanted to sleep, to get away from reality for a little bit – but being away from home, in hospital of all places wasn't helping. the weird, bleach-y smell lingered in her nose, and the irregular beeping of her vitals was drilling a hole into her skull. not even holding the pathetic excuse for a pillow over her ears drowned it out. it was too uncomfortable a position anyway, especially since yn could only lay on her back so she didn't put pressure on her knee, or her jaw, or the many other injuries she'd sustained from the crash. the restlessness gradually seeping into her bones didn't help anything either, and yn knew it would only get worse over the months she'd need to heal.

at first, yn hadn't realised why she'd woken up in hospital, to a jaw wired shut, and a leg brace, and pain burning up her insides.

and then, she remembered.

crossing the road, alone, in the dark. the screeching of the tires as the car rounded the corner. standing, frozen, like a deer in headlights, and the blinding pain that spread like lightning through her body as she hit the ground, before blacking out.

due to some cruel twist of fate, she'd woken from her coma on what would have been her day off from training. all in all, not the most innocuous of days, but it meant that chan was there. him and his little, worried face, wasting his time on her. although, yn supposed it was better that she'd woken up then, so that he didn't have to spend the whole time just watching her, unconscious. and, well, it was nice having a friend around during the panic of the first moments of wakefulness.

but now, she was alone again. nothing to do but try desperately not to think about the accident, or the pain, or chan's little, worried face… it didn't really leave much. and those things were pretty hard not to think about when it felt like the images kept resurfacing in her head in a constant loop, a grim picture book, over and over – and the pain, a cloying caramel clogging up her insides and sinking its claws into her body, flames blazing.

yn just wanted sleep. but tonight, sleep was not her friend. and, to her reckoning, it wouldn't be for a long while.

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taglist (3/50): @sunfk88 @estella-novella @boo-ven9eance

U (feat. Tablo) masterlist

➺ poly!skz x reader

➺ soulmate!au, part smau + part written, angst, fluff, kind of a crack fic

➺ everyone is born with a soul mark on their body that, over time, morphs into the initials of their soulmate(s). yn, a 29 year old researcher and professor at SNU, had a problem with their soul mark. well, quite a few problems, but the main one, currently, is trying to hide the fact that they're the ninth soulmate of the band stray kids. a feat proving quiet difficult when the eight of them are unwittingly backing yn into a corner of their own making.

➺ feat. afab + gender queer + fem presenting + audhd + disabled cane user!yn (loosely based off some of my own experiences)

➺ fem + masc + gender neutral titles + pronouns all used for yn

➺ this won't be following a real world timeline (except for a bit at the start) because I'm too tired to make that work

cw: mentions of + jokes about car accidents, mlm relationships (skz are soulmates), wlw relationship, mentions of homophobia + transphobia, mentions of family issues, yn is bad at feelings, jokes about violence, jokes about disability (from a disabled writer), all of them in horny jail, mentions of comas, medical inaccuracies probably, definitely inaccuracies about being an adult, swearing, stalkers/sasaengs, covid mentions, ableism (mostly internalised)

yn + friends' accounts ☆ the boys' accounts public + private

chapter 0.0 ♡ end of beginning

chapter 0.5 ♡ first light

chapter 0.75 ♡ my destiny

chapter 1.0 ♡ these fucking kids

chapter 2.0 ♡ a disturbance in the force

chapter 3.0 ♡ changed numbers

chapter 4.0 ♡ death of achilles

chapter 5.0 ♡ jeogiyo noona hokshi namjachingu isseoyo

chapter 6.0 ♡ have you been flossing?

chapter 7.0 ♡ the lock and key theory

chapter 8.0 ♡ bingus's big day out

chapter 9.0 ♡ imposter syndrome

chapter 10.0 ♡ all in

main masterlist

taglist (35/50): @sunfk88 @estella-novella @boo-ven9eance @0sunshinecryptid0 @idiotmaterial @tearsofgenshin @tirena1 @cowboylikemalika @d3kstar @heyheyitsmk @bangchansgirlsblog @geni-627 @4ng3l-ch1ld @vitaniangel-blog @beppybeesnuggets @yxna-bliss @imeverycliche @brbwritingfanfic @mavischerry @hanniemylovelyquokka @143hyunes @haexinqx @wynn-43 @rtyuy1346 @aalexyuuuhm @deuces-sunglasses @maxinehufflepuffprincess @staybabblingbaby @chimmyn0chu @maddy24207 @bookishcaptain @alisonyus @marvelsmarauder @mads-borderlands @juuh-07

pink means I can't tag you