I wrote the thing. I wrote a slice-of-life Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusader’s fanfic involving stupid parlor tricks. All in three hours.
You’re welcome, but also, why do I feel like this is a mistake? It’s safe for work and relatively innocuous, but still.
Also, the title is a slight modification of the first lyric in Cherry by Chromatics. Go listen to that—it’s a really good song, I promise.