Nsfw Text - Blog Posts

new favorite AO3 comment dropped. short, simple, to the point. made me laugh so hard my stomach hurt.

do NOT fall down the "saving pics of capn cuttlefish with big boobs" to "old man fucker" pipeline

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

pro tip “he freed his erection” is the most useful phrase in any smut writer’s arsenal because it means never having to figure out a dude’s pants situation. how did he do it? were there zippers? buttons? some kind of bizarre lacing situation? maybe he cut off his pants with scissors. maybe it was a wizard. maybe it busted out like the hulk busts out of his shirts. no one knows. no one cares. his dick is out now and that is all that matters. thank you helpful dick wizard.

Bro you need to make more of these because I can’t it’s literally 9 AM rn lmao

tupperbox is an awesome discord bot

hotd deleted scenes [x]

thinking about the neural link between a pilot and their mech as a kind of gamble between overwhelming pleasure and unbearable pain

it's a kind of fucked-up reward system where firing your weapons accurately and destroying enemy mechs in a satisfying crunch of metal will make your eyes roll back and your thighs press together, but every hit you take and shot you fail to dodge will become a brutal feedback loop as it's sent straight through the neural link and into your brain, making you scream and thrash

you'd better do well on your missions otherwise you and your precious mech will suffer together

Robot that's into fucking humans, but it randomises its erogenous responses before each encounter and makes its partner solve puzzles to receive cryptic clues about what they are this time around.

god imagine being in there. grinding yourself against the wires and internal machinations of his being. feeling ever so small inside of him, as it feels like the walls around you are closing in, all as you feel the wires in your hair and the warm metal against your skin <3

i neeeeed to be tied up with wires. just constricted like im being squeezed by a python. the wires burning into my skin due to how tight they are. im twisted so tight that i cant move where im put in a position most vulnerable legs spread and i cant close them. i cant use my hands. i just have to be strung up like a pathetic thing by these electrical cables

i didn’t get to properly participate in sinday so i just wanna say: rakan has no gag reflex and he’s proud of it :)

Hand holding during sex, that’s that good shit

less cringy NSFW/intimacy memes

ACTIONS: (add + to reverse who does the action)

✦ to finger my muse  ✧ to give my muse oral  ☆ to get caught doing something sexual in public ✻ to catch my muse masturbating  ✸ for a drabble about my muse having a sex dream about yours ❆ to tease my muse  ❁ for our muses first time  ✶ for something awkward to happen during sex ♢ for something to make our muses laugh during sex  ♤ for my muse to help yours undress  ☽ for my muse to have trouble taking off an article of clothing  ♧ to guide my muse’s hands where yours wants to be touched  ♜ for my muse to kiss an area where yours is insecure  ♞ my muse gets a cramp during sex ♦ my muse sneezes during sex ♟ my muse says the wrong name during sex ✪ for our muses to be intimate in nature © for morning sex  ✘ to eat food off of my muse  ♕ make your own scenario 

WORDS: 

“god, you look so good”  “fuck—” “i got you, baby”  “you’re being so good for me”  “i promise i’ll be a good”  “please”  “you have to be quiet if you want to cum”  “say please?”  “are you gonna be good for me?”  “shit— i have to pee” “wait, that hurts” “not there” “that feels so good”  “touch me here”  “did you just yawn?”  “you make me feel so good”  “do you like this?”  “i want to hear you when you cum”  “i’m so close”  “i need you”  “how much do you want to cum?” “turn around” “your fingers feel amazing” “i’m yours”  “you’re mine” “tell me you’re mine”  “you sound so pretty when you moan”  “harder” “wait—” “is this okay?” “say it again” “i love you”

unprompted.     /     always accepting   !!

@quartlet​ said :   what are rakan's opinions on cock and ball torture 400 word essay go

to understand the complexities of cock and ball torture is to understand that it is an art form now appreciated by contemporary society, scarcely touched upon by previous generations. naturally, this type of thinking can lead one to conclude that rakan’s tribe, the lhotlan vastaya, did not know nor practice about cock and ball torture. that is to say, rakan had figured out what cock and ball torture was only after coming into more contact with human society, be it other people in ionia, maybe some people from demacia, noxus, the freljord, etc. the point is, this art form was something he discovered through others. to say that rakan dislikes cock and ball torture would be a faux statement, it’s downright erroneous as rakan, for one, loves the feeling of having his dick or balls smacked until they’re red or hurting.

cock and ball torture hold a certain level of sadomasochism, the one inflicting the pain being considered the sadist, and the one receiving the pain being considered the masochist. in the psychological and medical analysis on sadomasochism, “safe, sane and consensual: contemporary perspectives on sadomasochism,” darren langridge et al. describes cock and ball torture to have directly painful activities such as “genital piercing, wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation, kneeing or kicking.” ( langridge et al., 2008 ) taking these factors into account, it must be noted that rakan is one who derives sexual pleasure from pain inflicted onto him. this is not to say that he would not harm another for sexual pleasure, but for the purposes of this essay, rakan finds immense pleasure in receiving pain during cock and ball torture. albeit he is not receptive to some of these activities, such as “genital piercing” and debatably “wax play,” he is very much an advocate of gential spanking, ball-busting, urethral play, etc. this stems from rakan’s innate desire to have all attention on him. not to be confused with accepting bad attention as good attention, cock and ball torture, as an art form, should be consensual on both sides to him, even if he must undergo some form of humiliation.

with that being said, rakan finds great joy in participating in cock and ball torture. while he opts to be on the receiving end of things, coming from the side of him that is masochistic in nature. some will argue against this idea, attempting to refute this argument with “masochism does not align with rakan’s charismatic exterior,” and while i wish to agree with them, there is a particular line within league of legends that implies rakan is, indeed, leaning towards the masochistic side of sexual pleasure. this becomes evident in one of his quotes with his partner xayah, in which they have this brief exchange:

to obtain scars, one must acquire wounds. to acquire said wounds, one must undergo pain. rakan’s acceptance of xayah’s desire, whilst sounding chipper about it, supports the argument that he is, indeed, a masochist; ergo, being on the receiving end of cock and ball torture is a high possibility than saying he has no such desire.

ultimately, rakan enjoys the idea of cock and ball torture and would willingly participate in it given the chance. thank you for reading my essay!

CITATIONS:

Langdridge, Darren, and Meg Barker. Safe, Sane, and Consensual: Contemporary Perspectives on Sadomasochism. Palgrave Macmillan, 2013.

“Rakan/Quotes.” League of Legends Wiki, leagueoflegends.fandom.com/wiki/Rakan/Quotes.

whatever at least I give good head

👶⌛

👶 Does your muse want children?

i think he does, yes!! rakan being a father would actually be kinda soft so. u know. i’d be down to write smth like that!

⌛️ How long does your muse last in bed?

how good is his partner? i’m kidding- well, partly. rakan can last a long while if he really wants to make the moment last, give or take…20 mins, if it’s something special? otherwise, if it’s just a quick fuck-n-go, he won’t last very long. especially if he’s being riled up like all hell. just some fun facts to consider!       ///       @shadowhelmed

🌀

🌀 What are 3 of muse’s top kinks?

i already did rakan’s kink sorter here’s his top 3 kinks LFJHLDFKHLFH       ///       @death-from-below

what’s your muses’ position?

oh well

d a n c e :)

D   :   DATE.   what is your muse’s ideal date? where / who with / etc?

rakan’s ideal date? it really depends! sometimes he might be in the mood that’s a little bit exhilarating. sometimes he’s in the mood for something a little slower. things can fluctuate depending on what he might do! impress an entire crowd n you with his dancing? or just impress you with his dancing for a night? slowly guiding your every step, sharing a deeply intimate moment? he’s…………a romantic let him have this //////////

A   :   AFFECTION.   how does your muse show affection?

yep, yep, yep! he’s not shy about it. he’ll do it through verbal praises or he’ll do it through physical means as well. hold your cheek, caress it gently with his thumb, nuzzle u………wait also i need to just say he likes/wants to be the big spoon to give the most kisses possible but. little spoon also works.

N   :   NAUGHTY.   what is your muse like in bed?

WAIT THIS IS NSFW? CHRIST HOLD ON GIVE ME A SECOND. UHHH ok. i’m shy w/ writing this on the dash so i’m not gonna ramble abt it but! i’m predictable when i say he can rough if he has to if he’s topping? but that’s when it’s got more lust involved than anything. if it’s intimate and meaningful he’s usually slow, a little more meticulous than usual, and likes to whisper a lot into his lover’s ear!?!?!? but that’s if he tops FJHKLDFHJDFLKJH if he’s bottoming expect that cocky facade to kind of melt away. bye /////////////

C   :   CHOCOLATE.   does your muse like chocolate? which one is their favorite?

YES. ABSOLUTELY!!!! rakan likes milk chocolate the most and that’s that on that.

E   :   EMBRACE.   does your muse like hugs? what are their hugs like?

OHHHHH I LOVE THIS ONE!!!!! he likes hugs, yes! his hugs are warm bc ok, think of it like this………u got a pair of arms around u. but u also got like……..his wings around u and him. it’s great i urge u to hug him

x   /   @spkemuth

"How does he have sex with that?!"

not successfully, for sure. trying shit like this is how you end up with a top post on r/TIFU

The statement on this picture would still apply if you'd remove the arrow or point it to literally any other part of him