this is mostly directed at @the-closet-case but i hope it can help other people too!
books with they/them narrators
- "I Wish You All The Best", Mason Deaver
- "River Of Teeth", Sarah Gailey (there's multiple narrators in this one, one of them uses they/them)
- "Can't Take That Away", Steven Salvatore (main character switches between he/she/they.)
- "No Man of Woman Born", Ana Mardoll. (This one is a short story collection which includes a he/she/they genderfluid person, a xe/xem person, and multiple other trans folks. also, an aro character and a bi one!)
books with major characters who use they/them, exclusively or not
- "Spellhacker", MK England (the love interest is nonbinary and uses they/them)
- "The Heartbreak Bakery", A.R. Capetta (the love interest uses he/they pronouns; the narrator uses no pronouns.)
- Also, bonus: not as major but "A Dark and Hollow Star" by Ashley Shuttleworth has a genderfluid side character who uses they/them.
books with nonbinary characters that don't use they/them
- "Meet Cute Diary", Emery Lee. The love interest uses ey/em pronouns (or maybe e/em, i can't quite remember)
- "Good Omens", Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett. Crowley and Aziriphale both use he/him but are referred to as having no gender.
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I'll add more later, I'm really tired right now and am having difficulty recalling books to add.