the saddest part is my mom suffered a toxic, lonely, and dehumanizing upbringing... but she doesn't understand that her trauma doesn't invalidate my trauma, it doesn't make the emotional and physical abuse she puts us through valid or okay.
i confronted her about all the arguments we've had over the years... she excused it by her injuries, and when i pointed out that this was happening prior to her injuries she said stress... it was stress, she was stressed out and that it was okay since she was stressed. she always calls it a breaking point.
i love her so much, but she scares me, and hurts me and herself.
i am afraid that ill turn into her when im older... i never want to reach a "breaking point". i never want to be like her... i understand she is a single mother, but still.
it’s the part where i have to let my older brother leave this house... like ive never been away from him in an environment like this... it becomes scary ya know... knowing that ill become the center of attention that she can nitpick on... in the end i know it’s for the best, so that he can start a life away from her, i just have to hold on three more years...