Make It Count - Blog Posts
GUYS GUYS GUYS I NEED YOU TO KNOW THIS
Hating yourself is NOT a contained practice. It ALWAYS impacts other people either directly or indirectly. So LET IT GO because not only is it mean to you, it's harmful to everyone in the environment around you.
There is no way to hate without hurting others. Even if you think it's just yourself.
Hating yourself is harming others. Like, almost always. Even if you don’t mean it to.
Loving yourself enough to take care of yourself and be kind to yourself is what makes you more capable of helping others and doing good.
You’re not going to shame and hate yourself into being a better friend, a better spouse, better parent, better person, better service to the world. That’s done through love and gentleness. I promise.
And I know it’s work! There is no switch to flip that takes you magically from self-hatred, self-denial, insecurity, and depression to self-love, self care, gentleness, and joy! It takes work and, for many people, seeking outside help! But it’s worth it worth it worth it, not just for you, but for everyone around you.
The fridge.
Have y’all ever had that violent hunger that hits at like 3:14 am and you just have to stare into the empty low-lit abyss of your fridge, praying that somehow, some God somewhere may bless you with the meal you do not trully deserve, just to calm the angry growling of your impatient stomach? Just me? Aight.
Making it count
Last week I was at a classmates funeral. Everything about it seemed wrong. She just turned 18 three weeks ago, therefore being way too young to leave this world and as I stood at her open grave, looking down at the bright wooden coffin her dainty body was in, imagining her just sleeping inside, I felt like I’m living my life the wrong way.
In that moment everything seemed so important to me. Because standing there, watching her older sister break down in tears, filled my heart with so much fear of not only dying but losing people I love before I had the chance to tell them everything I wanted them to know and spending as much time together as possible.
In that moment I wanted to call both my parents and tell them I loved them.
I wanted to wrap my arms around every single one of my friends and thank them for the best memories ever.
I wanted to tell my favourite teachers how much they inspired me and helped to create a new version, a better one, of me throughout the past years.
I wanted to make sure my brother knew that he has always been my favourite person on this planet no matter how hard we had fought in the past.
I wanted to show up at this particular boy’s door and just kiss him and thank him for slowly putting back all the pieces of my broken heart another one had left me alone with.
I wanted to be fearless. To be brave enough to just do whatever I felt like. To stop caring about what others might think of me and do whatever my heart desired.
I wanted to make every single minute of my life count, because I realized how fast everything might fall apart.
RIP Leo,
forever loved.