LOOK WHAT YOU DID GWENIFFER - Blog Posts
gcuienveres:
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was it something she was willing to simply let slip through her fingers as though it were merely sand upon the shores of the sunset sea; if she closed her eyes she could just about hear the distant sounds of the oceans might and wrath hitting the rocks, and it was enough to momentarily cool her off from whatever strange feelings seemed to be swirling deep within her gut. feelings of being outcasted, feelings of being slighted and the great swelling pride that seemed to burn and burn in response to such actions; for a moment she wished she could be beneath the waves once again, thoughts being drowned out by the thunderous sound of everything else around her.
she wanted her mind to stop, she wanted her heart to stop burning as though she held a vengeance for all around her, she wanted her tongue to stop feeling as though it were a blade able and ready to hurt those around her; she knew not what dark thoughts were swirling in her mind that were causing her to lash out at those around her, and yet she felt as though she could not voice it. only pace, and hide in the grass as she locked emerald orbs upon her next prey; and rip to shreds the confidence those she believed had been some part of her very public undoing. “get to know me?” guinevere asked, any sense of the taunting, bitchy smile that had sat upon her lips completely draining - gods, what was there left to get to know when she didn’t even know who she was at this point in this life? even her name, her name was enough of a question mark that she found herself hesitating before she signed off letters.
“trying…what you could.” her voice suddenly snapped, as though a spark of fire had suddenly rooted itself deep within her; all she could hear were excuses for the incompetence the starks had shown in their control of that night, and how she had nearly lost her life for it. instead, she had ended up being publicly shamed, stripped of her titles, and treated as though she were nothing but a common whore. “if you expect me to sit and wrap you up in blankets, tell you that you done your best, you’re very much misguided. it was not enough, and the consequences for that remain. how do you expect me to respect you, when your own men did not that night?”
“we are not family.” she spoke, resting her hands upon the her golden skirts, reflecting slightly in the crackling hearth of the fire, her tone inherently dismissive as though she were speaking to a little girl that continued to believe in fantasies and mythical tales, a harsh quip of realism. “just because i’ve somehow ended up making this choice, know i do not consider you kin, and never will.” her tone implied a scathing sense of regret, of doubt, on the choices that had led to her to this point in her life. "you were not the only one who nearly lost your life as a result of doing nothing that night.“ she almost hissed, a sense of icy anger sitting within her as she felt the urge to complete throw aside all rosalyn had put the effort into setting up on the table sat between them. “are you planning on taking any responsibility for that, or am i wasting more of my time?”
.
this was the woman her brother had chosen to marry? who he had put so much in danger for? for someone so cruel and uncaring. how could he have ever chosen someone like this? unless he might be unaware of what was lurking behind that beautiful blonde curls of hers. behind the kind smile she must have given him. her heart ached to think about what was to come if the queen of the vale was to be so heartless. gods her sister was right. here she had just thought ravella was exaggerating the terrible things that were to come with this marriage but maybe she was right.
“you somehow made this choice? my brother loves you, more than anyone else i have ever seen. he has given his whole heart to you and you are telling me you somehow made this choice? like it or not we are family as you choose to marry an arryn. you do not get to so cruelly throw that back in my face.” her heart was racing now. this was worse than any other time she had to face a heartless lady of the court. having to face their bullying and harsh words. gwen had stabbed her and was twisting the knife with her words. it took all her effort to keep herself composed. to fight back tears that wanted to pool down her face. how could anyone say such vicious things to someone else?
“enough.” rosa’s voice held with a strength unusual for the new queen. “i believe it is time for you to go back to the vale housing.” the northern queen stood up from her chair, her head held high as she looked at her brother’s new wife. “thank you for joining me here today, your grace. i will be sure to let my brother know we were able to meet. i am sure he will be curious to know. good day.”
keep composed rosa. keep composed. she repeated it over and over again in her head. she would not let her dignity walk out that door along with her good sister. she waited until guinevere lannsiter was out of her chambers before she turned to face the window. “please leave me.” she told the handmaidens who were around. once she was sure they were gone she let the tears fall from her eyes. her hands clasped tightly over her mouth, so no sound could escape. there was only the light crackling of fire, and the muffled sobs of rosalyn stark. she did not wish for anyone to know how much the words had affected her. how they would eat away at the confidence she had only just begun to build for herself. but the queen of the north had to remain strong in these times.
but she did not cry just for herself, but cried for the vale. for her brother. for her family. she could feel her heart breaking for them.
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