I LOVE LOVE LOVE all your prompts! Please keep sending them, and I will do my best to get to them when I can. I feel honored to be the voice you trust with your thoughts and ideas. :)
This was something I wrote ages ago, so I figured I'd post it. It also happens to have some of my favorite dialogue of the boys that I've ever written.
TW for discussion of nefarious activities. Nobody actually participates in them, but there is a healthy discussion about them, which should ALWAYS be happening in relationships where nefarious activities are participated in, regardless of how long the people have been together.
All credits to @lumosinlove
The world was full of people that loved Logan Tremblay. Finn and Leo included. Finn and Leo especially, in Finn’s expert opinion. But that did not mean other people didn’t, particularly fans.
Like the ones by the glass that were being shown on the jumbotron.
A group of what looked like young adults were standing there with signs, saying things like Hey, hot (head) Tremblay, can I get a puck?; #71, nice lettuce! Can I have your haircare routine?; and Finn’s personal favorite: Remember me? Harvard Halloween party 2016?
Maybe, Finn thought, squinting at the screen, a few too many people loved Logan Tremblay.
The boy holding the final sign had wavy red hair and blue eyes, and looked strong underneath his Rangers jersey. It confused Finn slightly- Logan had never mentioned picking up boys in college before, and Finn was one-hundred percent sure it had never happened. Mostly.
Logan would’ve told him. Right?
He nudged Leo, who was sat beside him in the players box. The Lions had gotten knocked out in the previous round, and Finn had taken some personal days off from school so they could both come and support Logan as he and the Rangers made (another) run for the Cup. Alex had retired at the end of last season when they had made it to the Stanley Cups Finals and won, going out on a high. It had been a tough and physical 7-game series, with both him and Logan walking away with cuts all over their hands and cheeks, but a silver trophy nonetheless.
Honestly, it was almost annoying how often they made it deep into the playoffs. Finn, two years into his retirement and in his first year of teaching, still couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous.
Leo turned to him, ginger ale can raised to his mouth. He swallowed. “What is it, sweetheart?”
Finn nudged his chin. “Look at the folks on the jumbotron.”
Leo did, squinted to read, then grinned a little amusedly. “You jealous?”
Finn scoffed. “No.” He paused. “A little. I don’t know, I’m mostly confused.” He took Leo’s hand, stroking his wedding band and engagement ring. “He just- he never mentioned hooking up with any boys in college. In the year we were apart.”
Leo’s brow furrowed. “Okay. But does it matter?”
Finn shook his head hard. “No. God, of course not, not in that way. It’s just-” He sucked through his teeth. “He was so afraid of not being- straight. He couldn’t even break those walls down for me then, and…” He rolled his eyes. “This is stupid.”
Leo reach up to brush his cheek. “No, it’s not stupid. Tell me.”
Finn played with Leo’s fingers, looking down. “He couldn’t break those walls down for me, even though he loved me. I just don’t understand how he could-” He paused, breath hitching, then moved his eyes upward. Leo was staring at him in his careful way, listening. He was so good at listening. “I just don’t understand how he could break those walls down for somebody else, for another guy, if he couldn’t do it for me.”
“Oh sweetheart,” Leo whispered. “Maybe…” Leo paused, obviously considering his next words carefully. Finn nudged him. “Maybe he did it with them because he didn’t have to break down walls for them. If it was just one time.” He put his pointer finger under Finn’s chin to kiss him. “He loved you so much. Loves you so much. So do I. Sometimes those feelings are so overwhelming- those walls he had for you might not have been about sex, sweetheart.” Leo took a deep breath. “I think- I think they were beyond that. Logan’s love transcends sex, Fish, and I think that was the problem at the time.” He shrugged. “Plus, that person kind of looks like you, yeah? Might’ve just reminded him of you.”
Finn looked down at the guy, who was no longer on the jumbotron but still close to the ice. He saw the lean set of his waist, his broad back. His red hair, his blue eyes. He looked at Leo. “Kind of looks like you, too. The eyes. His build.”
Leo smiled. “Well- Logan was just looking for both of us, then.”
Finn kissed him. “I love you, Le.”
“Love you, too, honey. Lo, too.”
They both turned back to the ice, where the Rangers and Bruins were still doing their warm-ups. Logan had skated over to the group of people, tilting his head in a way that Finn knew meant he was confused. He was reading the sign and then briefly talked to the guy. The guy replied to him, looking both sheepish and excited, then they were both laughing. Logan reached down for a puck, sharpie in hand, signed it and tossed it over the boards. They exchanged a few more words, and Logan tapped his fist to the glass with a smile before skating away.
“Well,” Leo said. “They obviously recognize each other. And they seemed friendly. That’s a good thing, I think.”
Finn hummed in agreement, but he was still confused. Leo, sensing his lingering hesitation, cupped his jaw, gentle but firm, and turned to kiss him. When he pulled away, he looked resolute, his eyes loving and determined.
“Us three, sweetheart,” he whispered. “Forever.”
Finn smiled, relaxing. Leo smiled back. He looked so gorgeous when he smiled that Finn had to kiss him again. “Yeah, baby. Forever and ever.”
He watched the game mostly tucked under Leo’s arm, even when they were standing. Logan played hard, he always did, but the playoffs made him even more determined. He stick-handled deftly, checked hard but clean. His game was efficient and well thought out, and he seemed to have eyes in the back of his head with the way that he kept finding his guys. Finn loved watching him, always had. He loved watching Logan even more with Leo at his side, a warm weight around him. Leo knew how special Logan was, watched him so lovingly. Leo was special. Finn was so lucky.
They pulled out a win in overtime, with an incredible wrist shot from the dot by Zibanejad. Logan had scored two goals in regulation, both assisted by Luke. They weren’t like how Finn and Logan had been when they’d played together, but they were as close as anyone could get, Finn thought. He was glad Logan had someone in his corner like that in New York.
After the game, he and Leo said goodbye to Logan’s family, Thomas, who came with Noelle, and Adelaida, Logan’s sister Sydney’s girlfriend, before heading down to wait outside the locker room. Finn knew he was gripping Leo’s hand and forearm hard, but Leo just turned and placed a kiss on his forehead. They were standing there against the wall for Finn didn’t know how long, his head on Leo’s shoulder with his eyes half-closed. He was suddenly tired, and Leo was soft and warm. Logan would be, too.
Beside them, the locker room door opened and someone took a surprised inhale. “Oh,” Logan said. “Soleil. Rouge.” He stepped in front of them, his smile soft. He glanced at their hands, then at their faces. “Bonjour, mes amours.”
“Hi, honey,” Leo said, reaching with his free arm to pull Logan towards them and into a kiss. “Good game. You played so well.”
“Hm,” Logan said into another kiss. “Merci, mon coeur.” He turned his face up to Finn and smiled. “Finn.”
God, Finn loved the way Logan said his name. “Hi, baby,” he said, smiling and kissing him. “You looked so good out there.” He leaned down to bite at Logan’s jaw. “So good.”
Logan hummed happily, his head against Leo’s chest, eyes pointed down. He was looking at Finn and Leo’s intertwined hands. Finn knew he was still squeezing tightly. “Quoi? Ça va?” He looked up. Busted. “What’s wrong?”
Leo looked at Finn, and then at Logan, whose eyes were flitting between their faces. Eventually, he nodded and bit his lip, placing a hard kiss on each of their foreheads. “Is there a room, Lo? Or do we wanna go home, talk?”
At that, Finn looked up at him. “Home.”
Logan was still worried, but understood. Leo shouldered Logan’s bag with a kiss to his head, and with his now free arms Logan hugged Finn around the waist briefly. Finn wrapped his arms around Logan’s neck, tucking his face into Logan’s hair. He smelled clean, like the showers. Finn could breath in his scent, Leo’s scent, for eternity. After a few seconds, he felt Leo’s hand on his back and pulled away. “Okay,” he said, grabbing Logan’s hand. “Let’s go home.”
Leo drove them to Logan’s apartment, Logan following behind in his Jeep that he’d taken earlier to the arena. Finn played with Leo’s fingers, which were resting on his thigh and rubbing softly. He looked over to Leo’s side profile: his cut jaw, his curls, his careful eyes watching the road. Finn took a deep breath. When his voice came out, it was soft. “Do you think he’ll get mad at me?”
Leo looked at him briefly from the road. “No, sweetheart. No, I don’t think he will get mad.” He brought Finn’s hand to his mouth and kissed over his wedding band and his engagement ring. He had Logan’s on his hand, today, Leo’s around his neck on a chain. “He isn’t going anywhere, Finn. He loves you too much.”
Finn squeezed his hand. “He loves you, too, Le, baby.” He kissed Leo’s knuckles in return. “I love you.”
Leo just smiled. “Love you.”
They pulled up at the same time as Logan, Leo once again grabbing Logan’s bags from the car. Logan grabbed for Finn’s hand, but Finn just wrapped his arms around Logan’s waist and kissed him hard. He smiled, and felt Logan smile back. “Love you, Tremblay.”
Logan giggled in the way he only did for the two of them. “Je t’aime, rouge.”
Finn turned around, then bent down. He looked over his shoulder. “Jump.”
“Quoi?” Logan’s brow was furrowed.
“Jump,” Finn said again. “I’m being a nice husband. You just played an NHL playoff game. It’s prince-treatment tonight.”
Leo laughed. “Oh, God, that’s going to go to his head now.”
Logan just smiled, all teeth. “Oh man”, he said, mocking Finn’s accent. Finn just stuck his tongue out as Logan jumped onto his back, arms around his neck. “I’m a lucky prince.” He pointed ahead of them. “Onward, mon rouge.”
Finn just fake dropped him, catching him under his thighs as Logan made an ah! sound. Finn blindly smacked at his legs. “I’m not a horse, ten.”
Leo rolled his eyes with a grin. “Let’s go, His Royal Highness and his trusty steed.”
Logan was warm along Finn’s back all the way up to the apartment, pressing kisses along the base of his neck. Leo opened the door for them and patted Logan’s butt as they walked through, earning himself a cheeky grin. Logan wiggled to get down, but Finn gripped his thighs harder, carrying him over to the couch. Realizing what was going to happen, Logan tried again. “Rouge-”
But Finn ignored him, sitting down backwards on the couch, squashing Logan a bit underneath him with a satisfied sigh. “Ah,” he said. “My favorite couch cushion.”
Logan just pinched his side and bit his neck. “Rouge.”
“Ow,” Finn said. “Didn’t know couch cushions bite.”
“Ouais, this one does.”
Finn let Logan have a little room to scoot upwards and fully sit, then flopped down, his back to Logan’s chest. He laced their hands on his stomach, slumped down a little to accommodate for the height difference. Leo settled down alongside them.
“Wow,” he said, eyebrows raised in amusement. “Look at you, Tremblay. Finally of service, and not being serviced.”
Logan rolled his eyes, but reach his hand out. “Ici, soleil.”
Leo complied, snuggling up along their sides, one arm along the back of the couch and the other on Finn’s side. He threw his left leg over Finn’s, settling down. “I take back what I just said.”
Logan just smiled and kissed him contentedly. Finn settled his head back on Logan’s left shoulder and slouched down further so he could lean and watch the both of them. Gorgeous. Both of them were so gorgeous.
Leo pulled away first, giving Logan one last peck before turning his eyes to Finn’s. He somehow always knew what they were thinking, everything on their faces written out plainly for him. Logan, upon seeing Leo’s gaze, turned to look down, too. He furrowed his brow. “Rouge?” He lifted Finn more firmly to his chest. “Want to tell me what’s wrong?”
Finn could feel himself panicking a little, breathing heavy. Leo just squeezed his thigh, nudging his chin in a go on gesture. Finn took a deep breath, looking down at his and Logan’s hands laced across his stomach. He played with Logan’s rings briefly, collecting his thoughts.
“When you were warming up,” he started. “I saw- there was this guy. With his friends, and they had signs. And you went to talk to him, and the guy…” He took a shaky breath in, pressing harder back into Logan’s solid chest. Logan held him tighter. “His sign said something about- Harvard? And sex? Or- insinuating sex… with you.” He could feel Logan’s sudden intake of breath and turned his head to look into his eyes. “Not that that’s bad. God, Lo, I’m not gonna judge you for that. I know we-” His eyes were wettening. “We both had… other people when we weren’t at Harvard together. Hell, even when we were. I just-” He stopped, a heavy weight settling in his chest.
“Rouge,” Logan whispered, nudging his cheek with his nose. “Dites-moi. Tell me.”
Finn whimpered slightly, feeling Leo’s hand come up to stroke his neck. He was so grateful for their touch, for their strength, in moments like this. “I didn’t know you had slept with another man,” he said. “And I… oh God, this is awful.”
He had really started crying then, and Logan made a panicked sound. He started grabbing for Finn to turn him around, but Finn was so stiff that Leo had to stand up and help him. Together, they moved Finn so he was straddling Logan’s lap, facing his husbands, Logan and Leo’s hands on his hips, steadying him. Logan leaned up to kiss his cheeks wet cheeks.
“Rouge,” Logan whispered, a little frantically. “Rouge, what’s wrong? Mon coeur, mon coeur…”
“Sorry,” Finn got out. Leo shushed him, hand going to the back of his neck and squeezing. “Sorry, sorry, it’s not you. It’s just, what I’m about to say makes me feel really guilty, I’m sorry-”
“Rouge,” Logan said again, nose against Finn’s jaw. “Donne le moi. It’s okay. Give it to me.”
“Okay, okay,” Finn started, sitting up and away. He wiped his cheeks and looked at his husbands, their eyes patient if not a bit concerned. “What I was going to say is-” He cleared is through. “Is that I- it surprised me to see that, to see the man with the sign because…” Finn took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Because you broke down your walls to have sex with him, and not for me.”
Logan made a noise low in his throat, and looked to Leo. “Quoi?”
Leo brushed Finn’s hair back from his forehead like he sometimes did. “Finn, honey, it’s okay.” He turned to Logan. “It’s okay, it makes sense.” Back to Finn. “Go on, sweetheart.”
“Yeah,” Finn said, swallowing. “Yeah, okay. Lo,” he said, looking into Logan’s eyes. “I was surprised because… because, back then, you were so afraid of being not straight…” He had expected Logan to wince, or look away, but he just nodded, stroking a finger down Finn’s cheek. Finn, boldened, continued on. “And I thought that, if you couldn’t let your walls down to have me, who you… who you loved- how could you let your walls down for him? And it’s not-” He closed his eyes again, guilt creeping in. “It’s not that I’m trying to make it about me in that sense, it’s your body- I just don’t understand I guess. Leo said-” He stopped again, gripping at the hand that Leo offered him. “Leo said that it might’ve been different, because what we had- what we have- that goes beyond sex. It goes beyond everything.” He looked at Logan. “You’re everything.” Looked at Leo. “You’re both everything.” Back to Logan. “I- I’m obviously okay with it, I’m not here to judge. But I just- I think I’m hurt. Not by what you did, but just- a surprised hurt. A reliving-my-sad-days hurt.” He laughed a little self-deprecatingly. “You did a number on me Tremblay.”
Logan whined. “Finn-”
“No, no, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” Finn said. “It’s not important- we figured that out years ago.” He grabbed Leo’s hand, the one with his rings, and held it up alongside his own, flashing his own rings. “Now I’m yours forever, huh? And you get two, Tremblay. You lucky duck.”
Logan couldn’t help but laugh, a little tearily, staring at their hands then Finn’s face. “Ouais. The luckiest.” His smile faded a little. “But, Finn- I know I wasn’t okay back then.”
Finn shook his head. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
Logan gripped his hip harder with one hand, then reached for Leo and Finn’s hands with the other. “Non, non, that’s not what I was going to say.” He played with their rings. “Mais, ouais, not exactly what I was going to say.”
Finn and Leo straightened up, Leo leaning over to kiss the side of Logan’s head. Logan looked to him, and smiled. “Mon soleil.”
“Toujours.”
Logan smiled wider, then looked at Finn. “I never slept with any men. That I knew of.”
Finn jerked back a bit, confused. “What? But the guy-”
Logan shook his head. “Merde, that came out wrong.” He laughed a little. “That was Sam. He was a freshman when I was a senior, played on the women’s rugby team. He still went by Sam back then, so it clicked when he reintroduced himself today, but- he hadn’t come out yet.”
Leo’s eyes widened, then he grinned broadly. “Oh. Oh. Oh, that’s so sweet.”
Finn was still confused. “What? I’m still confused.”
Logan laughed. “He’s trans, Fish.”
Finn’s mouth opened, then he choked out a laugh. “Oh. Oh my God, that makes so much sense.” He pushed his hips down into Logan. “You slept with him- before he came out as a man. So he didn’t- he didn’t know he was a man, then?”
Logan shrugged. “Might’ve known, I’m not sure. It was one time.” His smiled softened. “His partner plays hockey. They were there, too. Had the sign about my hair.” That made Leo laugh, his nose scrunching, and Logan reached his hand out to pinch it lightly. “Tres mignon, mon soleil.” He brought his hand down. “He just wanted to say thanks, I guess. Said it meant a lot to see other… ‘not straight’ players out there.” Logan grinned slyly as he finished his sentence.
Finn just smiled. “Hey, you said it.”
Logan just kissed him. “I’m not with you because you’re a man, mon rouge,” he said. His eyes had turned soft, firm, and a little desperate. “I’m with you because you’re Finn, because…” His breath hitched, and he brought his temple to rest against Finn’s. “Because you’re mine. Because we are supposed to be together.” He leaned back to look at Leo, brushing a hand to his cheek. “All of us. You’re both mine.” He huffed a breath. “I don’t- I don’t know if I would have knowingly been with another man besides you, mon rouge, but… but I don’t think that’s what matters.” He took both of their hands with their wedding rings and pressed his mouth to them. His breath warmed the metal, and Finn felt like he was going to burst from the love floating around the room. “What matters is that I love you. Vous êtes tous ma vie, mes amours. Vous êtes tous tout.” He looked at each of them in turn, kissed them both lightly. “My life. My everything. And sex with you both, it’s…” He grinned a little sheepishly, his cheeks reddening. “C'est tellement bon. The best. The best because you’re my everything.”
Leo was a bit teary as he pulled Logan in to kiss him again, then Finn. His lips were soft against Finn’s own, all warmth and sunshine just like the rest of him. “Oh, sweethearts, you are everything.” He sniffled, then grinned a little mischievously. “You know, when I first told my mom we were dating, when I told her it was gonna be a lot- she said that I could’ve said that I was going to marry a sea turtle and she would’ve thrown us a party.”
That got them all to laugh, Logan’s chest shaking under where Finn’s hands were resting on his pecs.
“Non, soleil,” Logan said, smile so wide his eyes scrunched. “No sea turtles.” He looked at Finn. “But not bad, eh?”
“I don’t know,” Leo said. “Sometimes you both are more trouble than you’re worth, I think.”
Finn scoffed, reaching his arms out to shove him lightly. “Yeah, right.” He stuck his nose up, crossing his arms. “No more foot rubs for you then, peanut.”
Logan pinched his side, and Leo leaned forward to kiss at his neck. “Alright, baby,” Leo said, exasperated. “You know I love you and all your trouble.”
Finn turned his head, squinting his eyes for a moment before conceding and kissing him. “Uh huh, that’s what I thought.”
“Oh, rouge,” Logan sighed. “You’re just the most trouble.”
Leo snorted. “You’re one to talk, His Royal Highness Prince Tremblay.”
“Non,” Logan retorted, leaning in to kiss Leo deeply, a bit heatedly, if Finn had to say. “Being trouble and demanding are two different things.”
Leo laughed, the sound reverberating across the living room. He settled back into the couch, leaning heavily against their sides. Finn slumped forward and dropped his head into the crook of Logan’s neck. “I’m sorry I freaked you out, Lo, baby,” he said softly.
Logan scratched his back. “Non, it’s okay. It’s good.” He kissed Finn’s head. “Feels good we make a difference, non?”
Finn sat up slightly, turning to look at his two boys. Maybe Logan was right- it didn’t matter that they were all boys. Not in the context of their relationship just existing between them. Finn would love them any way he could have them, he was sure of it. But to the world, to others like them, it did matter. It mattered enough that someone was brave enough to talk to Logan at the game, that kids showed up to the LGBTQ+ hockey camps Leo ran in the summer. It mattered to Finn’s students, when they walked into his classroom and saw a Pride flag, when they saw the wedding pictures on his desk of three men, committed to each other for life because they were in love. So deeply, deeply in love.
That’s all that mattered, Finn thought. The devotion was important. The commitment, too. But more than anything, the thing that made the difference was the love. All of the beautiful, fulfilling love.“Ouais,” he said in an attempt to mimic Logan’s accent. His husbands smiled down at him, all gorgeous and lovely and his. “Feels good to be in love."