Just Happy Crying From Feeling Seen - Blog Posts

Crystals and Confessions

(Part 1 | Part 2)

Pairing: Dh!Master x Autistic!Reader

Word Count: 3000

Summary: The Master has recently had an epiphany, and feels the need to impress the reader. Unfortunately, it doesn’t go quite to plan.

Hurt/comfort with autistic!reader.

Warnings: Sensory overload/shutdown, self-deprecating language

A/N: There is now a second part, linked above 😊

Unknown to you, The Master had recently had an epiphany of sorts - or rather, he had finally realised that his feelings for you had developed further than friendship. He had spent a few weeks trying to deny the fact, or get rid of the new feelings, but just as he thought he was successful you would do something cute like jumping up and down when you were happy and he would just fall in love with you again.

So now, he was coming up with a plan to win your affections, narrowing down his list of planets that would hopefully impress you enough that you might fall in love with him too.

After a few hours of some very detailed research he found the perfect planet, Zacrypso. It had pale pink skies and waters to match, and the grass was a vibrant blue-green. Though the main reason he wanted to take you there was for the sounds the crystal leaves make when they moved in the wind, it was supposed to be beautifully melodic (at least according to the brochure). Of course, he was going to take you to a time before anyone had found the planet, so you wouldn’t be interrupted by any blithering aliens.

Though you normally liked knowing exactly when and where the two of you were going, The Master had been able to convince you to take a surprise trip. There was a minor hiccup when he entered the co-ordinates and his TARDIS deleted everything he had typed in, causing him to start over again after a quick kick to the TARDIS console (which seemed to stop her from intervening any further).

Finally, the two of you arrived on the planet. The Master grinned at you, earning a slightly nervous smile on response. He wasn’t worried though, that would turn into a proper smile once you saw Zacrypso.

————

Truthfully, you were worried about a surprise trip. You always liked to know where you were going in advance so that you could prepare for any potential sensory issues or outright object if it was going to be too much of an issue. What didn’t help was the fact that you hadn’t actually told The Master about being autistic yet.

At first it had been because he already saw humans as weak and you didn’t want to give him anymore reasons to think that. Now though, it was more because the longer you put it off the more awkward it got, so you just tried to ignore that issue as best you could.

Still, you had been hesitant to accept his offer of a surprise trip, but when he looked at you with such an excited expression there was no way you could break his heart by rejecting his offer.

So now you were stood by his side in front of the TARDIS doors trying desperately to calm your nerves. When he opened the doors all of your nerves were momentarily put aside and replaced with wonder for the planet in front of you.

It was unlike anything you had ever seen, the colours were beautiful and you had to stop just to admire the place for a moment.

You were so focused on admiring the place that you didn’t notice the way The Master was looking at you as you slowly stepped out of the TARDIS (which had disguised itself as a purple-grey log).

“You like it?” He asked, and when you looked to him there was only a small and slightly smug smile on his face.

“Yes, it’s beautiful! Thank you Master.” You averted your gaze at the last bit in hopes to stop you from becoming overly flustered.

Unfortunately you could feel your heart beating away very quickly and you really hoped that his Time Lord hearing couldn’t pick up on the sound. The last thing you wanted was for him to kick you off the TARDIS because you had caught feelings for him and he didn’t reciprocate. Though in moments like these you couldn’t help but feel hopeful that maybe he had fallen for you too.

Pushing those thoughts aside, you followed him as he lead you further into the planet, towards a forest that you could just about make out in the distance. As you walked he would occasionally tell you facts about the planet, like why the sky was pink or why the grass was turquoise, but mostly you walked together in comfortable silence.

Once you started to get closer to the forest you heard a ringing in your ears, and while at first you thought it was just your head going funny, you soon realised that the noise was coming from the forest.

It was a strange sound, almost like wind chimes, it was beautiful and unlike anything you had ever heard before. Though, when you started to get closer to the forest the sound became a tad overwhelming. Still, you tried to ignore the growing tension in your body and continued in the direction of the noise.

Briefly, you looked towards The Master and saw a very satisfied smile on his face, showing he was clearly content, which urged you to carry on. Unfortunately, as you got closer and closer to the noise, you felt the tension in your body starting to grow as you became overwhelmed.

“What’s making that nose?” You asked The Master in hopes of distracting yourself.

“It’s the crystal leaves on the trees. As the wind moves around it creates different tunes. Basically like natural wind chimes.” His smile had grown while speaking to you and you felt your heart beating faster again, though now you weren’t sure whether it was because of him or the growing sense of discomfort.

The Master continued on and though you knew you were following him you were struggling to stay focused on anything other than the very loud and overwhelming noises.

No matter how much you wanted to stay for The Master, you knew that you wouldn’t be able to cope with it for much longer, and secretly started hoping that he would just get bored and decide to go back to the TARDIS.

————

The Master was overjoyed, because his plan was working. Seeing the look on your face when you saw the planet was almost enough to make him kiss you right there, though he managed to restrain himself. He loved watching you as the two of you walked towards the forest, so delighted by the planet he had taken you to and absolutely fascinated by any facts he had told you.

The two of you had finally made it to the forest and he was actually impressed that the leaves sounded exactly like the brochure had described. The Master had turned to look at you and he took in your wide eyes and small smile and, well, he had definitely hoped for a better reaction, but you were probably just in shock.

Then you had asked him about the noise and his smile grew after he described it to you and your face seemed slightly more in awe of the place he had taken you to. He continued on further, just taking in the surroundings. If he was being honest, it was quite nice to take a break from your usual adventures, which often involved some sort of crime. Like how on your last adventure the two of you had charmed your way into a royal court, just for the two of you to steal the planet’s most treasured jewels. He always loved the thrill that bought him - not to mention the money that was acquired after selling the goods off to the highest bidder - but he knew that he would probably enjoy any situation as long as you were content by his side.

He turned back to try and catch a glimpse of your awe-filled expression, only to see your eyes flickering all around the forest, and a clear tension in the way you were holding yourself. The Master had expected you to be excited and amazed, not panicked like you currently were. On that note, why were you panicked? He had checked the planet when the two of you had landed, there were no hostile life forms. In fact, the only life forms were the plants and small critters.

Upon realising that he had no clue what had caused your panicked state, he walked over to you.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked in his gentlest voice, trying not to scare you any further.

“It’s fine, I’m fine.” Your response was strained and he tried not to feel hurt that you were trying to hide your discomfort from him.

“No you’re not, what’s wrong (y/n)?”

There was a pause before you finally spoke, “it’s too much”.

“What’s too much?”

“The noise, it’s too much, it hurts.”

He could tell that you weren’t kidding from the way you were holding yourself and the tears that pricked at the edges of your eyes. However, he was still confused, his hearing was much more sensitive than yours, but the noise wasn’t hurting him. Still, he could worry about that later, right now he needed to get you out of the forest.

“Okay, uh, does putting your hands over your ears help?” You nodded, “okay, do that. Just follow me, yeah? I’ll get you away from the noise.” You nodded again and he started slowly guiding you out of the forest.

Every few steps he would look back to make sure you were still following him, until the two of you eventually made it out of the forest. The Master checked you over once before continuing to lead you to the TARDIS.

Honestly, he was scared, scared that you would blame him for whatever happened; scared that you would want to stop travelling; scared that you would never love him now. Though he was mostly scared that you wouldn’t be okay, and really that was all he wanted for you.

After what seemed like eternity but was really only a half-an-hour walk later, the two of you had made it back to the TARDIS. Pausing and resting his hand on the door, The Master looked over at you; your hands were still firmly over your ears despite the fact that you wouldn’t be able to hear the forest anymore, and your stare was burning a hole into the ground.

When he entered the TARDIS he saw a sofa in the console room that hadn’t been their previously, it had several pillows and a very soft looking yellow blanket on-top of it, as well as the headphones that he had seen you wearing around the TARDIS. You were stood rather awkwardly just inside the doorway, so he gently guided you to sit down on the sofa.

Automatically, you pulled the blanket up around yourself, giving The Master the opportunity to place your headphones on your head. Taking a step back he gazed as your slightly more relaxed form, you hadn’t said a word since the two of you had gotten out of the forest, and he was very worried that you wouldn’t want to speak to him again after this disaster of an idea.

Trying to distract himself from those thoughts, he made his way over to the console and started piloting away from Zacrypso. By the time the TARDIS had landed back in the time vortex, you had fallen asleep, and his heart twinged still hoe adorable you looked snuggled up on the sofa.

Walking as quietly as possible, he left the room and headed towards the kitchen, planning on getting you a drink and something to eat for when you would wake up. Even if you did want to leave after this, he was still going to take care of you.

————

When you woke up a few hours later you were confused and slightly groggy, especially since you were sat on a sofa in the TARDIS console room that had definitely never been there before. Beside you there was a small table with a glass of water and a sandwich placed on it. As you started to look around the room more you noticed that The Master was hunched underneath the console, and from what you could hear he was working on fixing or updating something.

Not wanting to disturb him, you grabbed the glass of water and tried not to think about your sensory overload that had happened earlier. You had known that a surprise trip wasn’t going to be a good idea, but now you were probably going to be kicked off the TARDIS for getting too upset over what was supposed to be a beautiful noise.

When you put the glass down it made more noise than you had anticipated, and The Master looked round to face you, finally noticing that you were awake. He placed down his tools before walking over to you and kneeling in front of where you were sat on the sofa.

“Are you feeling better? Is there anything you need?”

Okay, so that wasn’t exactly what you had been expecting. To be honest, you had been prepared for yelling and insults and tears, so his current behaviour had caught you off guard.

“Uhh, no I’m uh, I’m okay. Thanks.” You gave an awkward little laugh at the end of the sentence.

“Are you sure? I can get you anything you need.” He looked so hopeful that you would ask him to help you out, but at the moment you didn’t really need anything.

“I’m sure, I’m good now.” The smile that you gave him was small but genuine, and you hoped it would bring some comfort to him.

“Oh, okay.” Nodding to himself he stood up, and you expected him to get back to his work, but to your surprise he just sat down on the sofa next to you.

The two of you sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes before you finally gathered the courage to ask him some questions.

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

He looked up at you, seemingly shocked, “What do you mean?”

“It’s just, you hate humans. You think we’re weak and stupid and pathetic - I just thought that you would have taken this opportunity to finally kick me off the TARDIS…” As you spoke you got quieter and quieter, shrinking under his rather intense gaze.

“Yes, humans, but not you - you’re the exception. I could never see you as weak or stupid or pathetic. If anything I thought you’d want to leave because of me.”

“Because of you? Why?”

“Well, I took you to that planet. It’s my fault you got hurt. I should have done more research, to make sure it was 100% human safe. Rassilon, I still haven’t figured out why you were hurting in the first place.” He stood up at the last part and started pacing.

The Master seemed genuinely worried about you, and that was something you had never expected to see.

“It’s uh, it was my fault. I’ve been keeping something from you and if you had known this could have been easily avoided.” He turned to you with a puzzled look on your face but you didn’t let him say anything as you continued on. “I’m autistic, and I know I should have told you, but I just thought you’d see me as weak and you wouldn’t want me to travel with you.”

You were staring down at the floor, now very worried about what might happen. Did he even know what being autistic meant?

“Oh (y/n), I would never have thrown you off the TARDIS for that. I’d never throw you off the TARDIS full stop. And while you are completely right that if you had just told me that you’re autistic none of this would have happened, it was my fault for not making you feel as though you were in a safe enough environment to tell me.” The Master had come to sit next to you again, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything to him.

No one had ever reacted like that when you told them you were autistic, why was it that the psychopathic alien who had committed genocide on multiple occasions was being kinder to you than most people you had known?

“I guess we’re both idiots then.” You chuckled, trying to ease some of the tension. “Next time something like this happens, I’ll tell you as soon as things start to get too much - that way you won’t have to worry about me.”

“I think I’ll be worrying about you anyways, but it would be nice to know when you need my help.” He smiled at you fondly and you found yourself very flustered yet again. Luckily you didn’t have to speak just then, as he continued on. “How about we spend today in the TARDIS watching stupid movies and playing games, and then we get back to committing crimes tomorrow?”

Forcing yourself to look back up at him, you felt a smile form on your face, “that sounds great.”

The Master stood up from the sofa, held his hand out to you and lifted you up as well, not letting go of your hand even as the two of you started walking down one of the corridors.

You finally felt like you had a weight had been lifted off your shoulders after finally telling him one of your secrets. Of course, you still had another secret, and before today’s events you had never even considered telling him of your feelings for him. However, given the way he had taken care of you, you had a little hope that maybe he could like you back.

Still, that was definitely a confession for another day, for now you were just going to enjoy spending time with The Master.