Danny's halfa status gets discovered by his parents and they go full trigger-happy on him. He barely manages to escape, but he is severly wounded still. He's sixteen.
Dani (or Elle or however you wanna call her) finds him by chance (oh nononono Clockwork had nothing to do with this, wink wink) and yoinks him up to bring him somewhere safe. She's a little distracted, so she doesn't notice when she runs -or, well, flies- into a house. Literally. (nop definitely not Clocky's fault)
John Constantine nearly has a heart attack when two fucking ectoplasmic ghosts, the most solid, most radioactive, strongest, most destructive fucking ghosts crash through his window and land right in front of him. For some reason, the House of Mistery hasn't even cursed them despite being uninvited. He's like "welp, guess I'll die, but I ain't going down without a fight" until Dani starts crying and begging for him to help her brother. Then he's panicking because holy fuck these are kids, there's a bleeding dead child in his house.
Then Dani de-transforms and Danny's trandformation breaks as he falls unconcious and holy fuck now there's two very alive kids who used to be dead like, a minute ago and fucking shit that's a lot of blood.
So Constantine patches Danny up and Dani tells them they've got nowhere to go. She's a clone with noo family except for Danny and, well, his parents are the ones that almost make him go from half-dead to fully dead. On a whim, John decides fuck it and lets them stay at his house however long they need to. The House of Mistery is really fucking big after all nd it's already full of monsters and shit, what's two more ghosts to haunt it?
So they spend time together. Shennanigans ensue and a pranking war or two happen at some point. Those fuckers cause him so much trouble he's sure if he hadn't tricked his way into inmortaality he would be getting gray hairs.
Then, at some point, the ghost siblings do something that's incredibly fucking stupid like open up a book of spells constantine hadn't taught them yet and going ballistic through the house, chasing monsters and playing with literal fire. He fixes whatever nonsense situation they'd gotten themselves in (since when was he the one to fix other people's problems?) and scolds them for being dumb and irresponsible when he hits that oh in italics moment and realizes oh shit, I'm a father now.
He scoops them both up in an embrace and tells them thay could have gotten hurt and they both go oh shit, we have a father now.
Basically their dinamic doesn't change, except Dani and Danny call him dad sometimes. They talk about life and death and dying when he finds out they don't have a grave, not even a cenotaph!
The Phantom duo hadn't really thought it was that important. Sure, they were half-dead, but not all the way, why would they need a grave? They didn't even have a body to bury!
But their dad, with his magic, makes them each a gravestone anyway. He puts their names in it, on Danny's he puts his date of birth and death when he was 14, and on Dani's he puts the day she was created and the day she fell through his window.
"Why that day?" she asks. "I was already dead then."
"You were born dead. The dates on a grave are to mark a person's journey and tell their tale. I put the day yoour journey started, and the day it enden, when you came here to rest."
And that was that. He put their graves on the house's prettiest spot on the garden. He placed flowers and lit up candles on them. He put protections on them so nothing would be able to harm them.
Danny and Dani felt lighter, as if a weight they didn't know they carried suddently lifted. Their bodies filled with warmth and love everytime their dad left flowers on their cenotaphs or they left them for each other. They were thankfull for them now.
Meanwhile, the JL and the JL Dark were both getting worried. Sure, Constantine was always sectretive and distant, but this was already excessive. He barely picked any calls, and when he did he barely talked and sounded incredibly tired (Dani and Danny's fault). When they had a meeting, he looked like death warmed over. Tired, disheveled and depressed (damn he missed the little shits, he couldn't wait until the meeting was over to get back home) and he always got a longing look every time he saw one of them with their protegés (he really misses his kids, damn he's got it bad for them). This has been going on for a few months and he's only getting worse.
So they ask to go visit him. Y'know, to go check on him. Just to see if he was okay. Constantine's annoyed but his kids convince him to let his friends visit him. They don't want to be seen by them (they're kinda scared of strangers) but they think their dad should hang out with his co-workers. It's not healthy to be cooped up in the house, even they get visits from Sam and Tucker!
So the JLD came to the House of Mistery. They were just catching up a bit when some magic fuckery happens and somehow they end up on the gardens outside the house (which is really just some grass and wildflowers John calls a garden). Constantine tells them to stay there untill he comes back from fixing whatever the fuck that was.
Of course, they don't stand still. They go fuck arround the "garden" while they wait for him to get back, and they come across two tombstones. Their blood runs cold when they read the names.
Daniel and Danielle Constantine.
Daniel had been dead for two years, but he was only fourteen. Danielle had been born a month or two after Daniel had, so whoever their mother was had been already pregnant when Daniel died. The girl, just two years old, had died very recently. She died just when Constantine had started to act strange.
Their friend was grieving his kids. Fuck, they didn't even know John was a father! Where was the mother? Was he married? Why didn't he tell them? Was the mother dead? Why wasn't she burried there, then? Had she left? Was their friend grieving alone?
They got back to where their companion told them to wait in. Now they understood why he didn't want them snooping arround. They decided to help their friend however they could.
Misunderstandings happen.
I? Just remembered that Constantine's "Laughing Magician"(?) title is... f*ckin HEREDITARY?
Like?? As in The Constantine Meances have been out here, harrasing divinity and demons alike for GENERATIONS on behalf of a Good Time, the Lols, and probably Humanity if they can be arsed and you make a good case.
W... What chance would there even BE of at least like? HALF those f*ckers(conflicted but affectionate) NOT becoming Realms Ghosts? With the sh*t they're exposed too? With THEIR luck??
You think DEATH can trick them? Take them away for good? Take away the local Rat B@stard, Tricks Gods Just To See If He Can, Fate Is My Second Mistress and I Cuckold Glory On Your Mother's Bed, Constantine?
They run down main street, *ss in the breeze, wearing someone else's shirt and two shoes that don't match, not a stitch else, like run away lovers. Let Death TRY and catch them. Sorry, Luv, it's not them, it's definitely you.
No joke, I bet they set up a whole *ss TOWN of Constantine.
Where the odds are in THEIR favor, gods fear to tread, and reality straight out stops working right. Like Diagonal Ally for B*stards, extended to a whole floating island. Everyone's related. It's Chaos. They can barely stand each other. Would sell each other for a toothpick.
Mess with ANY off them... and you can kiss your afterlife good bye.
They have NO neighbors because both no ones dumb enough to get NEAR them AND no one can stand to be around that many Constantines at once. The physical Manifestation of Fate wants to take the whole LOT of the handsy F*CKS to court for child support and a restraining order.
Somehow... they keep getting Earth Booze.
They SHOULDN'T have access. It's been anywhere from decade to centuries since they died. Millennium for a few. Howms't The F*CK, do they keep getting cheap gin and vodka? Bourbon and beer? Even the odd fruity cocktail for funnies.
Please... PLEASE! Tell the Zone at large, that their innate birthright powers STOPPED at Death. They... they are just REALLY good at smuggling right? Excellent con men?
Tell us they can't f*ckin PREDICT AND INFLUENCE Natural Portals!!!
*smug sipping noises from a large room full of Dead @ssholes*
Okay... They Won't Tell You~ 🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺 *siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip*
Now! I hear you ask? Why are John's Terrible, Terrible, God Awful Ghostly Relatives relevant? Absurdly powerful as they are... they seem to take the afterlife as an extended "Ha! GET F*CKED, DEMONS WHO WANTED MY SOUL!" Vacation/Family get together.
Minded their business and expected everyone to mind THEIRS, or ELSE.
Didn't give two solitary SH*TS that Pariah woke from his little nappy-poo to cause a tantrum. After all, in their family? When DOESN'T some "great and terrible Power That Be" get itself in a snit? Meh... it's baby Johnny's turn to clean sh*t up. Best of luck to 'im~I'm!
But THEN!
They must've been drinking... making out with their equally terrible and bamf trainwreck significant others... sitting around playing "who can cheat best at cards"... when? Huh.
Never seen the Fate and The Odds... STRANGLE like that.
Billions of billions of What-Ifs, Maybes, Could-bes, and more... suddenly YANKED towards a single spot. The allowance of Only One Outcome. Almost like what they can do, but... not, WRONG, per say...
Just... impossible.
There's NEVER.. JUST one way this plays out. You can control the big notes. The script. But the details and set dressing will always decide themselves.
NO ONE can just... Decide What Will Happen. And yet?
...............was....... was that Little Johnny? Has to be. Right? Where's his old man? Oi! Was that your Kid??! John's closest relatives are baffled. Nope. They can still feel him laying a beat down on some demon in Norway. So then? Who?
How?
Well mark them CURIOUS(tm).
They decide to actually get up. Put their various drinks and cards down. Put pants on. Somebody's done something... INTERESTING(TM) and they want to know what's up. So? Off they trot.
It's traumatizing from everyone who sees them. The Constantines have breached f*ckin B*stard Containment and are spilling into the Zone. On this! The DAY Pariah Waged A War! THEY JUST GOT RID OF HIM!
And Danny? His everything hurts. The Eyeballs are starting to come out of the woodwork and ARGUE about him like he's not even there. He's DANGEROUS blah blah blah. Give them the crown. Right now! Etc etc.
Somethings telling him not too.
It's... it's HIS isn't it? Has been for centuries and seconds. And... and... everyone one of him is King. There is only one of him. The Zone covers all the multiverse and all of the Hims that were and aren't here and helped and... and...! His head is starting to hurt.
But the more they try to push him to hand it over, the less he feels like unhanding the dang gaudy thing. No. His now. He'll use it as a DOOR stopper if he dang well feels like it! Stop yelling.
Then all these blonde ghosts saunter in... and all he can think is "F*ck. I think they noticed."
Huh?
@stealingyourbones @cyrwrites @bjurnberg @the-witchhunter @hdgnj