Some people joke about depression and being suicidal like it's funny. But it's not. It's like you'll never be good enough. Like no one loves no matter how hard you try. Like you are a total failure. It gets worse when you are just numb. No emotions, no happiness, no sadness, no anger, nothing. Just empty. Like there's nothing inside your body, like you are just a shell. And you want to die but you are too scared to try because you are afraid that you'll survive and you'll have to face the world with that. As someone who had gone through this, as a suicide survivor (though only a few friends knows), it fucking hurts when people joke about it like it's nothing. It's not. It's bloody not.