I'm Not Crying You're Crying - Blog Posts
Pomni, newly sentient, finds out how fucked Kinger is in the head...
Sigh... I missed him, chat...
kofi✨
if jeremy and michael knew each other, don't you think the bites would feel rather similar?
TW: Mention of Death
Rainy Days
"The rain was always your favorite. You always loved listening to it patter against the rooftops. Remember when we would sit out on the porch and just listen to the rain. You loved the smell of the rain, too. You opened all the windows in the house, and it would always smell like fresh air and clean laundry," Sugawara said, stroking your cheek.
He smiled as he looked down at you. You were always beautiful but right now you looked like an angel. Especially in the white dress you were wearing.. Never in his life had he met someone so perfect, there can't be someone so perfect. Until you came into his life.
"I remember that first day I met you. It was our third year and you transferred to Karasuno and when you walked into my class you knocked me off my feet. The more I got to know you the more I fell. I was so nervous every time we studied together because my heart was pounding. I thought you could hear it."
He lifted your left hand so he could brush his thumb over your fingers and the engagement ring that adorned your finger.
"When I asked you to marry me it was at nationals when we won. You were waiting to congratulate us on the win and I couldn't stop myself from dropping down on one knee and asking. Everyone was surprised because we only dated for a short while but like I said. You were my one and only."
He felt hot tears spring to his eyes as he desperately tried to blink them away.
"Suga. It's time," Daichi reported, clapping a hand on his back.
"Looks like it's time for you to shine Angel," Sugawara said, his voice breaking.
Sugawara left the room you were in to take his seat in the front row in between Daichi and Asahi. Asahi gave him a comforting squeeze on his shoulder. He felt others hands on his shoulders in support. When the doors opened everyone stood up and turned to look at his beautiful girl.
He felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest as he saw you come down the aisle. He didn't pay much attention to what the priest was saying, he couldn't focus on anything except for his beloved.
It wasn't often Suga felt overwhelmed but he needed to take a break. He exited out of the room and outside to feel the cold air from the rain hit his skin. He walked to the edge of the railing and reached out his hand to let the droplets of rain fall into his hand.
"When I imagined you coming down the aisle, I didn't imagine you in a casket," Sugawara cried softly. He feels like this is one giant nightmare and that at any moment he will wake up to find you curled up into his side.
He remembers when he lost you. You and him were coming back from a date. you both had been busy at your jobs and wanted a nice evening together. Walking back to the apartment, you wanted to take an evening stroll through the park. Suga wasn't going to deny your request. You were enjoying each other's company when you both overheard an argument, and then shots rang out. Suga tried to shield you but ended up getting shot anyway. He tried his hardest to save you, but...
"Come on, Angel. Don't do this to me. Fight to stay alive, baby, please," Sugawara pleaded as he used his coat to try and stop the bleeding.
"Koushi. I'm not going to make it. Even if you can get me to a hospital it's slim chance to none I won't be able to pull through," you said softly.
"No, don't talk like that. That's negative talk. You just need to hold out a little longer."
You smiled up at him, reaching out to touch his cheek, "I know it is but it's the truth. And the truth always hurts. I don't feel pain anymore and I feel cold. Both are bad signs."
He held your hand that cradled his cheek and stroked your head with the other. He knew you weren't going to survive this. You were bleeding out too fast.
"I love you, my Angel," he said as he kissed your palm.
"I love you too, Koushi. Forever and always." He felt you go limp and he wailed out in agony as he just lost the love of his life.
He cried for days on end. He couldn't sleep and on nights he did get some shut eye he slept on the couch. Why would he sleep in a bed if you weren't there with him? He didn't eat very much and took very little care of himself.
When the team heard the news they were quick to move. Daichi and Asahi moved into his home to take care of him while everyone else took care of the funeral plans, only bothering Suga for his input on colors and style choices.
Everyone asked for time off from their jobs to be in support of their former teammate. Suga always supported everyone else and now it was time for them to return the favor.
Sugawara looked up towards the sky and saw the clouds part to let sunshine through. He saw a rainbow cast across the sky. He chuckled to himself and shook his head. He turned to walk back inside to join his friends.
A few hours later and everyone had left. Now just stood Suga with you in an empty room. He walked towards your casket and silently prayed before standing to look at you again.
"You were right about the rain. I never knew why you liked it so much. You always talked about going overseas to a state where it rained ninety percent of the time. Now I think I understand. 'You can't have a rainbow without a little rain.' Even though you're gone you still manage to make me feel better. I miss you everyday. I wish I could hold you one last time. I will always love you, Angel. Forever and always."
Suga leaned down and pressed his lips against your forehead. He put his forehead to yours and let out a breath. He knew things wouldn't go back to normal, and it was going to be rough without you, but this too shall pass, and he knows that if he keeps you in his heart, he can make it through.
Rainy Days
"The rain was always your favorite. You always loved listening to it patter against the rooftops. Remember when we would sit out on the porch and just listen to the rain. You loved the smell of the rain too. You opened all the windows in the house and it would always smell like fresh air and clean laundry," Sugawara said, stroking your cheek.
He smiled as he looked down at you. You were always beautiful but right now you looked like an angel. Especially in the white dress you were wearing.. Never in his life had he met someone so perfect, there can't be someone so perfect. Until you came into his life.
"I remember that first day I met you. It was our third year and you transferred to Karasuno and when you walked into my class you knocked me off my feet. The more I got to know you the more I fell. I was so nervous every time we studied together because my heart was pounding. I thought you could hear it."
He lifted your left hand so he could brush his thumb over your fingers and the engagement ring that adorned your finger.
"When I asked you to marry me it was at nationals when we won. You were waiting to congratulate us on the win and I couldn't stop myself from dropping down on one knee and asking. Everyone was surprised because we only dated for a short while but like I said. You were my one and only."
He felt hot tears spring to his eyes as he desperately tried to blink them away.
"Suga. It's time," Daichi reported, clapping a hand on his back.
"Looks like it's time for you to shine Angel," Sugawara said, his voice breaking.
Sugawara left the room you were in to take his seat in the front row in between Daichi and Asahi. Asahi gave him a comforting squeeze on his shoulder. He felt others hands on his shoulders in support. When the doors opened everyone stood up and turned to look at his beautiful girl.
He felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest as he saw you come down the aisle. He didn't pay much attention to what the priest was saying, he couldn't focus on anything except for his beloved.
It wasn't often Suga felt overwhelmed but he needed to take a break. He exited out of the room and outside to feel the cold air from the rain hit his skin. He walked to the edge of the railing and reached out his hand to let the droplets of rain fall into his hand.
"When I imagined you coming down the aisle, I didn't imagine you in a casket," Sugawara cried softly. He feels like this is one giant nightmare and that at any moment he will wake up to find you curled up into his side.
He remembers when he lost you. You and him were coming back from a date. you both had been busy at your jobs and wanted a nice evening together. Walking back to the apartment you wanted to take an evening stroll through the park. Suga wasn't going to deny your request. You were enjoying each other's company when you both overheard an argument and then shots rang out. Suga tried to shield you but ended up getting shot. He tried his hardest to save you but died in his arms.
"Come on, Angel. Don't do this to me. Fight to stay alive, baby, please," Sugawara pleaded as he used his coat to try and stop the bleeding.
"Koushi. I'm not going to make it. Even if you can get me to a hospital it's slim chance to none I won't be able to pull through," you said softly.
"No, don't talk like that. That's negative talk. You just need to hold out a little longer."
You smiled up at him, reaching out to touch his cheek, "I know it is but it's the truth. And the truth always hurts. I don't feel pain anymore and I feel cold. Both are bad signs."
He held your hand that cradled his cheek and stroked your head with the other. He knew you weren't going to survive this. You were bleeding out too fast.
"I love you, my Angel," he said as he kissed your palm.
"I love you too, Koushi. Forever and always." He felt you go limp and he wailed out in agony as he just lost the love of his life.
He cried for days on end. He couldn't sleep and on nights he did get some shut eye he slept on the couch. Why would he sleep in a bed if you weren't there with him? He didn't eat very much and took very little care of himself.
When the team heard the news they were quick to move. Daichi and Asahi moved into his home to take care of him while everyone else took care of the funeral plans, only bothering Suga for his input on colors and style choices.
Everyone asked for time off from their jobs to be in support of their former teammate. Suga always supported everyone else and now it was time for them to return the favor.
Sugawara looked up towards the sky and saw the clouds part to let sunshine through. He saw a rainbow cast across the sky. He chuckled to himself and shook his head. He turned to walk back inside to join his friends.
A few hours later and everyone had left. Now just stood Suga with you in an empty room. He walked towards your casket and silently prayed before standing to look at you again.
"You were right about the rain. I never knew why you liked it so much. You always talked about going overseas to a state where it rained ninety percent of the time. Now I think I understand. 'You can't have a rainbow without a little rain.' Even though you're gone you still manage to make me feel better. I miss you everyday. I wish I could hold you one last time. I will always love you, Angel. Forever and always."
Suga leaned down and pressed his lips against your forehead. He put his forehead to yours and let out a breath. He knew things wouldn't go back to normal, and it was going to be rough without you, but this too shall pass, and he knows that if he keeps you in his heart, he can make it through.
His hands.
—
It’s such a small thing, hardly noticeable. Henrik’s gaze flicks over when he hears Jackie enter his lab, rummaging through his bandages until he finds a couple to wrap around his wrists. Jackie’s knuckles are bruised and bleeding, but his expression is stoic as ever, lips a thin line as he marches back out, probably going to wrap his hands up for healing purposes. Henrik watches him leave, wondering what triggered this bout of injuries, but he doesn’t follow.
He already knows Jackie won’t answer. He turns back to his work, figuring he’ll ask later, maybe over a cup of tea.
Jackie sits down in the living room to wrap his hands. Jameson is already sitting there, turning over a piece of wood in his hands, wondering what to carve next. He flicks his gaze up hopefully, wanting to move closer to Jackie and ask him for company, but Jameson says nothing when he notices Jackie’s fingers. They’re trembling lightly while Jackie wraps his knuckles up tightly, mouthing swear words to himself as he hisses back pain. Though his expression remains stoic, Jameson can see pain in Jackie’s eyes, so he lowers his gaze and turns back to his block of wood.
Maybe he’ll carve something later, or speak with Jackie when he’s not in a bad mood. He says nothing when he hears Jackie get up and storm away.
It’s a few days later, and Chase is sitting on the edge of Jackie’s bed. He’s rambling on about a project he wants done, while Jackie is typing out and organizing notes for him. Jackie’s always been the faster typer, but Chase stops briefly when he glances down at Jackie’s keyboard. Have Jackie’s fingers always been swollen? They look redder than normal. He opens his mouth to comment, but when he sees the impatient look on Jackie’s face, he dives right back into his ramblings, hoping to forget the brief but silent exchange.
He’ll worry about it later when they aren’t both in the middle of doing important work. Right now, he needs to focus.
Later that evening, Jackie and Marvin are lounging on the couch together. Laughing over stupid jokes, knocking back cans of soda and eating various junk foods. It’s a simple evening with nothing to worry about, until Marvin takes Jackie’s hand in his own. Not to hold, but to inspect. The mood shifts from light-hearted to more somber as Marvin falls silent, tracing along the many callouses along Jackie’s fingers, the faded scars, the bruises, healing cuts, and swollen pads.
How long had Jackie’s hands been like this?
His hands had been used for so much. Marvin sees Jackie grabbing at a falling Chase to save him from heights. He can see Jackie reaching a hand out to a lonely Jameson, who’s reaching back to take that offered friendship. Jackie’s hands prying a grief-filled Henrik away from a deceased patient, to guide Henrik away and pull him in for a hug.
Jackie’s hands have reached out to nudge Marvin into continuing his magic against all other odds, when reality should have had the magician sprawling back into oblivion. Jackie’s hands had always been there to hold him upright.
To hold all of them upright when they wanted to fall.
To hold the city in one piece, even without thanks for all the work he’s done.
Reaching for the most broken down person, always with a smile on his face, always with new scars on his fingers.
His hands have always been there, always a symbol of safety.
How had Marvin not noticed before? He glances up briefly to see Jackie watching him, an expression of melancholy on his face. He doesn’t need to peek into Jackie’s mind to know what the hero is feeling.
They both already know.
Silently, Marvin conjures up a bottle of lotion and rests the bottle in his lap. He keeps hold of Jackie’s hand, spreading the fingers out wide so he can start massaging them.
Silently, the others come trickling in, with snacks of their own, but the food isn’t what they’re focused on either. Chase is taking Jackie’s other hand in his own, giving it a squeeze before mirroring Marvin’s movements.
If Jackie’s hands can do so much for them, imagine what they can all do for Jackie.
My heart broke again, thank you.
Sorry...
when I saw Tom Kane cry I felt very bad