I’m Gonna Go Cry Now - Blog Posts
DAMN IT!
I JUST HEALED FROM BOTH FANDOM’S TERRIBLE ENDINGS! DON’T MAKE ME CRY AGAIN!
Why…why was Derek Dean’d?!?! Neither one deserved it! (I know why, terrible writers that wanted to kill the main fan ship) (that or now with everything going on, the writers were probably weren’t paid enough)
The fact being that this makes Stiles his Castiel hurts too because:
We never gotten the closure that we needed and wanted from his character
He gave the person he loves a personal item of his that he cares about because he knew the other person would take care of it (until the day they die)
He wasn’t there when the love of his life sacrificed himself, but if he was, he would have stopped him/wouldn’t have wanted to end like that
He knew that they both loved each other but never gotten the chance to give a proper confession/allow the other person to confess their feelings back
…This is why fanfics are better than canon!
i know we joke that derek got castiel’d but actually he got dean’d.
got a kid that is the carbon copy of the man he loved
was never able to tell the guy he was in love with him
deeply closeted with a bunch of dead ex-girlfriends
held on to a something of his S/O that was significant to them, even though he knew/was sure the other would never come back (the jeep/the trenchcoat)
died a pointless, miserable death due to bad writing, in a post-ending add-on to his main story
disgustingly, offensive hot
Clean Slated State but it’s playing through a radio on a rainy day while you’re sat on a porch.
Heavily inspired by this youtube vid which was made first,,, I just wanted a try at it and realised a little too late
I know I haven't been posting and I'll work on it BUT! I just thought of something that's absolutely braking my heart and ya'll are gonna suffer with me!
Ya'll know how asra and the apprentice fight before the apprentice dies? So Imagine asra having enough of the apprentice not agreeing to run away so he storms out after taking his bag and Faust, and the apprentice is just still filled with anger then the shock and sadness settle in when they realise that asra really did leave and he most likely isn't coming back, so they crumble to the floor while leaning on a wall as they start to have a brake down
I'M ABOUT TO FUCKING SOB OVER HERE 😭😭😭
this came to me while listening to this slowed version of cry by cigarettes after sex
So my week is going very bad. I’m calling it my “emotionally damaged week”.
On Monday I rewatched Squid Game and was emotionally damaged by Ali and Sae-Byeok’s deaths.
Then on Tuesday I’m more than excited for the Better Call Saul’s episode and I am utterly destroyed by Nacho’s final stand. That broke me and I’m crying for the rest of the day.
But for Wednesday, I was expecting laughs from Moon Knight especially how Ep 4 finished. Then … Steven 😖.
I’m emotionally damaged and I’m only halfway through the week!😭 How can things get any worse?
Me after finishing Episode 3 of Season 6
Well, this is my mood for the rest of the year. Thanks Vince 🖕
heissjjssjsjdjsjsjdjsjjsjsnehdudiswdidisjjsididdijddjshjssjjsAHHHHHHHHHH
Terrifying
Shits about to go down
I was simply telling my younger brother that I didn’t want any Starbursts because they taste like Play-Dough. He responded with “how do you know what Play-Dough tastes like?” I just realized how old I’m getting 🫤
Am I asexual because I’m trans? Or do I just have dysphoria because I’m asexual? Or do I just hate my body?
"toxic?"
Summary; you've had a lot of exes,, not particularly good ones. What happens when you find out the one you thought was meant for you turns out to be the same?
Pairings; Toxic!Hu tao x gn!reader
Genre; heavy angst
warnings; toxicity, manipulation, some yandere themes implied, swearing, unhealthy relationships, mentions of s*x at a minor age but they don't actually do it. Mentions of cheating.
a/n; wee woo wee woo so I'm collabing w @almond-adeptus on this one!! They'll be releasing an angst based on toxic angst, just with zhongli!!
I wanna thank @shitposts-by-spookii @genshiningg @haliya-mori and @kallmelia for volunteering to be part of the cameos!! i also recommend listening to All i Want by Olivia rodrigo!
You were walking down the halls of your highschool, when you saw your friend, spooki down the halls. "Hey spooki!" She turned behind and speedran over to hug you. "Hey y/n! Are you walking to class? Wanna walk together?" You pondered for a little bit..hu tao wasn't going to be mad.. right? I mean you both have been dating for two months,,and she would let you,, right?
"sure, I'll g-" you were cut off when you felt a sudden force pull you from behind. "No thanks, we'll walk together." It was hu tao. Spooki gave you a little word of advice and left hurriedly, she didn't want to be caught up in this mess. As soon as you caught up to hu tao you exclaimed "Hu tao, she was just my friend!" Hu tao couldn't care less. "No, she wasn't." Could hu tao not even give a reason?
Whatever, you needed to get to your classes. Spooki's advice was stuck there at the back of your mind the whole day. Could it be..? How did you never think of it?
Was hu tao,,like your past exes? ...Surely not no.. you've lasted more with her than any other person..you love her and she loved you.
As soon as you came back home from school, you opened up your notepad and pen. You needed to find out.
___________________________________
Checklist for toxicity !
• boundaries?
• manipulative and controlling?
• lying?
• judgemental?
• they take it all, and don't give back?
_________________________________________________
Your hand shook as you flipped the page of the notepad to the checklist. Multiple ticks there in regard of previous exes, were you really going to do this? Spooki had been your friend for almost..forever.. you could at least do this... just incase..
'let's do this, and get this over with.' you suck in a deep breath.
_________________________________________________
Checklist for toxicity !
• boundaries?
You remembered,,about the countless times, where she's touched you..in places, you don't want to remember.
"aw, c'mon lovebug, just this once? For me?" No. You had to say no. "I-im sorry hu tao but,, I can't! We're still minors.." hu tao couldn't have looked more upset than now. But a thought arose in her mind.
'who the fuck cares about your opinion?' she went to remove your clothes, but the damn school staff. Knocking on the goddamn janitor door at the wrong-fucking-time.
_________________________________________________
You slowly checked the boundaries box.
✔︎ boundaries
Next..
_________________________________________________
Checklist for toxicity !
✔︎ boundaries
• manipulative and controlling?
You remembered your friends,,oh how you used to have so many..what happened? What happened to your friends, mori, lia, happy? You thought of what happened.
It was lunchtime, the four of you sitting at a table in the cafeteria. Hu tao said she was gonna come soon, but she wasn't there yet. As you were eating your food, someone popped out from the left of you. Hu tao! "Hey, can i borrow y/n real quick?" They nodded their heads, and you stood up. Where was she taking you? Hu tao led you to the bathroom, and closed the door.
"don't hang out with them." Why? They're such amazing and sweet friends! "Why, hu tao?" Hu tao was mad at you for asking questions.
Hu tao suddenly had the sweetest smile, and the most dazzling eyes, leaning into your ear to whisper "they talk about you behind your back, you know. They have looaadds of fun, without you, my princess. I've seen it myself. It's better to just hang out with me instead, no?" You believed her. You believed all of hu tao's words coated in the sweetest type of honey, the lie, because in the end, all you needed was her, right?
_________________________________________________
You felt a tear slip out and drip onto the checklist..just because two boxes were checked, doesn't mean she was toxic..no.. next..
✔︎ manipulative and controlling
_________________________________________________
Checklist for toxicity !
✔︎ boundaries
✔︎ manipulative and controlling
• lying?
You've always been curious,,about hu tao's words. Were they geniune? Were they just for nothing?
You remembered the multiple times, hu tao has said she was going to bed, dreaming of you. Why was she online all night then? You once confronted her about it. "Hey,,,hu tao? I uh,, I've been meaning go ask, are you cheating on me?" Hu tao's eyes widened. "Yeah? What are you gonna do 'bout it?"
"did you never love me?" Eyes tearing up, That's where her sweet talks started. 'of course i did baby! You're the only one for me...i was just kiddin'! Ya know me, right?"
You believed every word.
_________________________________________________
Slowly checking the box, you had a little hope left. Maybe, just maybe.
✔︎ lying
Next..
_________________________________________________
Checklist for toxicity !
✔︎ boundaries
✔︎ manipulative and controlling
✔︎ lying
• judgemental?
You remembered,,the times where she judged you,,for how you looked,,how you spoke..how you loved..
You were getting ready to go to a party with hu tao. You wouldn't normally, but, there's a first time for everything.. right? You just had to make sure hu tao was happy,,even if you weren't. As you grabbed your bag, you jumped when you heard hu tao. "You're seriously wearing THAT? Oh darlin' you have to change, you're gonna embarass me in front of EVERYBODY!" you didn't see anything wrong with sweatpants and a hoodie.. it's not like anybody was gonna be watching what people were wearing..
But still you did. You complied to hu tao's wishes. Because, she just wants the best for you! And she's the best for you, clearly.
_________________________________________________
You check the judgemental box. One more. You had no hope left.
✔︎ judgemental
Last one now..
_________________________________________________
Checklist for toxicity !
✔︎ boundaries
✔︎ manipulative and controlling
✔︎ lying
✔︎ judgemental
• take it all and don't give back?
You didn't realise any of it before. The way hu tao sucked you dry of your love. The way hu tao didn't even try. It was all you. The whole school knew, you didn't. Why? You were so blinded by her sweet words and batting eyelashes, you never even thought of it.
Never thought of the countless times she's denied your love, your touches. Avoided it, actually. So you see, hu tao was never the one. She was never the one who'd be your knight in shining armour.
_________________________________________________
You sadly check the last box. It happened, once again. Your eyes dulled, feeling your heart go numb. Maybe, you weren't meant for love. Better to just..give up.
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