no i'm not crying just sitting in the corner thinking of Nicky Hemmick becoming a literal fucking single parent to two teenagers who cannot even be fully described as traumatised because that word does not convey the sheer amount of hell they went through in their short lives while himself being barely an adult with laaaayers of trauma and guilt voluntarily leaving the only human with whom he ever felt safe and loved and truly happy for the uncertainty and the pain of a longe distance relationship knowing he wouldn't even get the acknowledgement for everything he sacrificed because aaron and andrew were not in the mental space for that--