The Finnish translation of The Order of The Phoenix was released in spring 2004, when I was 13 years old. I borrowed the book from a friend, and as I was reading it, I became convinced that Remus and Sirius were a couple, even though it was implied between the lines. It was the first time I saw queer representation in children/YA literature, or at least I thought so at the time (I didn’t know it was unintentional). It meant the world to me.
I expected the ending to confirm that Sirius and Remus were indeed together. Instead, Sirius was killed, and I’ve never grieved a fictional character as intensely. I returned the book to my friend without finishing the final chapter. I was too upset.
For 20 years, I have wanted Sirius and Remus to end up together and I’m incredibly grateful to all writers who have wanted that too. I’ve been in and out of the fandom, but your fanfiction always pulls me back.