Voldemort not crucio-ing severus for criticising him!!?! Lets make a new ship!
Okay so this has been my shower thought for the past couple days…what’s the Death Eater initiation process like?? And why do I keep imagining it like some kind of bad PTA meeting?
I mean surely you don’t have to go hunt down Voldy himself to ask to join, so I can only imagine it’s more of a secret club type thing. Somebody pulls you aside and super casually goes “so we get together like twice a month, usually on a Saturday but sometimes during the week, it’s whenever the Dark Lord decides really. It’s mostly at the Malfoy Manor but one time we got summoned to some random graveyard a couple years back?? Now THAT was a meeting for the ages, lemme tell ya…bloody hell. Thirteen years we don’t meet and then within the first two minutes he has the nerve to chew us all out for being disloyal or some shit like that! Crazy. ANYWAY…it really just depends, ya know, where and when we get summoned, so make sure you have your Death Eater attire ready cause Voldy really hates it when you show up in street clothes, and “it’s in the wash” isn’t a good enough excuse, believe me. It’s always potluck style for dinner, so A-M bring a side dish, N-Z bring a dessert…Severus Snape’s allergic to tomatoes so might wanna avoid those. Oh, and here’s the best part!! If you join, you get this wicked tattoo!”
Which brings me to my next thought…is Voldy an amateur tattoo artist and does the Dark Mark tattoos himself? If so, I gotta think that his drawing has gotten better over the years from the first time he tattooed one of his followers.
Voldemort: *tattooing Lucius’ arm* Alright, you’re done!
Lucius: What…is it supposed to be?
Bellatrix: It’s clearly a snake, Lucius!
Narcissa: *pointing* Yeah, but what’s that odd shaped lump above it??
Voldemort: It’s a skull!
Snape: *looking over Lucius’ shoulder, bored AF* Looks like a severed head with its tongue out to me—
Voldemort: OH FUCK OFF SEVERUS
OR…if Voldemort doesn’t give the tattoos himself, then where do they get them? Is Voldy all *claps hands* “Okay, you’re IN! Once we get done with all this paperwork of you swearing your allegiance to me, yada yada….you’re gonna go to this tattoo shop in Knockturn Alley and ask for the Dark Lord Special. Severus said my drawing was shit so I’ve decided to have someone else do the tattoos…” *side eyes Snape*
New Death Eaters showing up to the shop and the tattoo artist being all like “…Dark Lord Special, huh? I’ll throw in a Nagini tattoo around your bicep for an extra 10 galleons, whaddya say?”