YOU KNOW THE DRILL MOTHERFUCKERS ITS @kingmakerpod KINGMAKER NATTTTTTT(ion) TIME...... How do I type out "Kingmaker Nat". If I was saying it verbally it'd be like "Kingmaker Naysh". Kingmaker Nat just sounds like Im saying Kingmaker Gnat (which, I suppose applies in this particular instance, because the trio are the size of gnats...... somewhat)..... BUT I DIGRESS. SPOILERS FOR THE KINGMAKER HISTORIES EP29 BELOW – THIS ONE ENTERS INTO MY ALLTIME FAV EPISODE SLOTS
“Telesphore tried to kill me once and all” “(sighs fondly) I did.” I love gay people
The sound design in every ep is rlly fantastic but this one particularly has my head in a grip for some reason….. In a very tight skull clench… So so good. Like for example the beard itching & the unfolding of blueprints, ITS SO IMMERSIVE – & off-topic but on topic, I missed these 3 dipshits. I love the juxt between the last ep (being so gravely serious and frightening) and this one (which primarily follows the main 3’s schemes once more)…. Kingmaker never misses….. (Unlike a certain ice mage from the last episode)……
SHORTSTACK EISEN!!!!!!!!!! (& TINY TELESPHORE. “TELESTWO. TELESTHREE.”)
“EISEN: Oh, aye, absolutely. I’ve made three prototypes from this design, and I’ve never had a single fatality…. I mean, of course, I’ve never tested it on a living subject either. | COLETTE AND TELESPHORE: WHAT? | EISEN: Brace yourselves!” THE TRIO IS SO QUIPY IN THIS EP… AGAIN THE VOICE ACTING GOES FUCKING METAL. Also “At last, Telsie, my love, we can see… eye to eye.” “I hate this.” The back-and-forths between all the charas are fucking brilliant. I love how this ep is paced dialogue-wise so soo dearly
Piggybacking off the last bulletpoint – ITS NOT JUST THE TRIO, ITS EVERYONE. IT’S EVERYONE WHO’S QUIPY & GIVING SUPREME PERFORMANCES (what’s new) BUT FOR REAL!!!!! Oh my god this ep is hitting so fucking hard I love these charas so much. The dialogue is great and the performances take it to the next level. They live and breathe…. they live & breathe…… As always Addison is killing it as my fav murder matriarch….. and Ben Rowe as Crowley. I love how hes got a magical Jack Horner-esque collection of freaky items. Is somebody gonna match my freak Is Is somebody gonna match my freak (Ariadne + Aleister, initials carved not on a tree but into someone’s corpse)
THE BONEDRINKER SHREWS 👹
“Did you drop this (paper) in a glass of water? Why does it look like that?” “A woman should be entitled to a few secrets” I wouldn’t be telling people about my naked paper eating pre-rat transformation habits either (only true kingmaker fans will understand this sentence). Good call girl
“Of course, god forbid a woman do anything without being called mad in those days.” “So she was sane?” “Oh no. Ha! No, not at all.” AMAZING DELIVERY BY ADDISON.
I love these two horrifically-evil-bodytwisting people flirting it up and then, from them, immediately shifting to a scene of three teensy people running from bonedrinking shrews & quipping abt how tiny they are. Oh how I love you kingmaker so so much. I need to make a sticker that says “Only In Kingmaker”, and when people ask, “What’s Only In Kingmaker. What do you mean”, I will tell them “You just have to listen. You just have to listen to it to be in-the-know… in on the lore….. the Teleslore....."
Stop me from saying this every 2 sentences (I WILL NEVER STOP!!!!!!) but this episode and specifically the performances are SUPREME!!!!!! Holy fuck EVERY EP BUILDS ON EACH OTHER, IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER & BETTER. Everyone is embodying their characters on such a supreme level Oh my god. They’ve always been so genuine but u can tell everyone has just clicked into their roles like a snug glove. And this ep specifically is SO FUN, like a condensed adventure movie in the style of like….. Jumanji or the-like – I know that’s an odd comparison but I hope u readers understand what I mean; it’s so visual….. I can see it. & I LOVE the trio hearing Crowley and Ariadne thru the walls. And lastly (I’ll stop dumping paragraphs soon, IM SORRY IM JUST SO EXCITED BY THIS EP) but I think the og charas in this (i.e. the main trio & even Ariadne) are hitting so much harder because last EP was so geniusly written as to NOT HAVE THEM IN IT. Is genuisly a word. Fuck you I dont care AND despite being so much lighter than the last ep tone-wise, the story still fucking flows so well.... it doesn’t feel like it’s grinding to a halt just to engage in hijinks again AT ALL. SUPREME BALANCE. I love kingmaker so much Im going to explode into shrapnel for the 10000th TIME!!!
Colette’s “NO, EW, PUT IT BACK ON!!!!!” and Telesphore’s “Do you think if I jumped off this bookcase it would kill me” during the sex scene where Ariadne LITERALLY FUCKING STEALS CROWLEY’S HEART MADE ME LAUGH ALOUD “OUT OF ALL THE ROOMS THEY COULD’VE DONE THIS IN, UNBELIEVABLE MAN” EISEN’S REACTION IMFUCKIGN CRYING
THE TRANSCRIPT’S DIRECTION OF ARIADNE “(shaping out of the dom headspace)” HELPPP CROWLEY’S DELIVERY ON “STOP IT IM BEING SERIOUS” TOO. OK IMDONE I AM PHYSICALLY FUCKING LAUGHING ALOUD
“Were we just robbed by mice?” “No. Socialists” CALLBACK TO MY FAV LINE “Worse. Royalists”
ANTICHRISTMAS
GORILLA ARIADNE
THIS IS MY FAVORITE EPISODE EVER I SEE TINY LITTLE MINI PEOPLE AND I LOSE MY SHIT. THIS CHASE SCENE IS INCREDIBLE FROM THE WRITING TO PRODUCTION TO EVERYTHING INBETWEEN
27:58 THE SCOTTISH MUSIC SWELL HAD ME LOSING MY FUCKING SHIT W/ EISEN. FUCK OFFFFFF BEST FUCKING EPISODE CLIMAX EVER. THE MUSIC & THE SFX HAVE ME GRIPPING MY SKULL
I need a whimsical bonedrinker shrew pet NOW!!!!
“Who were those tiny people, and follow up question, are forearms supposed to bend in this direction” THE DELIVERIES IN THIS EP ARE OFF THE CHARTS and Colette’s little “Ohh fancy!” too, so cute
Gonna start referring to the Titanic as the Gigantic and when people ask me where I got that from, I’m just gonna say “Eisen”. Hold on Wait a minute Are you fucking telling me Eisen caused the FUCKING TITANIC
I LOOOOVE LOVE LOOOOVE ARIADNEY AND CROWLEY AS A DUO – this last scene rocks, but WHAT. THE. FUCK. CHORONZON IS FUCKING LIZ!?!?!?!?! I DIDNT EVEN RECOGNIZE HER HOLYFUCKING SHIT LIZ!??!?! LIZ!??!?!?!?!?!??! THIS IS THE COOLEST VOICE I THINK IVE HEARD IN ANYTHING *EVER* FUCK OFF. FUCK RIGHT OFF I LOVE YOU LIZ. I AM UR BIGGEST FAN LIZ.
FUCK OFFFFFFFFFF ANOTHER KINGMAKER EPIC EPISODE IMGONNA SHIT EXPLODE AND DIE 10000 TIMES AND THEN RESURRECT AND DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. FUCKOFF