What anxiety meds do you think Finn is on? That boy had got to be on something to be so well adjusted all things considered lmao
I definitely think that, after three concussions, Finn might need some help. They do permanently alter your brain chemistry, and can expedite mental health conditions, which I say as someone who did have multiple concussions and then was diagnosed with anxiety! Meds and therapy really help, but it can still be kind of confusing to develop anxiety as you get older (or, at least have it manifest more prominently in adulthood) instead of being diagnosed with it at an earlier age (because it can also be hereditary). So, this was a fun look into Fish's brain!
If you don't headcanon him with anxiety, that's okay! It's not obligatory to headcanon characters with ADHD, anxiety, OCD, etc., (and, in fact, doing that too often or to every single one can be harmful to the actual effects/perception of them in society), HOWEVER, those with those mental health conditions sometimes do it because they see themselves in the character and heavily relate, which is fine, too!
Credits to @lumosinlove
“Finn, honey, you’ve gotta take them.”
Finn didn’t answer, just crossed his arms on the counter and rested his chin on them. The orange bottle stared back at him. He tried to read the words on its white label, but they didn’t make any sense to him. Just a bunch of scientific words that he’d never understand.
A hand settled itself on his upper back. “Sweetheart,” Leo said gently. “Sweetheart, do you want to try later?”
Finn sighed. “No, thank you. I need to do this.”
“Baby.” Leo sat down on the stool beside him. He tilted his head to rest against Finn’s. “You know I love you?”
“Mhm.”
“And that I want you to do what’s best for you always?”
“Yeah.”
A worried, sad sigh. “Finn.”
Finn dropped his head back as his eyes felt hot. “Le…”
“Okay.” Leo let Finn slump into him, wrapping him up tightly as the first hitching breath escaped Finn’s mouth. “Okay, sweetheart, I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”
“Leo.”
“Sh, Finn. Look at me.” Leo held Finn’s face firmly in his hands. Finn wasn’t crying, but he looked distraught. Leo smiled. “Hey, baby, hi. Hi, beautiful.” He pressed a hard kiss to Finn’s forehead. “It’s okay, sweetheart, I’ve got you.”
“I don’t know what wrong-”
“Nothing’s wrong. Hey.” Leo gripped Finn’s jaw when he tried to look away. Blue eyes burned back into Finn’s own, and he felt safe and grounded and also like he was falling. Leo kissed his forehead again. “Hey, I love you. And this is going to help you, okay? The doctor said it would.”
“But I don’t have anxiety, peanut. Or, like, it’s not been- I didn’t when I was a kid.” Leo nodded along, even though he’d heard all this many times. “I just- I don’t know, I’m an adult, Le, and this is hard.”
“I know, baby, I know.” Leo pulled him into a hug, squeezing him just like he liked. “But just because you didn’t need it when you were a kid doesn’t mean you don’t need it now, okay? And it’s not forever, baby, it’s until you feel like it doesn’t help you anymore, or like you don’t need it.”
Finn nodded against Leo’s shoulder. He could vividly see the day the doctor had told him anxiety medication might be a way to help. He had been on edge for months, with trouble sleeping and chest pains, and finally Leo had put his foot down and taken him to the doctor. His anxiety had developed, a therapist had explained to him; from what he and Logan went through in college, to dancing around both Leo and Logan before they were together, to being long-distance, to getting a third concussion. The therapist explained that the concussion could have triggered it more extremely, as a “response to multiple traumatic brain injuries”. Finn had never thought of a concussion as a traumatic brain injury before. To him, it was an associated risk to his profession. If he had known, he wondered if he’d have been more careful.
“Finn,” Leo whispered. “Want me to call Lo?” At Finn’s eager nod against his shoulder, Leo moved to reach into his back pocket. “Okay, let’s sit up, baby.”
When they were sitting up straighter, Finn slouched just slightly to rest his head on Leo’s shoulder, Leo set his phone against the ceramic salt container and clicked on Logan’s contact. Almost immediately, Finn got a full view of Logan’s gorgeous green eyes and soft smile. It quickly faded, though, when he saw Finn’s face. “What’s wrong?” he asked, in lieu of hello.
“Hi, sweetheart,” Leo whispered. Finn felt grateful- he didn’t think he could handle talking at full volume. “We’re just having a little trouble taking our meds.”
Logan’s concerned face turned soft, eyes roving over Finn. “Mon rouge. What’s going on, mon amour?”
Finn sighed. “Don’t know. Just really don’t wanna take them. It’s all new.”
“Ouais,” Logan nodded. He looked contemplative for a second, then smiled. “You want to know what helps me do something new?”
Finn perked up. “What?”
“You.” Logan let out a laugh at Finn’s confused face. “Non, it’s true. You and Le help me do new things.”
“Baby,” Finn said. “I really appreciate the help, but I don’t understand…”
“Remember my first presentation I did at Harvard? In my American History class?” At Finn’s nod, he continued. “You let me practice for hours in our room. You sat on your bed and let me make mistakes, and you smiled at me, and you gave me a high five before I went in, and you were there waiting for me after class.” He bit his lip around his grin. “I don’t even know what I said, or what my classmates looked like. All I saw was your face and all I thought about was how proud you were of me.”
Finn nuzzled his way further into Leo’s side. “I was proud of you.”
Leo squeezed his hip and ducked to talk in his ear. “Do you remember the first time you came to New Orleans, the day after I told you about Jack? When we had to go to the bait shop near his house?”
Despite himself, Finn smiled against the skin of Leo’s neck. “You were so nervous.”
“Well, I didn’t want to run into him. We used to go there a lot.” He kissed Finn’s cheek. “And you drove, because I was too nervous, and you parked in a shaded spot a few blocks away. Then you and Logan talked to me, and you kissed me, and you waited in the car while Logan and I went together. And even though we didn’t see him, I didn’t relax until I was back in the Jeep, but I still did it because you were there waiting to tell me how proud of me you were.” Leo nudged Finn’s cheek with his nose until Finn lifted his head and met his mouth in a kiss. “Let us be here for you, honey. We’re so proud of you.”
Finn looked up at him. “Yeah?”
“Of course, Finn.” Leo was smiling, but his eyebrows were furrowed in confusion. “Did you think we wouldn’t be?”
Finn shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Rouge,” Logan said. “We want you to get help, mon coeur. You’re brave to ask for help.”
“Yeah, sweetheart, you tell me the same thing all the time.”
Finn nodded. “Okay.” A deep breath. “Okay, okay.” He held out his hand, palm up. “Hit me, sunshine.”
Leo laughed, but popped open the container and shook a pill into Finn’s right hand, placing a water glass in his left. “On three, honey. One, two…”
Finn chucked the pill into his mouth, immediately following it with water so he didn’t feel it for too long in the back of his throat. He drank until the glass was empty, just to be safe, then slammed it down like he would a shot glass at the bar. “Done,” he said, wiping his mouth.
“Allez,” Logan said. He was smiling widely. “Allez, mon rouge.”
“Well done baby.” Leo wrapped Finn up again and placed hard, happy kisses all over his face. “So proud of you.”
“Thank you,” Finn said. He gasped out a laugh at Leo’s playful pinch to his waist, which let his mouth free for Leo to claim in a deep kiss. He melted a bit, the laughter fading, but he felt happy and content in Leo’s arms, with Logan’s voice ringing through his ears. He broke away from Leo with another soft peck to his mouth. “Thank you, I love you. I love you both so much.”
“Mm, ouais, love you, too.” Logan was looking at them fondly. “You should kiss again.”
“Oh yeah?” Leo looped his ankles around Finn’s stools to draw him closer. “You want a show?”
“Oui, I do.”
Leo turned that mischievous grin on Finn. “C’mere, O’Hara, grumpy wants to watch us get it on.”
“Non, I didn’t say that!”
Finn raised his eyebrows at the telephone screen, breath hitching when he felt Leo’s lips on his neck. “No?”
Logan looked a little confused and very wanting. “Mais, well, je- I-”
But he cut himself off as Leo kissed Finn on the mouth again. Finn knew he was putting on a show for Logan, his movements much more pointed and dramatic than they normally were. Finn also knew that Leo knew that he knew, because the smile and wink he gave Finn after was nothing short of sly and playful. Finn smiled back and kissed him again. He heard the sound of clicking on the other side of the screen. “Got your screenshot, ten?”
“Oui.” Logan sounded proud. “Oui, I did.”
“Mm, good,” Finn mumbled against Leo’s mouth. He pulled away with one more kiss and rested their foreheads together. “Love you.”
“Love you, sweetheart.” Leo kissed his cheek once more, then slapped his thighs and stood up. “Okay. Who wants supper?”
Logan groaned. “Me, allez, I miss your cooking so much.”
Leo grinned. “One more week, then we see you in the Big Apple, honey. I’ll send you an ingredients list to buy before we get there.”
Logan just made another satisfied noise. “Ouais, yes.”
Leo rolled his eyes fondly and took out a knife and a cutting board. Finn watched his tongue poke out in concentration and the curls that fell over his forehead. He was beautiful, objectively- Finn wasn’t unaware of that. But, he was even more beautiful because he was Finn’s.
“Finn, ça va?”
Finn jerked and looked at Logan, who was staring at him a little warily. He, too, was gorgeous. Always had been. He drew eyes wherever they went, and Finn felt like he carried this dirty little secret around that Logan was off the market. It filled him with fire and warmed him all over. “Yeah, baby. All good.” He looked between the two of them. “Just thinking about how gorgeous you are.”
Leo smiled and leaned over to kiss Finn’s forehead. Finn preened at the gesture, smiling satisfactorily, and settled back to relax on the stool. He saw Logan still looking at him with concern, and he rolled his eyes. “Hey, Trelembalaylay.”
Logan looked kind of exasperated, but mostly fond. “Yes?”
“I was thinking of getting your name tattooed across my forehead, what do you think?”
Logan hung his head back, but he was grinning. “You’re trouble.”
“Only yours, babe,” Finn said with a wink. “Now, lay it on me. How you feeling about the Habs tomorrow?”
Finn and Leo listened as Logan went on about zone time and save percentage, about power plays and penalty kills, contributing every now and then with their own thoughts. The kitchen soon carried the aroma of Leo’s chicken soup and the focaccia he’d been prepping that afternoon, and Finn closed his eyes to breathe in the scent. It smelled like home and felt like warmth, and Finn was so in love it filled him up head to toe. Anxiety was hard, and it was stressful, and he was navigating something new, but he knew this feeling would never change. In fact, he hoped it would last a lifetime.
And so when he opened his eyes and gazed at their smiles, suddenly taking a little pill once a day didn’t seem so daunting.