Even If He Gets Upset He Gets Sad Thinking They Think He's Mad When Really Feelings Are TOO BIG Sometimes And He Just Needs A HUG From Them - Blog Posts

Harvard era finnlo plz👀 gotta love angst w/ baby finnlo love and sweetness

*Sighs*

Once again, I cannot write unresolved angst. It's just too painful, and I don't like to hurt myself that much. HOWEVER, this piece does STAY a little angsty because Leo is a *kinda hurt* ray of sunshine in NOLA after the playoffs, BUT FinnLo miss him SOSOSO much!

Please keep sending in prompts if you'd like! I'm almost done writing all the ones I've got. :)

Credits to @lumosinlove :)

Logan didn’t know how to be mad at Finn. That’s what he’d discovered after their first fight. 

Finn had promised to help him with his English reading, but then he’d had to meet up with his French Literature group for a project at the last minute because their professor had moved the due date up. With Samyra. Logan liked Samyra. She was nice, funny, smart, beautiful- and obviously got along with Finn. Logan wouldn’t be surprised if he asked her out. And Logan really should have been happy about that, should have been understanding about the fact that Finn really did have a good excuse to miss their study session. But it was Finn. He drove Logan crazy, he made Logan laugh, he made Logan lose every single bit of rationale he was holding in. 

And he was also supposed to help Logan study for his English midterm. 

Logan really regretted yelling. Irritation was justified, even if it wasn’t Finn’s fault. Feelings were justified, as Aubrey loved to remind him when he was little and got hot-headed, but the actions one took afterwards sometimes weren’t. And yelling at Finn, who had been trying to be reasonable even if he was confused, definitely wasn’t justified. Logan had slammed the door so hard after him a book had fallen from Finn’s shelf. Pride and Prejudice. Logan almost cried at the memory of him and Finn watching the movie the day Logan had turned in his essay on it. 

Now, Logan was still sitting at his desk, trying to make sense of the essay prompts they were given for Romeo and Juliet. Logan had read it in high school, but in French, and never with the level of analysis his professor required. He let out a frustrated grunt and threw his pencil down. He looked at his phone. 5:30.

The dining hall would be getting busy soon. He should have gone before all the good options were gone, but he never went alone. He and Finn always went together, even if they were coming from different places or left to meet up with different people after eating. It was Logan’s favorite part of the day: Finn’s undivided attention, Finn’s laugh, the way Finn always gave him half of his dessert. Logan let out a shaky breath and covered his face with his hands. 

After a moment, he heard a thump outside of their door and then the sound of the knob being turned. Finn walked through, humming to whatever was playing through his AirPods. He stopped when he saw Logan, looking him up and down, before taking his headphones out. The silence that stretched between him removing them from his ears and their case clicking shut seemed like an eternity. 

Finally, he looked Logan in the eye. “Hey, Lo. I-”

“I’m sorry,” Logan interrupted, standing abruptly. They weren’t eye to eye, so Finn had to look down, and even though the difference wasn’t much, Logan still felt incredibly small. Finn’s gaze was a little curious, a little shocked, a little hurt. Logan hated hurting Finn. “I’m sorry,” he said again. His accent sounded thick. “I’m so sorry, I should not have yelled at you. That was not fair.” 

Finn’s shoulder relaxed, the hurt fading into something Logan didn’t understand, but all that mattered was that Finn was looking at him. “Hey, no, it’s okay. You’re stressed.”

“No,” Logan shook his head. “Non, non, it’s never okay to yell at you like that. I-” He stopped. English was hard for him. He tried to think of what Aubrey would tell him to do. 

Breathe. Breathe, Logan, it’s okay to feel things. It’s okay to apologize, too. 

Logan took a deep breath. “I am sorry. I am stressed, and I was frustrated, but I should not have yelled at you.” He averted his gaze and looked down at his sneakers. He could make out where Finn had signed his name on the top of his foot with a smiley face. It made his breath catch all over again. “I don’t want you to be mad at me.”

“What? Wait, no, Logan-” Finn cut himself off to grab Logan’s shoulders, ducking down to meet his eyes. “No, God, I’m not mad at you. I can’t- I can’t be mad at you.”

Logan jerked his head up. “What?” That sounded too close to-

“You’re my best friend. I can’t be mad at you.” Finn jostled him lightly. “You’re my best friend, okay? Forever. You don’t have a choice.”

“Oh.” The news wasn’t new to Logan, but for some reason he still felt surprised. “You’re my best friend, too.”

“Good. C’mere.” 

Finn wrapped him in a hug. His arms were strong and his chest was solid. Logan knew his hands were too low on Finn’s back, clutching at his waist. Normal friends didn’t hug like that. But Finn and Logan did. Logan was confused and scared, but he was mostly warm and safe. Finn’s arms were safe. Even if Logan didn’t know anything else, he certainly knew that.

“Okay,” Finn said, giving Logan one more squeeze before leaning back. They were a little further apart now, but they didn’t completely remove their arms from around each other. Finn smiled down at him. “Pack your stuff. Let’s go get dinner and go to the library. I’ll help you with your English essay, ‘kay?”

“D’accord,” Logan said, pulling away from Finn’s warmth to pack his things. A thought popped into his head, and he felt a pang in his stomach as he asked, “Did you ask Samyra out?”

Finn blinked. “Uh, no? She’s got a girlfriend. We’re just friends.” He cocked his head. “Why?”

“Oh, uh…” Logan shrugged. “Seemed nice, that’s all. Thought you might like her.”

Finn smiled slightly and shook his head. “No. No.” He bit his lip and looked Logan up and down. “No, I’m all set for now, actually.” He jerked his head towards the door. “C’mon, the dining hall will be busy soon, and I want to get the chocolate pudding before it’s gone.”

“You mean you want to get it and give it to me, don’t you?”

Finn shoved him out the door. “Maybe with other desserts, but not with chocolate pudding. Let’s go, Tremblay, you’ve got an essay to write and I’m starving.”

Logan laughed and walked with Finn down the stairs and out of the house. In the sunshine, with Finn as his company, he felt a little lighter.

***

“Fuck me, this steak is good.”

Logan smiled against the rim of his wine glass. Across the table, Finn had his cutlery poised and his mouth closed, slowly chewing his bite of New York strip. After a moment, he hummed in appreciation and opened his eyes. He smiled at Logan around his food. “What?”

Logan swallowed his wine and set the glass down. “You’re cute.”

That made Finn’s eyes sparkle. “You flirting with me, ten?”

Logan looked from his eyes, to his lips, to his capable hands, then back up to his face, where his cheeks were now flushing slightly. “Maybe.”

Finn put the utensils down and squeezed Logan’s ankle between his own two feet. “Stop that, I’ll never eat my steak if you keep looking at me like that. And it’s good steak.”

“Ouais, it is,” Logan sighed, picking up his own fork and knife and cutting into his piece of meat. “Le would like this place.”

“Mm.” Finn finished another bite. “Well, we can take him. When he gets back from New Orleans.”

“Ouais.” Logan worried the inside of his cheek. “Fish?”

At Logan’s tone, Finn looked up from his plate. “Yeah?”

Logan let out a nervous breath. “Do you think Leo’s mad at me?”

Finn studied him for a moment. The dim restaurant lights made his eyes look warm. Or, maybe, that’s just how they looked when they saw Logan. “No, baby. He’s not mad.”

Logan nodded minutely. “Ouais. Non, ouais, you’re right, I’m sorry. That was silly.”

“Hey, hey,” Finn said, taking both of Logan’s hands in his own and squeezing his fingers. He was leaning across the table a bit now, as if to keep their conversation private. “He’s not mad at you. Mad that we lost in the playoffs? Yes. Mad that he was in goal? Yes. Mad that it was you who scored on him? Yes. But he’s not mad at you, baby.” Finn paused for a minute, scrunching his eyes in thought. “I don’t even think he’s mad, more frustrated, because he could never be mad at you. And he's hurt. Hurt that we ended up in that situation and that we were forced to face each other like that. Hurt that he did, that he had to face some things he really didn’t want to.”

Logan let out an angry breath. “Jack.”

Finn kissed his fingers. “Yes. Jack, but not just him. Le felt so separate there, for a minute, you know? When I got my concussion. And you talked it out, and it’s fine now, but it did happen. And so he was frustrated at himself, and Jack, and the playoffs, and-” Finn looked conflicted for a second.

“What?” Logan pressed. “What, rouge?”

When Finn’s eyes looked into his, they were almost a little sad, but he smiled anyway. “I think that, the longer we’re dating, and the more he learns about the two of us at Harvard… I don’t know, he just gets more frustrated with the fact that he wasn’t there? Not like, sad, but- selfish, I guess, for the years he didn’t know us. Not that he could have, obviously, and we’re together forever, there’s no stopping that.” Finn smiled when Logan let out a light laugh. He shrugged. “I think he just wants to have been there with us. It probably would have been messy, I know, but- I don’t know, even I’m selfish for that lost time with him, I guess. With both of you. It would have meant more time with him, if he was there with us.”

Logan nodded. “Ouais. Ouais, I would have liked him there, too.” He brought Finn’s hands up to his own mouth, now, and kissed them gently. “But I also like him here.” He brushed a hand through Finn’s hair. “He helped me be okay with loving you both. With loving myself. And I don’t think I would have felt that way in college, even if he was there. I had a lot to learn.” He grinned softly. “I also cannot be mad at him. Or you. Never could.”

Finn laughed. “Yeah, me neither. And yeah, you did. We both did.” He cupped Logan’s cheek and kissed him gently. “I love you.” 

Logan smiled against his mouth and kissed him again. “I love you, too.” 

When he sat back and picked up his utensils again, he spared a glance at Finn. It was different than sitting across from him in the Harvard dining hall. He was still Finn. He made Logan laugh like he did back then, but it was also more now. He kissed Logan, he held Logan, he gave Logan pleasure so deep and heady, let Logan give him pleasure until they were shaking with it. He loved Logan. He loved Leo. He kissed Leo, held Leo, made love to Leo. Logan loved seeing him love Leo. He loved seeing Leo love Finn. He loved both of his boys receiving the love they so deserved, that he wanted them to have. He loved how gently they treated each other and him. He couldn’t ask for anything more, didn’t want to. He had everything he’d ever wanted, and even more than he’d ever thought to look for in the first place.

“You okay?” Finn asked, breaking him out of his reverie.

Logan smiled at him. “Ouais.” He pressed their ankles more insistently together. “I love sitting across from you at dinner.”

Finn tilted his head questioningly at him for a moment. Logan watched the moment he understood and felt something warm settle in his chest. Finn reached across and playfully pushed at his cheek. “Fuck, ten, don’t say things like that, or we’re going to be out of here real fast. And I am enjoying this steak.”

“Oui,” Logan agreed. “It’s good steak.” He took a bite and considered for a moment. “But not as good as Leo’s”

“Ain’t that the truth. C’mon, eat up, you need all the protein you can get for those big muscles of yours. Then we can go home and call sunshine.”

Logan rolled his eyes playfully but obeyed, and poised his fork and knife.