I think @ some point I got used 2 the feeling that this life was never real, I think that point was relatively early as well.
I have vivid memory of sitting in the car on the way 2 school when I was very young, and thinking that my life must be some sort of entertainment 4 giants, that someone out there was watching me on a small television on their kitchen table, and that their lives must be very long 4 them 2 find my entire life just entertainment.
I feel my life though music, my day-2-day life feels like 1 of the warrior cats maps I used 2 love when I was younger, I move though my life as though it were set 2 that soundtrack, this has been my life 4 as long as I can remember.
I've talked 2 myself 4 as long as I can remember, in my head when I was younger, out loud as I've gotten older, I got used 2 the feeling that I was being watched, I explain my actions as if someone is gazing over my shoulder and judging me, I need 2 explain every little detail over and over again.
It brings me comfort @ times, it is also terrifying.