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Created With Permission From @redwooding - Blog Posts

god-made-it
10 months ago

All the "Austen novels explained badly" Tabloid Covers

Most of the original text is from this post by @redwooding

Re-did the Pride & Prejudice one to look more tabloid-y and changed John Thorpe's caption to the funny version. Note: gigs during the regency period was a type of carriage.

Fake tabloid cover for "The Meryton Mirror" with close up if Keira Knightley playing Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice 2005 with big yellow text in all caps that says "Misanthropic smartass keeps rejecting men!" To her right is a photo of Mrs. Bennet with a quote beneath: "No one cares about my poor nerves!" In a red box below there is a bulleted list with two points in yellow text in all caps that reads, "One of the rejects bails out her wayward sister" and "she marries him!" The lower right has a small portrait shot of Matthew Macfadyen playing Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice 2005 from the scene where he is standing in the rain. Black text in a bright yellow box below his picture reads, "Filthy rich jerk reforms, bails out worst enemy and crush's wayward sister, and scores with crush!" Small white text in lower right corner reads, "text from tumblr post by @redwooding" and "photoshopped on Photopea by @taciturn-nerd"
Characters from the 1997 adaptation of Jane Austen's novel, Persuasion, photoshopped to look like a tabloid magazine cover. The name of the tabloid is "Bath Enquirer" and a close up headshot of Anne Elliot is at the top left with the headline "Depressed shut-in uses whiny sister to avoid mean sister and their idiot father" with three side-by-side photos of Mary, Elizabeth and Sir Walter beneath. Under that is bold text in a red box that says "accidentally restarting romance with resentful ex, whom she marries!" Two photos of Captain Wentworth with Louisa Musgrove and Wentworth and Anne are in the left lower corner with black bold text with yellow highlighted background saying "Sailorboy gets infatuated with thrill-seeker; when she is injured, he dumps her, waits until she finds someone else, and marries his ex!" Small white text in lower right corner reads, "text from tumblr post by @redwooding" and "photoshopped on Photopea by @taciturn-nerd"
Characters from the 2007 adaptation of Jane Austen's Mansfield Park photoshopped to look like a tabloid magazine cover. The name of the tabloid is "The Mansfield Gazette". A close-up headshot of Fanny Price is on the left with a smaller photo of Edmund Bertram in the top right corner and Mary Crawford's photo cropped in a circle between Fanny and Edmund. The headline to the right of Fanny reads "Charity case rejects rich homewrecker" in white text and then below it in larger yellow text, "marries her sanctimonious cousin!" In the lower left is Maria Bertram and Mr. Rushworth's photos inside the shape of a broken heart. A cutout photo of Henry Crawford is between them. The text to the right of them reads, "Minister keeps chasing amoral rich girl; when her egotistical brother breaks up his sister's bad marriage, he marries his mousy cousin instead!" A white arrow points from this text to Maria and Mr. Rushworth. Small white text in lower right corner reads, "text from tumblr post by @redwooding" and "photoshopped on Photopea by @taciturn-nerd"
Characters of the 2007 adaptation of Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey photoshopped to look like a tabloid magazine cover. The magazine title is "Bath Enquirer" and there is a large headshot of Catherine Morland in the top right. The headline to her left reads, "Gullible teen falsely accuses boyfriend's father of murder! Feels terrible and apologizes, and marries boyfriend!" There is a cropped smaller photo of Henry Tilney below the photo of Catherine Morland. Two photos: a photo of General Tilney and a photo of Henry and Catherine smiling in an embrace are side by side in the lower left. The headline beneath reads, "Rich man waits for crush to get a clue; when she does, he fights his father, and marries her!" A smaller photo of John Thorpe with a crazed intense look in his eyes is in the lower right corner. The headline above his photo says "Living Nightmare" and there is a quote under his photo that reads, "He wouldn't stop talking about his gig!" Small white text in lower right corner reads, "text from tumblr post by @redwooding" and "photoshopped on Photopea by @taciturn-nerd"
Characters from the 2009 adaptation of Jane Austen's Emma photoshopped to look like a tabloid magazine cover. The magazine name is "Highbury Herald". Highlighted story in a small rectangle at the top has Mr. Knightley's photo with the headline, "Rich man waits for his hot neighbor's schemes to blow up in her face" and "when they do he scores with her!" Top right has a small photo of Miss Bates with a circle that says "Exclusive Interview" and the caption "Humiliated in front of her closest friends" under her photo. The main large headline under the magazine name says "Rich, tactless busybody hurts nearly everyone!" Underneath is a photo of Emma Woodhouse. To her right is a photo of Emma and Mr. Knightley kissing with the caption "feels ashamed and apologizes and marries Mr. Always Right!" In the lower left is a small photo of Mr. and Mrs. Elton looking smug and a photo of Harriet Smith crying with the caption to the right that says "Newlyweds terrorize teen over embarrassing heartbreak!" Small white text in lower right corner reads, "text from tumblr post by @redwooding" and "photoshopped on Photopea by @taciturn-nerd"
Characters from the 1995 adaptation of Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility photoshopped to look like a tabloid magazine cover. The magazine name is "Devonshire Daily". Small highlighted story at the top has a cropped photo of Colonel Brandon with the text "Rich depressed man waits for his crush's bad relationship to blow up in her face" and "when it does, he scores with her!" There is also a small photo of Marianne Dashwood. Main story in the middle has the large headline, "Egotistically romantic teen ignores dadbod for wildman!" and two bulleted items below say "ignores sister's misery" and "gets rejected by wildman" with a photo of Marianne Dashwood and smaller black and white photo of Willoughby. Lower left has a photo of Elinor Dashwood and Edward Ferrars with the caption, "sister scores too!" Lower right has a photo of Marianne marrying Colonel Brandon with the caption, "Devastated, recovers, and marries dadbod!" Small white text in lower right corner reads, "text from tumblr post by @redwooding" and "photoshopped on Photopea by @taciturn-nerd"
Characters from Love and Friendship 2016, the movie based on Jane Austen's novel, Lady Susan, photoshopped like a tabloid magazine cover. The magazine name is "The Churchill Post". The top headline reads, "Infamous flirt seduces married men across England!" with a subheader that reads, "and her sister-in-law's younger brother!" There is a large photo of Lady Susan to the right with a smaller photo of Reginald De Courcy to her lower left with a smaller headline to his right that reads, "Gullible man engaged to serial homewrecker" with two bullet points below. The bullet points are "Weds the teenage daughter instead!" and "Mother marries daughter's ex-fiancé!" A tall rectangle in the lower right has two photos stacked. One is of Frederica Vernon above a photo of James Martin. The headline above them says "Mother tried to marry me to an idiot!" A quote underneath Reginald reads, "I didn't think I would fall for her tricks!" with a smiling photo of Lady Susan below that. In the lower right corner is a photo of Frederica and Reginald smiling and standing next to each other. The lower right has small text that reads "inspired by Tumblr post by @redwooding" and "photoshopped on Photopea by @tacturn-nerd"
Tags
lol pride and prejudice jane austen Emma sense and sensibility mansfield park lady susan persuasion northanger abbey summaries of jane austen novels photoshopped as tabloid headlines created with permission from @redwooding
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