Do tax fraud.You need to abduct some kids to do successful tax fraud. I've done it with my restaurant so it can easily work for you.
"Criminal,Criminal,Criminal"
"i mean... yeah! I've committed alot of crimes the only crimes i haven't done and will never do is tax fraud, anything sexual, and murder!"
"i've acutally kidnapped elon musk once! don't ask happened 5 years ago"